Monday, February 22, 2010

I not only pretend to be funny but I have info too...who knew?

Alright – since my first blog this morning was nothing but mush and crap and nothing of real merit – I am out to redeem myself.

Oh but first – I gotta tell you about one of my newest blog loves. Rebekah! She needs more support and followers in her lap band and pregnancy journey so please follow her. I know how happy my followers make me so please check out her blog so she can join more of our sisterhood! Her link is

Okay – as some of you know if you read my past blogs…I’m down 8.5 lbs since January 1 and am super proud of myself for that. I haven’t weighed this since September of 2009. My history is this. I lost 73 lbs through diet and exercise and in June of 2008 I weighed in at 153 pounds – my lightest ever. At that point I was left with the cutest pita stomach ever (NOT) and made a decision I thought I’d never make (an expensive one at that). I had a mini tummy tuck. The surgery is quite invasive and screws up your metabolism and your lymphatic system and you swell like you didn’t think possible……and you cannot exercise for quite some time and there is some lipo involved and lipo does WEIRD things to your body. Between the surgery and the end of 2009 I shot back up to 173.5….so basically a 20 lb gain in 2 years since the TT. January 1, 2010 I started anew on my journey to get back to the TT weight because for the first time in my life that day in that plastic surgeon’s office – I was happy with my body (minus my Pita Pal).

So where am I going with this? This 8.5 lb loss is the first real loss I’ve had since the TT. I was beginning to think my body was screwed up forever. It took me years to lose the 73 lbs initially and I know what to do and how my body works but I was too busy living life and falling into old habits and was not able to work out so I gained some back. Now that I’m losing again I’m nervous. Drazil is on the floor sobbing because his best friend Sheniqua is shrinking. Meanwhile I’m panicking that this is a fluke and am thinking I’m going to gain it back. Soooo I drug out my old journals and made a list of things that have worked for ME. If it can help someone else – great! If not – at least Drazil can shut his big mouth and realize I’m serious and I know what I’m doing.

Here’s my list of things that worked for me:

1. If I decide to eat something out of my calorie range (usually a sweet or dessert) – it has to be DELICIOUS, mouth-watering or nearly orgasmic before I’ll finish it. For me this works – if I make the decision to eat it and it’s not all my mind thought it would be – I take one bite and throw it out.
2. I chant “Waste It or Waist It” continually in my head……it’s my mantra. Wasting it won’t kill me….adding it my waist just might.
3. I keep gum with me all the time at my desk when a craving is most likely to strike. Some of the flavors they have out now are completely candy-like and it can take an urge away.
4. This is a new one – I’m trying to take a drink of water between every single bite of food. I know you lap-banders aren’t supposed to drink with food (right?) – so this is one just for me. It’s hard – but it works.
5. Another new one – I set a challenge for myself to set my fork down in between every bite. I am a FAST eater and a huge-quantity eater and if I do this it forces me to slow down, talk, enjoy the company or whatever. For some reason I think if I don’t inhale my food someone will take it from me….I need to slow down and enjoy the moment.
6. Whenever I get a “weight loss” compliment I write it down in my fitness binder. No matter what the comment is – I write who said it and the date. On my worst days I have at least a page of compliments I can read to prove to me people are noticing and I can do this. I can’t read that list and not feel proud.
7. I stick to 1200 calories or under. If I burn 400 cals in a workout I don’t eat them back – I end the day at 800 cals. This is probably not smart but for me it has worked. I am trying to stay really close to 1200 now and not under.
8. I workout about 4 to 5 times a week – with my husband. If he’s doing it – then it motivates me and if we do it together then I don’t miss out on time with him and my kids see we make exercise a priority.
9. I leave the room (kitchen basically). I don’t have a laptop because I could carry the laptop into the kitchen or living room. I have a TV in my office and when I feel like binging I busy myself in the office – AWAY from the kitchen. Out of sight – out of mind.
10. I try to have a goal event. Not just a goal weight or number or size. I like event goals. I like to picture what I’ll feel like, what I’ll wear, what people might say. I think of how exactly I want to feel at that event when I walk in and all the size 0 snots who will be there that I want to make jealous. For me – it helps.
11. I have a list of reasons why I want to do this – and I continually add to it. On days I want to give up – I re-read this list.
12. I tan – now no – I’m not telling anyone to tan and get skin cancer. I’m saying for ME – I make this choice – having a tan makes my cellulite appear less cellulite-y….I feel sexier.
13. I document my food meticulously (most of the time) using It’s free and has all the foods I eat in it and my BFF and I can check each other’s food counts and exercise and weights in it. It makes me accountable and if I get obsessive she calls me on it. If I didn’t do this I would use a journal. I make highlight decorated calendars and do countdowns and the like – just to be able to use colors and stickers like a kid again – and because for me it’s fun to see what I’ve done each month.
14. I am a scale whore (as BG puts it). Some say it’s not good to weigh every day. For me – it’s a must. If I’m not weighing – I better start praying. I gain weight FAST and if I don’t keep a watch on it daily – it gets out of control.
15. I laugh at myself – and I walk around the house in skimpy clothes acting like I can pull it off just so my daughters can know I’m proud to be a woman – fat rolls or not, body issues or not. I wear thongs even though the strings get sucked into the oblivion that is my butt just because I know my husband is blind to that oblivion and just sees “beautiful”.

Take that Drazil and Sheniqua! I’m on track and pretty soon you’ll be non-existent….especially now that I have blogger friends to keep you in check!

♥ Smooches and hugs ♥


Band Groupie said...

Well that was educational...and FUN! I'm going to try the 'NSV list'...I'm a SAHM and don't get out enough this time of the year so they're few and far between...a list would be helpful. Oh, and I covet the sip between bites...just remember that when you're sipping LOL. Thanks!-BG

Rebekah said...

About #12--hahaha...ask my husband--one of my favorite mantras is "tan fat looks skinnier than white fat!" Absolutely true! AND-- all the new hype about Vitamin D makes a girl feel downright self-righteous for putting on those little glasses! We might get melanoma, but God bless us, we'll never have osteoporosis!! I love your list!! Thanks for putting it up there! And thanks for the shout-out too!

Gilly said...

hiya Drazil...if you want a signature on your blog, then click on'll take you to the site where i designed mine :)

Kristin said...

Hey Drazil, great idea about logging compliments. Thanks for the list, always good to see what works for others.

LDswims said...

I love the list - thank you for sharing that!

I love your blog. Your approach to writing it is hilarious! Thanks for the good laughs...and now that I'm all caught up (to all two months) I'll be piping up more often. :)

Girl Bandit said...

Redeemed!!!! There are some great hints there and congrats on keeping most of your weight off. I am going to steal some of them