Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Day 2 of the man diet....

….oh and my progress report at the end too.

Okay – Day 2 of the hubby’s diet. He is annoyingly perfect at it. In fact, I’m all about giving him an extra tbsp of mayo or an extra 2 oz of meat – first because he’s a man and I built the calories in and second because I think he’ll whine if he can’t eat how he wants to (which is like a caveman who hasn’t seen food in 20 years).

But nooooooooo - excuse me for trying to be Mrs. Farting Rainbow and Gumdrops wife! I try to give him extra and he’s all “nah – that’s enough, nah – I don’t need that.” Whatever – have I mentioned he sucks a fat baby’s ass? Who in their ever-loving mind turns down food??????????? Whatevah. So now I’m stumped. I try to get the man to eat at least 1200 cals and now he’s way under that – especially after working out. He’s going to starve – it’s not my fault.

And yes – I forgot to mention – I completely realize as a man he needs way more cals than 1200 a day. He’s only doing 1200 calories for one week as a sort of jump start to weight loss (like a cleanse). He’ll get used to eating less and note what portions should really look like and them bump up his cals to at least 2000 next week. 2000? GAWD – I’d kill for that. (I’m still contemplating sticking a penis to my leg just so I lose weight faster and can eat more as that’s all it seems to take for my hubby.)

And lastly on the hubby. Him and his smart mouth. He worked out last night like I mentioned – however – it’s been about 6 days since his last workout due to him working a lot of overtime so he hasn’t been home to do the eliptical. Okay so when he works out – he works out hard. Usually burns twice the cals of me in half the time (which he points out during the workout which results in me flipping him off while I run faster on my treadmill). So today he weighed and he’s up 1.5 lbs. I know this is because his muscles burst and are now retaining water.

I tell him this.

I say, “Your body isn’t used to working out so it’s reacting and your weight went up for today.”

Do you know what this man then says to me? He said, “Well then when we have sex again, I’ll be up 20 lbs cuz my body just isn’t used to it.” (then he ran like a scared little girl)

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! To quote my BFF's blog yesterday  – “Oh no – he di’int!”

It’s been one day since he had “dessert”. Trust me – the man isn’t dying. I kicked him in the shin and cut him off officially. The only kind of "dessert" he'll be having is a sugar free dried up twinkie.  That’ll teach him.

On to me! Nothing much to report. I’ve ended the last two days around 800 cals consumed due to working out – which yes – I know – is not good. So today I’m going to add good calories in and bump it up to trick my metabolism and hopefully the scale will move. I set my March goals too (below). Nothing to do but keep on keeping on……I’ve come too far to go back now. My goals will be tough – I’m so close to goal that every pound comes off super sloooowwww but I’ll keep at it.

March goals:

Run/walk 60 miles
Burn 8000 calories
Exercise 20 hours
Workout 25 of 31 days
Lose 4 lbs.
Goal weight for March - 160


♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥

♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣

6 comments:

Jen said...

I love reading your blog! You are hilarious and your posts really motivate me to stay on track with my eating and exercise! Thanks :)

LDswims said...

I love the banter you and your hubby have. It's a lot like me and mine! We have so much fun together! My hubby loves your blog as much as I do!

Gilly said...

hee hee...very amusing.

DawnB said...

Another great post!

nic said...

HAHAH!

Girl Bandit said...

OMG...how funny is that!!!! I bet he ran fast. Like your goals too