Saturday, March 13, 2010

I just can't do it....I can't not talk about bodily fluids...even for a day.

I warned you I was a poop whore. I wasn't kidding.

Oh not really. I'm not going to talk about poop again or even Frank the booger. I just had to post again today cuz I can't stand that my first blog today was so pathetic-y woe-y is me-ish....I think Drazil wrote it. He's been a real snotlicker lately and I can't control him.

My BFF chatted with me after my morning blog and flat out said I can't have her lap band. There goes that solution to my shoving 4 brownies in my mouth at a time and taking baths in rainbow skittles.

I find myself sitting here today wondering if the janitor found my cut thongs in the trash. Is it wrong for me to imagine him standing in some corner sniffing them like weed? What movie is that where the guy gets some chick's underwear dryer lint and sniffs it....oh Striptease - Demi Moore - right? Love that movie - I named Sheniqua after that movie.

One thing is for sure - my little janitor man has to be confused. I forgot to mention I change in my office before going to the gym...and one time (at band camp - lol) I accidentally left my bra on my desk...oops. The janitor must think A) I'm in love with him and am leaving him hints or B) I'm a pervert who wants the world to see my under-things.

Anywhoozle (like Amy says) - I am just writing quick to say - I have challenged myself and want to know if anyone wants to join me. The challenge is - since I've not only fallen off the diet wagon but have literally nose-dived off of it - not to weigh myself until April 1st. As you know I am a scale whore - and this will be HUGE if I can do it...but I think I need we'll see.

Anyone else need a scale break and wanna join me?

So there you have it - no poop story indeed...are you shocked? Rest assured - there will be more in the future - Explosive Man can't help himself. Beyond being explosive I think I forgot to mention he "explodes" like ALL DAY LONG. I'm not kidding - the man poos more than 5x in a day. Why the hell he even eats I don't know. It's not normal. I can't deal with it. So you all must share in my pain........I'll keep you posted...I know you're on pins and needles until next time.

♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥

♪ Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be. ♪

♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣


BanderificBeauty said...

Lol for not being about poop the word showed up a whole lot LOL Man you have me panicing in bathrooms now. I know that everyone knows what Im doing. Your always in the next stall saying I know what your doing in there. AHHH!!!!! I think I have a new complex ;)

I think you should sign your underthings next time and leave it just to see if you get a reaction LOL I was going to say write "Property of Mr Janitor" but I think that may be sexual harrassment.

You have to have a helluva strength to not weigh that long. I would say I would take it with you but I would break I know it. I wish you lots of luck and I may secretly try and see really how long I can go. Oh well guess its not a secret now opps lol

Rebekah said...

Oh my gosh!!! You just sent Gritz into a seizure!!! Not weigh until April 1st!!!!?!?!? That's impossible for me! And BG won't comment and pretend she didn't read it, b/c she will be afraid too! :o)hahaha.... a scale fast?!? I'm still reeling. I've got to turn Gritz on his side so he doesn't bite his tongue.

LDswims said...

Are you kidding? A scale holiday? For THAT long? What are you, nuts? You must not really be a scale whore. :) I could see trying every other day. Maybe even every third day. Dang, if I tried, I could even see once a week. But two and a half weeks? What are you, nuts?

I can't do it. Don't want to, not interested, and most importantly to me, not going to. I'm enjoying my 5-6 scale bonding moments a day. I'm enjoying the fact that in one day I gain 6 pounds just to go to sleep and lose 8. Don't worry, after waking up, down 8, from just 8 hours earlier, I still crawl back up 4. It's fun though - can I guess what the scale might say next?

Jennifer said...

lol - DLswims I do the same thing.

And Draz - you KNOW I can't do this challenge with you. I can kick azz on a sugar challenge but NO WAY on not weighing!
I'm BG's homie on this one! lol

Michelle said...

You are tooo funny... I would share my band with you if I could,,