Sunday, March 21, 2010

Ramblings from the mind of a genius....(aka Mama Pimp)

Yah, I know you all thought I was all brawn and no brains....but you're mistaken.  I got me some good brains...I just rarely chose to use them - it's so predictable you know?  Now I'm not saying this post is going to alter your lives but it could...you never know. 

FIRST and most importantly - guess what today is? 
One year ago today Jenny (Jen's Lap Band Journey) and I re-met after years of not seeing or speaking to each other due to distance and time and life in general.  One year later I know I'll never live without her again.  I've never known anyone like her and I've literally waited my whole life for her.  She is the definition of best friend and she makes me a better me.  I think one day we'll do a vlog on her blog and I promise I'll smooch her right on the forehead to prove how much I love her - for all the world to see....I know she can't wait.  I love you Jenny!

Second, I painted my toes bright blue.  Yes I'm 35.  Yes I have no business pretending in 13.  I did it to pay homage to the Cookie Monster.  I love him.  He makes me smile and since I can no longer partake in his yummy cookies I thought I'd paint his color on my toes.  I made that up....that's not why I did it - but it sounds good right?  C is for cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie!



Third, my little girls had french fries today.  They did not eat them all.  My husband threw them in the garbage.  I was inches away from digging them out to eat them.  That is the definition of desperation.  Enough said.

Fourth, last night I was mindlessly eating Sun Chips.  I hate Sun Chips.  Never liked 'em.  But I was eating them.  Husband says, "Should you be eating those?"  NOPE.  That would normally be the end of it but do you know what that bastard sweetheart did then?  He got up, took them from me, and put them away.  Yup, right out of my hands...like a thief in the night.  I felt violated.  I told him to "help me" on my weight loss journey - I never really thought he would.  Peckerhead.

Fifth, I saw someone (could be The Dash) - I can't remember - who used the word "fark" on their blog.  That's my favorite new word.  It replaces plethora and whootananny and FUPA.  Which then leads me to question why are all my favorite words dirty?  There's something wrong with me.

Sixth, why do I insist on numbering my blog paragraphs?  Am I too good for normal paragraphs?

Seventh, I have severely limited my sugar intake as you know. Some days I get less than 15 grams.  My goal is not to eliminate it in all forms....just in the major forms like cookies, cakes, sweets, desserts, candy, etc.  I have a frenemy who I was telling this too and she knew what I ate the day before.  Do you know she had the balls to point out to me that "spaghetti sauce has sugar in it so you didn't really give up sugar."  Thanks Einstein.  Wow - stunner there.  Who knew?  I farked up.  Why do people like this get to breathe in my air space?

Eighth, I have nothing left to write but I hate odd numbers so I had to write a number 8.  (Eek I just realized Friday I asked SEVEN questions...what was I thinking?)  It's part of my OCD nature.  Oh wait no - I do have something to say - did you all grab your ho-bag awards?  I'm seriously thinking that every Friday I might post a few questions to start the weekend on.  Would you guys participate and like that?  Funny and serious ones just like last time....I shall try it but I'm not promising a new award.  Don't go getting all greedy on me.....

Oh and P.S. - only 10 more days until my fat baby's ass gets to weigh itself again.....can you believe it?





♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥

♪ Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be. ♪

♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣

12 comments:

Caitlin said...

I hate odd numbers. Drives me nuts lol

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

lol....freaky friday questions sounds good to me :)

DawnB said...

Awww!Sounds like you & Jen are very lucky to have each other.

Gen said...

The part about Jen almost made me cry! Awwwwwww!!!!!

Carmen said...

i just got a little teary but then threw up a little when you were rambling about jen. only because i'm insanely jealous that you chicks get to be real live friends :-)
i'd answer questions every friday! i'm a total quiz-ho. and no, i will not require an award every week, the 1stt one was the best!

Kim said...

I am down for the Friday questions!

THE DASH! said...

Hey, nothing wrong with blue nails. Done that myself - quite a few times! Even if my mother in law does tell me it looks like I'm now dead! lol.

You're lucky to have someone like Jenny in your life. She looks like the coolest girl. I bet you two are a terrible twosome!!

~*~TRACIE~*~ said...

I would answer friday questions also, and no i dont require an award everytime but i sure enjoyed my first award :) I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog keep it up you never know who your helping in the process :)

Girl Bandit said...

I am so far behind on blogs that I don't know what your talking about but hey it still sounds good to me. I met my bestie at WW...we were both leaders and she rocks....

Janelle said...

I asked my husband to help me, too... I knew I would regret it, but I try to listen to that jerk sometimes when he questions my food choices. Wth is his problem?!

Dirttrackdiva said...

i'm totally down with freky friday questions. that sounds like fun. i also have the same issue with my hubby. last night i was eating buttered popcorn jelly beans. they are THE BEST! and he did the same thing, asked me if i was supposed to be eating them, then took them away when i said no; and the best part is, he ate the rest of them. shithead. lol can't wait till friday to answer more questiions. i too have a bestie like you and jenn. she is my sister, really and truly. i love her. we are certainly kindred spirits. my "jenn" is tammy. :D sisterhood is a powerful thing.

Joey said...

I have bright blue toe nails too!
But I prefer odd numbers.
Agree to disagree?