Friday, April 23, 2010

BYOC - Edition 5 (I think...right?)

It’s Bring Your Own Craziness day where we answer 5 questions we may not normally address in our blog as a way to get to know each other a bit better. Don’t forget that if you answer these questions – you get to take the “Ho-Bag Award” from the Mama Pimp on my side bar.

Enjoy! Happy Answering!

1. Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why.

Hmmm…so many….like I would never want to be the woman doc who tells a guy to “turn his head and cough”…ack. Um how about a sewer septic service guy….mmmm. No – I digress – not very original – but I could never do what my husband does. He guards the worst of the worst prisoners in our State. He gets feces thrown at him, deals with men cutting themselves up, does intense strip searches and is threatened daily – literally by men who have raped 2 year old babies. I could not work with a person like that without wanting to torture him…and I don’t know how my husband does it. Gives me chills thinking about it.

2. What’s the best present you ever received for your birthday?

OMG – why do I pick such hard questions? I do not know – my husband never lets me down when it’s my day. As a kid in a poor family I never had a birthday cake from a store – you know with fancy writing and fancy roses and pretty colors and my name and all that….and I wanted one. When I turned Sweet 16 – my husband had a special cake made with my favorite colors and my name and Happy Sweet 16 written on it. It was “sweet” indeed.

3. This is from Amy W. (I had a request to copy her question and ask it today in BYOC) (Hope that’s okay Amy!)

What do you hide behind?

I know this question scares the crap out of a lot of people as you find your way through this journey BUT I hope you can look at it in another way. I know you’re scared you’ll lose your identity, the person you are now and you’re scared you won’t like the person who comes out from behind the weight. I understand. I went through that. Ask Jenny – I’ve always said the mental part of losing weight is way harder than the physical and I meant it. BUT what I’ve learned is this. The “fat” me – wasn’t really me. This me – the person close to goal – is me and has always been a part of me. I didn’t make a completely new me….I just came out more as the weight came off. What if girls – you end up liking you thin more than you did overweight? I know some of you love who you are now – but imagine – the feeling of liking yourself intensified? It happens.

There are two sides to this fear – fear of not knowing and not liking who you may become when you are thinner and have no weight to hide behind BUT there’s a second part of this that could turn out just the opposite. The new you could be better, healthier, happier, even more funny, gather even more friends…it could be the real you and you’ll be amazing.

Yes – it’s a difficult road – old habits die hard. Four years into my journey and I can still find myself shopping in the plus size section out of habit. But the new me is strong enough to walk out of that department and know I earned that and know the person in the plus size department was never really me anyway. If you love you now – overweight – why is it so far-fetched to think you will love yourself even more when you are healthy and thinner? The essence of you doesn’t change – I promise – it only shines brighter.

I see it in Jenny. I literally thought she was perfect before and even she will tell you she was happy. Her journey has been hard – mentally and physically – and she’s finding her inner self more every day – but the Jenny I knew isn’t gone, I didn’t lose her. She’s no less funny, no less amazing, no less Jenny. She is more though. She is healthier. She is more amazing. She is more full of pride. She is more of herself. She is more funny because she laughs even more. She is more Jenny – more mother, more wife, more friend…..

Anyway – for me – the answer is – I hid behind my title of being mother, wife, and everything to everyone. I was the martyr, holier than thou, run myself ragged, put myself at the bottom of the list, the Saint - girl. How on Earth could anyone expect me to be healthy and take care of me when I was busy saving the world – that no one asked me to save by the way? I had to pull myself off the pedestal I put myself on – get down – and get to work. Being so many things to so many was my excuse for never being anything to myself. No one ever told me I couldn’t have me time, or that I wasn’t allowed to get healthy or exercise. I told myself that….and it became my mantra. I don’t have time for me…..because you all need me so much. My ego at its best. Turns out I could work out an hour a day and eat healthy – and everyone around me survived – prospered actually. Who knew?

4. Where were you born?
Wisconsin

5. A little twist on this one..usually we ask – what blog spoke to you the most, stuck with you, had the most effect on you this week? This week I’m adding to that which comment may have affected you greatly? Sometimes a blog can lead to amazing comments and they deserve their own claim to fame here in this question.

Hands down for me - I pick two blogs – Carmen (I’m with the band) and Diz (Death by Calories). Carmen is a lap-bander I follow and she’s making some HUGE moves in her life and her courage astounds me and I’m super proud of her for reaching out and realizing she is worthy of the absolute best. Diz is a non-lap-bander I follow who talked about being too hard on herself this week and I’m guilty of that too so it struck a chord with me. I love them both!

Oh and my Band Babe - she's a tummy-tucker just like me now...except she's skinnier than me...so I hate her.  LOL  Smooches BB!


♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥

♪ Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be. ♪

♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣

9 comments:

Gail said...

Great questions.. I am gonna play along and do it now...
Thanks..

Amy said...

OK, two things:

1. I am OBSESSED with prison shows on tv. I watch them ALL THE TIME. I love when MSNBC has marathons. Therefore, I am secretly obsessed with your husband. Just don't tell him that!

2. I used to live in WI! I knew I liked you for a reason - we lived near Green Bay and then near Milwaukee/Waukesha!

Smooches!

Leslie said...

Love BYOC Fridays!

1. I am elevator phobic (big time) so I would not want to be an elevator operator - not that they even have them anymore. Also not a nurse on a submarine.

2. My husband gave me a surprise 50th BD party few years back with about 40 of my friends - awesome!

3. This is a great question that I could wax prolific on for many paragraphs. The most honest answer I can come up with is that I can blame aspects of my childhood that were painful and wrong for bad behavior and bad choices I make at times. So in some sense, I hide behind my past as a way of not assuming full responsibility for my occasionally judgemental or bitchy self that surfaces on occasion. I don't claim this to others, but I'll think about it to myself. At 56, I know when I'm BSing myself, and usually can turn it around and make an amend to someone I've been snappy with. And you thought I was pure sweetness and light!

4. Flushing, NY

5. Easy - thought I'm totally over it now. After my first day posting pictures of all my food, a random commenter said, "That's an awful lot of food for someone who wants to lose weight." I felt criticized, pissed off, but also ashamed that maybe I was off base with my food...I posted about it and I know you saw it. I responded nicely to the gal via email, and her response back was to the effect that in her country, people would eat 1200 calories or less to lose weight. She speculated that my recent difficulty losing was because of all the rich food I consumed, and maybe I should look at that. POOH. By the time I read that, I'd had many positive comments and good advice to just let it go, so the email response just made me roll my eyes. Dialogue done.
Funny how so many great comments didn't come to mind first when I read this question!

Have a good w/e!

Gen said...

The prison thing is wild, I could never do that! Good for him, strong guy!

I so relate to your "what do you hide behind" answer. I answered the question on Amy's blog but I will cut and paste to put it on my own....

Thanks M.P.!

Cindylew said...

Draz...I want to post my first BYOC but apparently am technically impaired. How do I get the questions into my post (on my blog)...or do I just re-type them?? Tried a simple cut and paste and was then going to remove your answers and plug in my own but nothing showed up when I pasted.
Help....please and thank you.

Cindylew said...

never mind...figured it out.
When I copied your text it was in white and didn't show up on my background.
Crisis averted!

Dinnerland said...

I SO want a Drazil vlog and I am sad there probably will never be one, dang. I LOVE me a Wisconsin accent!!
Have missed you but have been so stressed with work-- must catch up on the pimp mamma blogs.
Hope you're doing well and love-- V

Lap Band Gal said...

Love those questions/answers...I need to start playing along on those...

Canadian Bird said...

Ummm... I believe your numbers are whack, Drazil-darling! This is your 6th BYOC! You double counted #4. I know, you're busy being fabulous & planning for Chicago & such. Just little ol' OCD me here chiming in to correct you. You can slap me in September! Teehee. xo