Thursday, April 8, 2010

Getting out from under my self-imposed cloud of doom....

It’s been a few hours – I just can’t have that negative post be the last one I write today. It’s like a cloud hanging over me and I need to spice things back up. So here’s the post I couldn’t post until I posted the other post…….lol. And rest assured – my “thank you” blog where I fart rainbow gumdrops all over you guys for your comments is coming tomorrow – so bring your umbrellas for that party and it’s BYOC day too.


Just a few items of note. I noted I “feel” things more passionately and deeply now that my mind and body are both getting thinner. This also encompasses being more aware and more perceptive and noticing things I didn’t before. Take for example:

Worms. What the bloody hell? Worms are just stupid. It’s been raining here for days and I love the rain but I hate the worms. How dumb of a species do you have to be to come out of your warm hole in the Earth to bask in rain and be driven over or stepped on? Why would you do that? Do worms even have brains? Are they the distant cousin of men? I feel like I’m playing hopscotch – but it’s not as fun – dodging worms from the car to the office door. And today – no rain – which means worms all crunchy and dried up in circles. It’s just acky poo. Enough said.

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A woman commented on my blog yesterday when I said my husband answered “fah-gina” to my what do you want for supper question. I won’t out her here – you can go see if you can find her comment if you want BUT she said her husband can go years without “dessert” and she’d like it a couple times a week.

So first another stupid husband comment and then a question. Last night I got home – snuggle up in the hubby’s arms with my purse and bag still in my hands and next thing I know I’m being “checked”….you know like a mother checks a baby’s diaper to see if there’s poo in it….only I’m being violated checked for a thong. He figures out I’m wearing granny panties and his shoulders slump and he groans audibly. He’s so disappointed. I ruined his damn day. Suck it up peckerhead – life will go on. Wanna know what I did? I checked him – in the front – looked down and groaned….oh dammit – it’s only a weiner. I was hoping for diamonds. Two can play the “what’s in your pants game”.

And the question behind all this – seriously – do you guys find that when you work out more or get thinner does your libido increase? Obviously don’t answer this if it’s too private but I was actually curious. I mean when I’m thinner I feel sexier and that goes without saying but when I exercise I’m def willing to make dessert more. I notice a big difference. Do you think it’s just that a person’s energy level increases – and you feel better about your self image or both or do some of you not notice a difference at all?

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After today’s scarier than hell blog – I have indeed solidified the fact that I am emotional eater. These are the days I wish I had a lap band like so many of my lovies in blog world - so it wouldn’t be physically possible to eat a bazillion calories by 10am. This week – suffice it to say – I suckola….which really makes me feel craptastic and shiterrific all at once.

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Lastly – I have found a boyfriend for Martha Stewart – though she is already married. A guy came into my office yesterday and I kid you not – I coughed – out loud – like I was choking on gas. Not only did he take a bath in cologne, I’m pretty sure he shaved with it, combed his hair with it and used it as lotion for every square inch of his body. They could have an affair and just like Pepe Le Pew – no one would come within 8 miles of them for fear of burning their nose hairs if they did. Why do people do that? Seriously – after like the 16th spray – what possesses a person to think – oh 17 sprays would be even better? I pretended I was choking on a mosquito – yah cuz mosquitoes are real prevalent in my office.


Oh and did I mention I love you all….you’re the greatest little ho-bags evah!




♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥

♪ Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be. ♪

♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣

22 comments:

Carmen said...

i just love the visuals i get when i read your blogs! well some of them...well i don't think i need to go further :-)

LDswims said...

libido - yeah, losing weight, being skinnier, being smaller - definitely helps the libido. My libido sucks right now, to be honest, and I chalk it up to too much fat in the lady parts and the arousal doesn't happen like it used to. I can't wait to lose weight THERE! My mind wants it far more than my lady parts do...and that has only been the case in the past year when my weight really jumped on....

Later Never Exists said...

LMAO @ "it's only a wiener!!!" That was classy!!!!! :)

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Little Miss Fatty Pants said...

YES!! dessert for me when I feel good about myself. other than that my boyfriend can only get it when I feel like it. Sorry boyfriend, but those are the rules of life.

Nikki said...

OOO! I so have a mosquito problem here too...only it seems to follow me to stores and other places...LOL.

People looooove to bathe in cologne here in Hawaii...EVERYONE does it...its all the rage...which makes me want to puke...all the time. UGH



As for the libido question...(sorry if TMI)

I dunno? I mean, personally...I always wanted it all the time...but I wasn't comfortable doing certain things because of my size.

Granted, hubby will be home in 10 days...and frankly after 7 months of no sexy times...I dont think I will give a shit about what I feel comfy with...its been S-E-V-E-N months...

But I do feel sexier...like I ordered new lingerie...in a smaller size of course...and they are a little different than I am used too...not all covering and stuff...so I will probably shock the hell outta him...


(sorry if I am no help! LOL)

Jess said...

Sounds just like my husband! He does the "check" on a daily basis and it drives me outta my mind to where I would like to roll him up in a sheet like a burrito and beat him with a shovel for a minute! (Don't call the cops, I am only kidding) And don't let me be wearing a thong cuz he will just about flip me over trying to touch the back of it and needless to say, I end up with a wedgie and he has a fist mark on his arm. Also, the whole "making dessert" question. I can honestly say that when I was 30 pounds lighter we made dessert about 5 times a day and since I gained weight the last couple of years my pastry making just isn't what it used to be. I am hoping (for my hubby's sake) that it all changes when I lose more weight cuz he gets impatient with me and doesn't understand why I don't feel like baking half the time. Sucks but that's life! Wow hope you enjoy reading this short novel I just left as a comment.

Jenny said...

Libido. I always wanna but I pursue him more when I'm thinner definately. I feel more adventurous!

Katie J said...

I am just a horn dog by nature - big or smaller. I want it more then my man does. He is a little older then me (15y) so I think his has decreased. We only managed to have dessert 3 times LAST YEAR but I am happy to report it has been more then 3 times this year so far. It is his birthday on Saturday and we are getting a hotel room so dessert will be had and maybe even more then once ;-)

I can't help having a girl crush on you - I swear! I just love reading your blog whether it is a happy post or not. Have a good one sweetie!

Jen said...

It has definitely increased for me. My hubby is 20 years older... and not that interested.

Shaggs said...

Yes yes yes re: the libido issue. My husband ends up feeling kinda violated and used and yes, I tell him to suck it up princess cause you never know when I'll back in my shell and you'll be begging for a sideways glance. However - for some reason when my husband "checks me" and then feels disappointment it makes me absolutely livid with anger or something (no name for the feeling) cause he honestly expects me to exist every moment of my day right down to my knickers for his pleasure alone. That ticks me off. So wish I could do the diamonds line on him - one day soon i will - my "balls" are getting bigger I just have to push away the hurt and pull out my "Sasha Fierce".

Miss S. said...

I've never been super thin and Hubby and I are VERY active in that area. I guess if it intensifies with weight loss I'll have to quit my job. hehe

RC said...

*sigh* OMG, I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. I'm totally going to steal the "I was just checking for diamonds" line. I can't wait to use it! Oh my gosh, I'm still laughing.....On the libido front, definitely better. For me personally, I feel better about it as my stomach gets smaller so mentally I'm more there which means the whole thing is better! And you're right about the exercise thing too. I think it makes you feel more empowered and just wakes your body up! That translates to making pancakes more fo sho!

THE DASH! said...

Thats a positive for me also. Libido is DEF up since losing weight. Its amazing how much easier you can move around that bed and since the lady parts have MUCH less padding, its also more fun!

Ali said...

Just discovering your blog. Its been very enjoyable so far. You're usually very funny, but must say that I appreciated the previous post--so much of it resonated with me. I'm my parents only child and I graduated at 39 from college (did it as a single Mom of 3)...neither of my folks could make it to the actual ceremony as it was "out of town" (we're talking 45 minutes away)...disappointing to say the least. I always make sure NOT to do that to my kids.

Anyway....hang in there!

-Grace- said...

My libido definitely increases when I'm working out and thinner. It's a problem...I've burnt out perfectly good vibrators before. Tmi? LOL

linds said...

This post seriously made me snort!

And to Jess' comment - here I thought I was the only one who wanted to roll my honey in a sheet and beat her with a hammer - or shovel, is there a difference, really?

Here's my take on dessert - After a great day of eating well, working out and staying on t rack of my goals - I feel like, by Gawd - I deserve a little dessert. However, Ive sure noticed that when I feel fat and blah, the resulted dessert is just as blah and simple, like plain vanilla ice cream. Very few would turn down plain vanilla ice cream but it could be better. Now, when I feel better about my body, have more energy and am more confident - my dessert making goes to a whole other level - more like a brownie, hot fudge, caramel sundae with whipped cream, nuts and a cherry - all over the sheets and hanging from the ceiling fan.

So, yea - I think it makes a difference, fo sho!

Man, all this "dessert" talk is making me hungry - for ...... ice cream! :)

DawnB said...

Yes, my libido has increased .....but so has DH's - I didn't think that was possible...how could he possible become more of a horn dog than he already was??? He'd take a hump anytime/anywhere- twice infact. I should be flattered, but I want to smack him in his boy parts with something painful- jeez...give a girl are rest will ya????

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

Another post - more tears - but at least these are happy, giggle tears. Worms are incredibly stupid! My son was just asking me why they do that yesterday - does anyone have an answer, cuz I sure as heck didn't.

Libido... sure it increases, but right now I'm so tired from living at the gym that I don't have the energy to think about it by the time I get home, lol.

Btw, The Husband doesn't do the pants check too often. He's more into making sure there are no lumps in the girls... usually when I have my hands in dish water or something. Damn horn dog men! :)

Julie said...

I am planning to write a very long post today where I will answer you dessert question among other things.

Yvonne said...

I found as I was losing weight I wanted dessert more often put then as I have been gaining weight with my pregnancy I have not wanted dessert at all and then my brain goes into overdrive thinking he is going to try a different restaurant for dessert hehehe (which he is definately not the type to do).

This is where my hormonal brain is at at the moment :-)

BanderificBeauty said...

"fart rainbow gumdrops" LOL!!!! Girl you seriously make me lose pounds by laughing so hard. And about the labido I have found mine has increased by ALOT! I guess being as big as I was it just all seemed like a chore. After losing a little more then 100 since then I am always ready to go lol I feel great about myself and everything else seems to follow right behind ;) My energy level has increased and so has my flexabilty MWAHAHA Makes for some good umm...dessert :D You should really release the "Draz dictionary" Suckola, craptastic, and shiterrific should be known by the world!!!