Sunday, April 18, 2010

Were you there?

I found this today.....and I'm sharing it.  I have a brother who wasn't what we needed him to be during the flood my parents withstood....and one day I was angry...and wrote this.

** side note - my mom was HOME when the flood hit **

Were you there?

When the torrential rains came and the creek overflowed?
When the floors buckled and her fear of water really showed?
Were you there?

When she screamed at the water that stood 20 feet high?
When she thought she'd drown and knew she'd surely die?
Were you there?

When no one came and she had no phone?
When she screamed out the window and felt so alone?
Were you there?

When the fireman came just like in a movie or even a dream?
When she looked back and all she could do was let out a scream?
Were you there?

When I had to call our dad and tell him mom is now okay?
I heard him fall to his knees because he hadn't lost her that day.
Were you there?

When I had to call our brother and say, "Are you sitting down?"
And when I had to call our sister and hear her gasp as the phone hit the ground?
Were you there?

When I took our dad home and saw him again fall to his knees?
When I held on to our mom as I felt my own buckle beneath me?
Were you there?

When I found our mother in her kitchen sobbing like a baby?
And I had to say we'll find a reason for this some day - maybe.
Were you there?

When strangers wrapped up our whole lives and all our memories?
When our house was cleared in 24 hours with what seemed the greatest of ease?
Were you there?

When I took our parents in and I had nowhere for them to sleep?
When we were all exhausted from maneuvering in mud 6 inches deep?
Were you there?

When we worked for 18 hours straight between anger and tears?
When we said goodbye to a house we had called home for 25 years?
Were you there?

When our parents were forced to live in a garage with no shower?
When mom cried in my arms for what seemed like the 12th hour?
Were you there?

Through the meetings and phone calls and endless paperwork and BS.
Through the moving again when the FEMA guys finally said yes.
Were you there?

When we put every muddy dish away realizing all that we had lost?
When we were grateful through it all that no one paid the ultimate cost?
Were you there?

When we painted new walls and made a new home and a new comfy bed?
When I finally slept at night knowing Dad could finally rest his weary head?
Were you there?

When it was all beginning and we never thought we'd be the same?
When we became celebrities in this town but didn't want that fame?
Were you there?

When people stopped me on the street to cry and hold me tight?
When I couldn't sleep because the nightmares always came at night?
Were you there?

And now that it's over and our lives are still intact.
You're still not here and my dear brother - you can never go back.

♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥

♪ Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be. ♪

♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣


Kristin said...

Holy moly. That's a doozy. You are a beautiful writer. Did you send this to your brother? Did he respond at all?

What a devastating event for your whole family. Your parents must have been incredibly grateful that you *were* there.

** ** ** ** **
Just wondering... are you ever going to tell us your name? If not, that's OK but you do realize I'll only be able to call you Drazil in Chicago if that's the case, right?

Jenny said...

You really have a lot going on in there. I'm glad you have the blog for some support. (((Hugs)))

Carmen said...

whew....ditto on this being a doozy....

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

Your beautiful writing creates such a heartbreaking mental picture of the events, I just want to cry. The part about not being able to go back really hits me... its so important to be there when you are needed because choosing not to be there can cause wounds that never heal. I'm glad you were there for your family... they are so lucky to have you. (((HUGS)))

LDswims said...

That gave me chills. You are such a beautiful soul! I can't say it enough!!!