Wednesday, April 21, 2010


I found out who dresses Explosive Man. Remember a while back when EM showed up to work in Spandex with the unit all prettily encased for my eyes to feast upon and his deer hunter orange shirt to match and I wondered who dressed him. Well I figured it out. It’s my 4 year old. She’s in that whole “I can dress myself” stage so I’m pretty much not allowed to help or even give my fashionista opinion. It nearly kills me to let her do it with my OCD and all but I chant to myself, “pick your battles, pick your battles, pick your battles” and I make it through without vomiting – most days.

Today she walked out in – camo capris, a teal t-shirt with Jasmine plastered on the front of it, pink crocs with Disney princesses on them AND Christmas socks…striped green, red and white…..and folks – they LIGHT UP – they BLINK. And since she’s wearing capris – you can see all of them – blinking away at you, taunting her OCD mother. And then on top of that she put on a raincoat. She wins the award for most textures and patterns and lights in one outfit – hands down.

Okay now….you do realize anyone who sees this kid is going to think she’s “special” as Amy W. puts it? Which is fine – she is special – to me. And obviously she spends a good part of her day in Care Bear Land just like her mommy. It doesn’t help that she keeps yelling, “WOW - THAT’S A LOW PRICE” everywhere she goes. Have you seen that Staples commercial where the whole thing is a guy yelling “Wow – that’s a low price.”? Yup – she loves it. I kissed her goodnight last night and said I loved her and she looked at me and screamed, “WOW - THAT’S A LOW PRICE.” Jesus. My kid found the bottle of crazy pills and overdosed on them.

That’s it from my tiny little brain today. I have the “day after migraine” fog going on and now know the definition of strung out – but legally I guess. I’d like to crawl in a hole for one more day but someone has got to bring home the bacon because let’s be honest…..home ain’t nothing without bacon. Right Gilly?

Oh and secrets. I keep thinking about how much of my life I hide from people. And not even this blog. Just in general and I wonder if that’s another weird quirk of mine or a serious flaw or something everyone does. Like for example – no one in my personal family knows I got a tummy tuck – yet everyone I work with does. No one in my life except Jenny and my husband know I blog. When I go to Chicago – no one will know why. They’ll simply know I’m taking a trip with my BFF. I have a health issue that nearly killed me that only a handful of people know about. I write poetry – very few know this. You get the idea. I tell a myriad of people different things but never tell everyone everything….except Jenny and the husband. Sometimes I feel like I’m not being me, not being true to me by hiding parts of me but I have my reasons and I don’t trust everyone. Just something I’ve been thinking about since I realized this Chicago trip is a huge part of my life but very few will really know why.

I’m an odd duck….which we pretty much established way back when but I’m just reiterating for my new followers – so they can still run while it’s early for them.

Speaking of followers (um okay apparently I had more in my tiny brain than I thought)….I did the unthinkable. I UN-followed a few people. And holy cripes I felt horrible about it – like I should send them an email and explain that it wasn’t personal but that they never post and blah blah blah. Do you guys un-follow people all the time or once in a while or never? I was almost having a panic attack over hitting the UN-follow button!

Alright – that’s it – peace out homies! Mama Pimp loves you all….

♥ Smooches & Hugs ♥

♪ Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be. ♪

♣ Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that & nothing will resist you. ♣


Sarah said...

LOVE IT! I have a 5 year old, so I completely get the "I'll do it myself!" thing... she only just started showing an interest in things "matching" (in her world, not mine) in the last month or so... Have fun! And just remember all the smiles she's bringing to people!!!

tessierose said...

You always amuse me! I think you will have no secrets left after September....beware.

Sandy Lee said...

I love your daughter's outfit-you should have taken a pic and posted it without a head. You are so right-keep repeating-Pick your battles, because this is just the beginning. I realized after you said it that I too keep different things from different family/friends. No one at work knows much about me. My BFF is the only one who knows my deepest darkest secrets. My family know some stuff and other friends again only a bit. Like my breast reduction-probably only 25% of friends/family, same with lapband-even fewer. I don't think it is wrong. I just don't want to hear their warped opinions. This is my stuff and no one gets to tell me what they think. Well you can if you want but then I will un-follow you (get up off the floor because that won't happen!). I do un-follow people that haven't posted. I usually wait a month or two but I need to add others and have to cleanse my list. I am sad that you are no longer following me. I would have appreciated notice (again get up off the floor because you didn't!)

I thought of the best question for Friday BYOC-but I went to sleep last night and have no idea what it was this morning. The brain defrags every night when you get old. If I think of it I'll let you know.

I also think you should get some of those cool clothes like Explosive Man.

Nora said...

Ow. The Ab muscles that I didn't know I had or realized I worked out yesterday are sore - then you go ahead and make me laugh.

Absolutely I filter different parts of me for different people. I'm one hell of a nuerotic package - there's no way people could handle it all... not to mention, there are things I've done that I judge myself for - so if nobody knows, I can just bury it deep inside my Pandora's Box and cross my fingers I've learned from that mistake. Plus - Like Sandy Lee above - I don't want to deal with their warped opinions.

Katie J said...

So now I know why my number went down! :-o You biotch!

I have tried unfollowing a lot of blogs and for whatever reason, blogger does not recognize that I deleted them. Since I started blogging I follow over 300+ blogs and you are right a large percentage of them drop out or never post. Do not fell bad, do not apologize and do what you need to do. Smooches

DB said...

Oh man - your 5 yo & my 10 yo are cut from the same mold - I swear. She has light up socks too & you should have seen her St. Patty's day get up! From the fake green & White Bo Derek hair braids to the light up shamrocks~! By the way, I am a very guarded person too & do not share a good part of my life with too many people either - there's nothing wrong with that.

Amanda said...

Your daughter and I should hang out sometime. That's totally me. It drives people crazy sometimes... because I just don't care ;)

I was literally laughing out loud at thinking of a 4 year old yelloing "WOW! THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" ahahahah.

And about unfollowing peeps - all I have to say is: whew. glad I updated recently.

Cindylew said...

Your daughter sounds like a trip...just like you.
I'm a new follower and I'm not going anywhere...unless of course you "un-follow" me too...say it isn't so sister!
I hear ya on the sucks...for me it's mostly from the meds (fiorocet) which don't help anyway.
Have a great afternoon.

Carmen said...

that is so funny...i am wearing the EXACT same thing today!!

Angie said...

I just did a major awkward I'm in the library and really should be quiet version of a LOL at "the wow that's a low price!"

I love an eccentric outfit!


brattypants said...

Your daughter sounds hilarious - and super cute!

Last night I unfollowed some people too. I felt the same, like I was doing something was the first time I've ever clicked that awful "unfollow" button. Unfortunately, I'm just not getting time to read everyone's posts :( so I kinda felt like a fake follower... or follower wannabe?

Tina said...

yup-I like to think we all do it-let certain people certain parts of us..or as I like to think about it. Be different people to different groups. I have my professional self, my lapband self, my mommy self, and my crafty self. Some groups over lap but the scariest thing happened a while back. I joined facebook and a whole lot of groups merged....It still makes me uncomfortable. Only a couple of people know all of my selfs..and I like it that way.

Jenny said...

Kids are so cute!!

Sherry said...

Oh, I am loving your sweet precocious daughter! I hope my little one is the same way! I'm not OCD at all and have probably dressed litte R in something similar but called it unique.

I hear you on the secret life thing. I've got a ton of 'kind-of friends' who know about the band but only my immediate family know. Few of my really close friends.

Only my husband and three friends know about my blog.

We went through IVF to get my daughter and although a ton of friends (not many close ones) know this, NONE of my family, save parents, know.

I also dress in spandex and fight city crime at night but no one save those who are reading the comments on your blog know about that.

I'd love to see some of your poetry. I write poetry as well and have been published a few times. Most people don't know about that either...if you're willing to share, PM me. I'd love to read it.

Also, do you follow You remind me of her in a lot of ways. She is probably the funniest mom-blogger in the universe.

Corletta said...

Ha...your little girl is great! Now...about the unfollowing people...I wish I knew how. There are people that haven't posted in months...

River said...

I laughed so hard then I got scared so hard as I wanna have kids since I was 5 and my OCD is not going anywhere anytime soon. I'm not looking forward to my kids dressing themselves up.

About the secrets... I do not trust anyone. Including myself. I just can't. Everyhting I've been through in my life left this gap in me. But I think it's the least of my problems right now.

Unfollowing... I hope you didn't unfollow me :) I don't have the guts to unfollow anyone yet. And I'm following too many blogs. There is actually one blog I know I don't wanna read for reasons I will keep to myself. When I reach the point I have the guts I'll let you know.

Later Never Exists said...

I would like to think that keeping secrets is a normal thing, however, I have been told it's not.

Maybe it's and OCD thing as I suffer from that as well... maybe it's a woman thing?

Maybe it's a scorpio thing?

Maybe there's just some of us out there that aren't as comfortable with everyone knowing everything.

I cannot think of ONE person in my life that knows EVERYTHING about me. There are very few that know more than others.

And as far as telling people certain things (like blogging or lap banding)....I know for me personally it's easier to talk to coworkers about things I will be doing rather than my parents because I feel like there is less judgement. I don't want to disappoint or hear what my parents have to say, but my coworkers won't really say anything.

Make sense?

And I think that EVERY child should be encouraged to do exactly what your daughter did today. I love seeing children out and about in Super Man costumes in the middle of March. Why? Because when else in their life will they feel so free to do so? Not many times past childhood.

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

I feel guilty when I unfollow people but I wait till they havent posted for over a month and then figure they wont miss me anyways. Don't worry I am still fasion "special" I am not able to coordinate outfits and love loud colors. Probally not a good combo. But that just makes me who I am

carla said...

kids are too funny. I have a 3 year old boy who is mr independet. wants to dress himself and doesn t want me to help him with anything anymore. Thank god boys clothes are not as "unmatchable" as girls or he would be dressing himself in some crazy outfits too.

workinprogress said...

Too funny - my 3 year old son is at the same stage.

I can remember looking at kids in shopping centres and thinking 'my kids would never go out looking like that' - yep now they do!!

As far as keeping secrets goes, - I think it's great that you have a friend who knows the real you. As far as everyone else goes - it's your choice as to what you tell them but consider this, would it be so terrible for them to see the real you? You seem like a pretty awesome person to me!

amandakiska said...

Your daughter sounds adorable. Mine are 7 and 9 and I wish I could tell you that the fashion thing gets better, but it hasn't so far. They have replaced Disney Princesses with The Twilight Saga, but other than that. They both love to layer and often wear pants under a skirt with at least a couple of shirts and some sort of hat. If they ever get lost in the woods, they should have enough clothes to survive the elements for several days.

I think it is normal to keep secrets. It is this new modern world of reality TV and blogging and Facebook that makes us think that we should tell everyone we ever met about our first period.

Another great post! You're a great writer.

Joey said...

I love the "all seasons in one" outfit!

Brooke said...

OMG- where to begin?

Daughter- cute!
Secrets- Totally get that. I do that, too. Then I forget who I told what to and have to try to remember what level of detail they know when they're asking me something. Fucking confusing!
Followers- planning on doing a cull. That list is getting way too long on the side of my blog and I need to clean house so I have more room for frequent flyers!

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

That is so funny, about your daughter! I could picture (and hear) the whole scenario.

Don't stress over the unfollow. Spring cleaning.

T. Michelle said...

too funny! i have a 6 year old who is coming into his "fashion style" we fight every morning over what he is going to wear. He almost never wears what I lay out for him in the morning and it makes me want to strangle him! lol! but then i think...oh well...he'll get it one day.
Don't feel bad about un-following...sometimes its necessary...i mean if they dont post why follow? they'll never know you un-followed them anyway, right? lol...I had to unfollow a few myself

Vaia said...

Such a fun post! My b/f is the only one who knows I have a blog. It is a strange feeling and I've asked myself the same questions about why I don't tell others either. Will they think I'm vain? Will they think I'm actually not as interesting as I think I am? Do it for you!! That's all that counts! Oh...and us too!

CurvasPeligrosas said...

Hahah! I love it!!!

WOW - THAT’S A LOW PRICE.” Jesus. My kid found the bottle of crazy pills and overdosed on them.

I just love reading all your blogs, each and everyone of them has made me laugh or atleast smile.