Thursday, May 20, 2010

What if my kids were fat and ugly?

Strange question you think?

A little back story for you to clear things up.

I am going on my first vacation for longer than 2 days this year…to meet family I didn’t know existed….on my husband’s side. His whole family from here where we live now is going with us. Even though my husband and I have been together nearly 20 years I’ve never met most of his relatives because they live about 16 hours away…in Rosebud’s vicinity (Tessierose in blogland).

Now….just because I have not met these people does not mean no one else has. My husband’s mother has visited them through the years. She knows them all. I now know them through Facebook. It’s been really fun getting to know them before I actually meet them. Kinda like you guys before I meet you in Chicago! I’m completely just as nervous!

Okay – back to ugly kids.

Last night at my house….the in-laws arrive. We begin talking about our upcoming trip. I am super excited. I say:

“I’m excited to meet ________. She has kids the same ages as mine.”

The mother-in-law replied with this. Out loud. She repeated it three times.  Everyone heard her.

“Her kids are fat and ugly.” And then she followed it up with a nasty face to boot.

Let me just say the woman who made that statement is well over 300 pounds and doesn’t move around a whole lot.

The more I think about this comment the more angry I become. Those kids are active – their mom posts what they do all the time. They are also good kids – not in trouble. They are also sweet – they do nice things all the time.

Do you think that matters at all to my MIL? Nope – fat and ugly. Almost like how could I be excited to meet them when they are fat and ugly? Almost like why bother? Almost like those kids are somehow less than – simply because of outward appearance.

Ugh. I don’t understand words like that coming out of a grandmother and mother. I just don’t.

It makes me wonder what she said about me when I waddled around at 226 pounds. I must have been the fat and ugly woman her son married.

And God forbid what if her granddaughters – my daughters – had turned out “fat and ugly” by her definition?

God.

Forbid.

Indeed.




35 comments:

*~D~* said...

Wow! Just wow! I have no words...
Apparently she missed the message in Bambi, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!"

♥ Kenz ♥ said...

Sad...no excuse for that. It's just awful.

LDswims said...

That's pretty sad. I wonder what she would feel/say if someone told her that. It's all in the eye of the beholder anyway!

karen said...

Yikes! @##$&^% )*&@? ^%$#@*&^^ .
I've changed my post 3 times - Just can't say it nicely so I won't say anything at all.

DB said...

Oy! That's horrible - what a piss poor attitude she has =/:(

Crystal said...

my MIL has made comments like that to me before and it makes me wonder what she thinks about me too... like comments about other teachers - and i am one myself... just brush it off your shoulder as she's just an old lady... sometimes they get bitter - or a fuse blows in their stinkin heads and they forget to mind their manners... either way, take it in stride... her opinion means nothing in the grand scheme of things anyways... and anyways, later you can dream about punching her in the face (at least that's what i do)! just kidding... lol!!

Sherry said...

Serious shin kicks to your MIL. I was once the 'fat ugly" kid. Or at least that's what I was told by the other kids at school on a regular basis. I cannot imagine if a relative also thought that about me. Much less SAID IT OUT LOUD. Shin kicks.

Katie J said...

Not to be harsh but sounds pretty ignorant to me (Shhh don't tell Rambo!)

tessierose said...

Some people's mammas!
Hey where are ya'll going? I can keep a secret.

tessierose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tessierose said...

I hate when I double post by accident!

amandakiska said...

Sometimes the most judgmental people are fatties themselves...but never here in Blogland!

Sandy Lee said...

That is so mean. Just goes to show how ignorant some people are. And besides, you could never have ugly kids because you are too darn cute.

I wonder sometimes if people ever really think before they open their mouths. Whoops-I don't-that's why F*** comes out too much. Be kind to those kiddies that the MIL thinks are fat and ugly. They sure need it.

Jennifer said...

That is disgusting. I think you should get it out and tell her off. Can you imagine spending a week with her saying things like that. Better to nip it in the bud now.

Southern Belle said...

You MIL is just mean and it always freaks me out when you post your start weight...same as mine...

LauraLynne said...

I'd rather be fat and ugly than rude adn spiteful ANY day of the week.

rskmom said...

Wow. My question is, does she/will she say that to those children?

I shudder.

Jennifer said...

Oh, yeah and I'm 226 now and I'm now afraid to be waddling around you a weeks!! EEK! Thank G you are not bringing that woman with you! lol

Ice Queen said...

Oy to the Vey!

I don't understand how anyone can be so harsh and judgemental about children or anyone else.

I often think it is best not to know what others are saying about us behind our backs, especially as regards our weight. We just don't need that kind of bullshit swimming around in our brains, screwing with our heads.

Want me to come slap her around for you? *evil grin*

Stephanie said...

If that was me and she made a comment (“Her kids are fat and ugly.” And then she followed it up with a nasty face to boot), I would have immediately said "Would you believe people said the same thing about my you?" or "Have you taken a look at yourself lately, hon?"

How absolutley bitchy.

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

~{steam rising off screen}~
I don't think I'm calm enough to write compassionately

;)

Jess said...

Dang, that is super cold! What was she thinking? Or was she thinking? Geez Louise! That would have sent me for the bazooka! How damn rude can ya be? I have family like that too, very judgmental and God only knows that they have said behind my back!

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

What would ever be the reason for saying something like that? Is that her normal mode of behavior? YIKES!!

Jenny said...

Oh, thats sad. I hope deep down she didn't mean that about her own grandchildren.

Cindylew said...

Yikes...
Sounds like she's got a big "hate ball" inside of her.
Do NOT bring her to Chicago...pleeez.

Joey said...

For shame.

Kristin said...

Awful. Just awful.

Debi said...

I agree with everyone else above!! I just don't know what I can say that would be decent! So I better not say anything at all.

I really feel for you to have to be around someone so negative. It's bad enough that she feels this way, but to actually express it out loud, is totally horrible!

Diz said...

I'd beat a b*tch. :) J/k I just wanted to make you smile. Unfortch there are idiots out there in the world who say things like this; We've all had to deal with them. I always want to remind them that they are not the cutest peach in the bunch, but then where does that leave me?

Gen said...

Wow that shit is HARSH! Well, I'm sure you know what you are dealing with by now in the MIL department....but on the bright side, how exciting to be meeting all these relatives!

Girl Bandit said...

That is so disgraceful...do not get me started....

Vaia said...

That is so sad and awfully unfortunate. Ever since I can remember my family has teased me about my weight - forever. And I always made a vow to myself that I would never comment on my children's or nieces/nephews weight. Never. Sticks and stones really do hurt as does name calling. Can you tell I'm carrying baggage?? lol

Fiona said...

I have inlaws just like that and my kids have a father like that too. They are overweight but they are beautiful, wonderful people and my inlaws are poorer for not knowing them.
Your actions when you meet the family will speak so much louder than her cruel words. I hope those kids know they are loved by everyone that matters, MIL doesnt.

Colls said...

K, so I don't know your MIL, maybe she is like really nice, but how can a person say that about someone else's children. Esp. if that person isn't exactly "light on their feet"! <3

Yvonne said...

My grandmother who is a large lady too loves to make comments like this too. I don't know why. Something about being old school and probably the comments she has had to cop over the years but she has definately said cruel things to me when I was at my biggest (even as a teenager when I wasn't really that big at all).

The only advice I have is ignore, ignore, ignore :-) There won't be any changing her at this point.