Sunday, June 13, 2010

Could some of you please blow smoke up my jiggly ass please?

Sooooooo - lots in my little crazy head today.  Draz is in the corner picking his nose and Sheniqua is wailing in the other corner.  She is peeeesssed off.  I ran 3 miles and walked 3 miles this morning and burned 730 calories and made a huge decision to finally get her off my waist and she is gonna need some therapy by the time I'm done with her.  She's also gonna need to find a new home that's for sure.  Anyone want her?  You can have her for FREE.

Wanna know what my decision was?  Okay - I'll tell you - IF you promise not to freak out. And no one is allowed to tell me I can't do it and it's the stupidest idea you've ever heard (even if that's what you think). 

Nope - you're all required to blow rainbows up my jiggly ass and tell me it's the best idea I've ever had.

Here it is.  Wow - saying it out loud makes it real.  (My God you'd think I decided to go get a bikini wax or something for all the drama I'm creating huh?)

** I'm going to run a 1/2 marathon....13.1 miles. **

Notice I didn't say I'm going to try.  I said I WILL do it.  I have my training all mapped out in a spreadsheet.  I have my race date.  I will train for 14 weeks.  I have my husband cheering me on.  I have Jenny telling me I can do anything I put my mind to.  And I have me - for the first time in my life - believing in me.

Now to some of you I know you're thinking...geez Louise - she should calm down.  It's a damn race.  People do it all the time. 

Yup - people do.  *I* don't.  I never would have attempted it.  Never would have even thought about it.  Never would have even wanted to do it.  Never would have thought I could have.

Now - today - it's more than a race to me.  It means a lot of things...many I can't put into words. 

And because I'm a big dork and feel like I have to "give" something back I have decided to organize a 5k in our town.  It will be sponsored by a new group I hope to create called PHS.  Parents Helping Students.  I will raise money through entry fees and donations and set up a fund. All teachers at our school will be given the opportunity to email me whenever there is a monetary need...even something such as crayons or paper...and our committee will vote on whether or not to give them the money they need.  It could be a really great thing considering our teachers struggle with supplies and field trip costs and such.  And it could help students who aren't able to afford basic supplies.

Every year because I'm an overachiever my daughter is the top fundraiser for our school. She raises about $1400 and I never know where a dime of it goes and THAT PISSES ME OFF.  If I form this group - and put all my efforts into this - I will know where every penny goes. I will be giving back.  I will be using my passion. 

Whaddya think?  Am I crazy?  Lost my mind?  Okay - wait - do not answer that.  Remember the rules.  You can only tell me I can do this - that it's the greatest idea since sliced bread - and that you wish you were me minus Sheniqua hanging on my hips.  Got it?

Okay now be good little followers and do as you are told mmkkaayy? 

Seriously people - I'm lacking in confidence and doubting myself to no end here so if you can pretend for a moment that you think I can do this....well...thanks in advance for that.  I so owe you one.

Oh and right before I decided to do this marathon I saw a chick from town in her bikini and she stood up and she had 6 pack abs.  She's had two kids - just like me.  I hate her.  I nearly ran over there and cut her eyes out so she couldn't see me when I stole her abs.  What the hell is she doing showing those things off?  What-the-f*ck-ever.  Stupid blonde puny assed six pack abber. 

Bet she can't run a 1/2 marathon.  The witch. 

30 comments:

Maria said...

I think that is fantastic!! And the 5k sounds good too! Go on, girl!

-Grace- said...

Even if you didn't want me to blow smoke up your booty, I'd tell you that you absolutely, 100% CAN and WILL do this 1/2 marathon!

PHS sounds like a great idea!

kagead said...

Smoke, meet Drazil's ass. Go ahead- blow on up there and make yourself comfortable. You'll be staying a while.

Diz said...

I am so proud of you!!!! You can totally do this cute girl. TOTALLY. And I'm not saying that because you said to say that. I'm saying that because I know you, and if anyone can handle this- it's you. I'm doing Ragnar in October, maybe we should train together!! (In our home towns of course)

DiZneDiVa said...

Ok, I think it sounds amazing... Great Ideas, each. I love your passion! You can do it, every bit of it! And the teachers will love you for it too. Great Job! *Maria*-blogger from This One Time at "Band" Camp.

River said...

I thout you were gonna say something like you're getting a lizard tattoo the size of your leg LOL Of course you can run half a marathon and then may be next year or the year after that you can run a full marathon. Why the hell would anybody tell you you can't? You people have to run half marathons so I'll have hope for myself!!!

Jacquie said...

You? Run a 1/2 marathon? I know you can do it!! Disney does this Princess 1/2 marathon and I'm dying to do it but I know its too soon. Having you do it first will be my inspiration. I am very proud of you for committing to do this!

Pie said...

YES!! I'm so happy to hear you declare this!! I'm not sure what's more awe-inspiring, the 1/2 marathon or that you're organizing your very own fundraiser - a fabulous, totally necessary one at that! You can do this you can do this you can do this!!!

Steph said...

YOU CAN SO DO IT! And I ain't blowin' no smoke up nothin'.

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

Of course you can do it! You - my dear friend - can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. :)

DB said...

Oh sweetie - OF COURSE you can do it!! You are awesome & can di anything yi uset your mind to. And further more --- Eff the 6 pack abs - that ho-bag's got nothin' Draz! P.S. Our ears were ringing - thanks for saying such kind words!!!!

Jules - Big Girl Bombshell said...

Well darlin' You GO!
but tell Drazil to go find a rock...I know it was her that wrote this paragraph: Seriously people - I'm lacking in confidence and doubting myself to no end here so if you can pretend for a moment that you think I can do this....well...thanks in advance for that. I so owe you one.

No pretending needed Drazil and Sheniqua can stay in their respective corners while we all watch you RUN circles around them!

Bonnie said...

Will be looking forward to hearing more about your journey.

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

You can totally do this. Completely. Totally.

You know what? I ain't even started the green branches fire for the smoke...

Linda said...

You don't all of us saying you can do it because YOU know you can! But I'll say it too - I know you'll do great and finish with no problem. I'll be your cheerleader on the sidelines in spirit.

Kerri said...

I think the PHS idea is great! Let us know how it goes! good luck with the marathon. I am planning on walking my first 5k on Saturday. I hope to one day be able to RUN a marathon!

TJ said...

I think it is a great idea!!! There is just something about completing a Half Marathon that means just so much more than just crossing the finish line.

If you can find a training class you might want to join. I just started a 16 week program that uses Galloway's method (a run/walk methodology that has great results with little injuries). I think I might have bitten off more than I can chew since for our first pace mile I can in LAST of the SLOWEST group. arghh! But if I don't get good enough to run it this fall I will do another one later. This is just so much more than just a race.

Sandy Lee said...

You can do it. I can't but you can. mmkkaayy?

Carmen said...

duh...of course you can do it, no doubt in my mind!

Ice Queen said...

Uh...

No offense, but I don't want Sheniqua. I have enough of my own to get rid of. Don't need any more. But I hope that you find a wonderful home for her, real soon.

Maybe you can sneak into Six-Pac Bitch's house and give Sheniqua to her?

What kind of smoke would you like blown up your ass? I don't smoke, but I am sure I could get someone to help me...

Seriously, tho. I think it is great that you are going to do a half marathon. And your idea for funraoising for school, terrific. Go for it. You may have just found your passion. :D

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

You are so funny!!! Of course you can do this! I thought it was something huge. I think it's great that you're going to turn it into a fundraiser.

THE DASH! said...

So how are we supposed to say FREAKING FANTASTIC at you doing the marathon if we can't blow smoke up your wazza? Hmm lol. I will just say instead you rock!

Yani said...

i think that is a great idea!!! you can do it!!! i also set my mind to compet on a figure championship for the 1st time but i know what u think if u want to do that that mean u are in shape noop im 5'3 weight 167 way out of shape but i have from now to oct2 to be in shape im doing it to push my self 2 get there and i know u can to so GOOD LUCK!!!! and U CAN DO IT!!!!

Sam said...

PHS sounds like a great idea.

And ofcourse you will do fantastically in the half marathin. That is one of my long term goals, so can't wait to follow your journey.

Girl Bandit said...

You can do both... I absolutely know it!!!! My BFF has found your blog...withno help from me...how wierd is that????

TracyZ said...

Of course you will run that race and leave Sheniqua in your dust!

And if anyone says you can't do it, you should give Sheniqua to them!

Juli's Journey said...

Good for you. You can DO IT!!!

brattypants said...

I'm so excited for you! Running a half, setting up a 5 K and PHS.. wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!

I so wish that you weren't so far away so that I could take part in the 5 K!

Jennifer said...

I'll be behind you (on a 4-wheeler) with a smoke machine blowing it right up there. That's what BFF's are for.

Seriously, you can do this. You will KICK ass and take names (and alphabetize them in your pretty binder with stickers).

Cindylew said...

No pretending here in NJ...of course you can do this!
I'm so excited for you having made the decision and saying it out loud...often that's all that it takes...well, that a 14 weeks of training. You're my hero toots!