Sunday, June 20, 2010

In between the lines...

You changed the oil in my car as a teenager and I never even asked you to.
You worked 7 days a week and tons of overtime - so much that as a child I'd forget what you looked like - just so I had food to eat and clothes to wear.
You let me stand beside you in your shop and try to help you so I could pretend I had a relationship with you.
You come to my daughter's soccer games now because you couldn't come to anything of mine as a child back then.
You kept every Father's Day card I ever gave you though you couldn't tell me you loved them with your own words.
You once gave me a car free of charge.
You built a bench in my garage and never asked for anything in return.
You emailed me once on Valentine's Day because you can't say the words you typed to my face.
Once you came over in the middle of the night when I was alone to kill a bat in my house.
When I was in the middle of a deep depression where I couldn't literally move...you allowed me to stay hidden in your house.  You couldn't help me...but you could keep me safe.
When your house was taken in mere seconds by a flood....you let me help you rebuild though it nearly killed your pride.

You are not perfect...but you are mine.  I've always said I'd change a lot about you....but then you wouldn't be you.  You may not say you love me and I may not think you are proud of me....but the fact is you do and you are.  Because it can't be in your words...I have to look for it in your actions.  And if I look close enough...it is there....loud and clear.

You may not be all I want you to be or think you should be....but if I let you be...you can be enough.

Who you are and who you are not...made me who I am and who I am not.

I don't think I have it in me to be ashamed of that.  Who I am today is good enough.

And because I can't say it to you just like you can't say it to me....I'll say it here.

I love you Dad.  Thank you for loving me - in between the lines of your actions.


18 comments:

LDswims said...

What a beautiful post! I hope you get to spend some time with your dad today.

Miss S. said...

He sounds like a good man. I think Grandpa's often realize what they missed with their kids when the grandchildren come along.

Fiona said...

What a beautiful tribute, hope you got to tell him Happy Fathers Day.

Linda said...

You sure know how to make a girl cry. That was beautiful and you're right that we should focus on what we have that's good and not what we don't have.

SoyMamiYMas said...

The tears spilled over at "you couldn't help me . . . but you could keep me safe." This is beautiful.

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

Very nice tribute to your dad! You are a very talented writer.

Butterfly/Amy said...

That is beautiful Draz!

Cindylew said...

Beautiful words from a beautiful girl to the best Dad he knew/knows how to be.

Jenny said...

Accepting people for who they are is huge. Your post is beautiful.

Jacquie said...

That was so beautiful. I hope you let him read this post...it says so much!

Thank you for your thoughful comments on my blog today. I got through the day with a few "moments" but mainly, I enjoyed the day spending time with my husband at the Seafood Festival.

I figure that God spared Steves life for a reason and I really need to do what I can to move forward. I think therapy will help me to that end.

Tina said...

yup..made me cry. You nailed my relationships too.

Tina

Skye said...

OMGoodness! What a touching post. The tears are definitely flowing.

Jennifer said...

Beautiful!! I love you sweetie!

Bonnie said...

Beautiful post.

Jules - Big Girl Bombshell said...

Yep! Words of love......always important, in between the lines are often the most important!

Yani said...

OMG you just make me cry!! i love the poem!!! bc some who i can related to it and i love it!!!! Hope u have the chances to tell him to his face that you love him!!! Once again I love the poem
;0)

Vaia said...

Very touching!

Bringing Pretty Back said...

Beautiful.
Enough said.
Kristin