Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Shoe porn, heat stroke, and a Mrs. Fatass secret....

Um first of all - I am stupid.  Like for real.  90 degrees here - probably over 100 with the heat index and yours truly starts self-talking cocky crap like, "you can run in this, you're going to run a marathon so you better suck it up, you will burn tons of calories"....and the gullible stupid me believed the cocky arrogant me and went on a run.  I wanted to do 6 miles - I did 3.5 and walked some.  I was seconds away from calling my husband to come get me.  I swear to God I have heat stroke.  The bonus though is my boobs look hot in sweat.  Wanna see?  Okay. 

Oh and check out this back sweat.....I told you I was hot.

Okay now for the pictures of my 5 inch wedges.  My feet look funny but you guys asked for them so here you go!  (My husband wants to know why the hell I want pictures of my sweaty ass and my feet?  What should I tell him?  I couldn't think of a good answer...)

And yes I have fat calves...they will moo at you if you listen closely.

Okay now for the really important stuff.  Whootenannys.  Did you guys read Mrs. Fatass's blog today over at Did I Just Eat That Out Loud?  She totally says she found the secret to NO MORE razor burn.  I think she lies but hell it's worth a shot.  I personally think she just wanted a reason to post pictures of her skinny ass in a towel but whatever.  If I find out she was right I'll personally apologize on my blog to her....and it'll so be worth it if my vagizzle is as smooth as a Cabbage Patch doll's head.  For realz.  She knows I love her.

Hey Mrs. Fatass...if I do your little secret trick and I still get a razor bump I say you should have to do a BYOC mmkkaayy?  How's that for a challenge?

Lastly - my BYOC promise for tomorrow was to stay under 1200 cals and drink 64 oz of water.  I'm so gonna do it.......you just wait.  This girl is blowing June out of the water remember?  Still chubby BUT June is going down....that is all.

25 comments:

TJ said...

Ummm... What the HELL were thinking ;) We want you alive to be able to run that marathon you know?!?! The "rules" in my training program say that if the heat index is 90-100 cut your run in half. If it is over 100 cancel it or run inside. Also you are supposed to adjust your pace 30 seconds for every 5 degrees over 60.

I hope you are feeling good now!

Kristen said...

Hot boobs and that leg isn't to shabby either! ;0) You rock the sweat girlfriend!!

Jacquie said...

I hope you are not running in 5 inch wedges!!!

Nicole said...

LOOK at that sweat!! and what cute shoes!

Ice Queen said...

If you can snap and post pics of your (fabulous) sweaty rack, you don't have heat stroke. ;) lol

Nice shoes. And your calves don't moo. They are pretty. Rounded and strong.

Just tell the hubbs that it is a girl thing and start talking about tampons. He will shut up and run for the hills.

MrsFatass said...

It's on like Donkey Kong.

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

The shoes are fabulous! I think you're nuts to run in that heat!

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

Shoe porn indeed and hun your calves look hot!

Carmen said...

oh i'm sorry i didn't make it past your sweaty boobies....

SoyMamiYMas said...

There is so much to comment on here, but I'll just keep it to: that is some rack, lady! =)

Band-Babe said...

Your pics had a hard time getting through our fire walls... but they are there now. LOVE THE SHOES. Sweaty not my thing.

And where do I belong? Friend I needed you two summers ago. We're all successful in too may areas, and so many judegements,,, I knew for certain I didnt belong. It turns out I bellong with my brother whos is coming out of the closet. Ny hight educvated brother in law goes against uignotanvre in an amazuing klogially and real wy, i am abvuioys beeb hit bt nts swkesleep musik anio no wine thi timeWe beking t9getger abausbst everttguybg we beeb dag-=yughtmk I'll come back to amaker ssense of thus lettrt if lynne wiuoo klet ner, i swear this s just abiernkk no winrr aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa9haaaaaaaaa9ayrtys9 I havek= lots t=o sat agbiyt tghuw ata kless inpairectm.l where do yuy fit in where diu 8iii-----==Oh, i;m lostk i want to purseue this off ambien. Love yuul. Lynk that's bfor bring this upl. swomtimes i feel all alowe 4vevn theought we all erelated, APlease lets tal about this more lkaterl I lvoer you!

Diz said...

You're delusional. Still chubby? GIRL YOU ARE HOTTTTTT. Get over it already. Let's trade bodies if you want to be chubby- cause I got your chub. Notice that i have to keep putting pics of my face up because I can't do body shots like you. I'm freaking mad that you ran 3.5 miles too- further than me. I'm going to run further than you tomorrow. Just sayin...

Meli said...

what are you talking about? you feet and your calves are gorgeous! seriously, sweaty or not your body is banging.

you legs/feet remind me of my mom. she's really in shape and has always had beautiful feminine legs and feet. i hope to get there after surgery. however i got my dad's stubby hands and feet so maybe that won't happen. lol. but my point is you look friggin hot!

Miz said...

you rocketh the shoe porn, Sister :)
and fat? SCHMAT.
I beg to MUSCULAR SHAPELY DIFFER.


MizFit

Dinnerland said...

I love the sweat post exercise-- I think it is HOT!
You remind me of me, seriously. I trained for (and ran) the NYC Marathon in 1997-- and I insisted on running in all sorts of horrendous HOT weather. Bleh. Take it easy and enjoy your training. It can be fun!!

Anywho: shoes are awesome and you have lovely and muscular calves. It makes me sad that you and I and so many other women are dedicated to being waif thin when our lovely bodies are actually really not meant to be that way. I do not mean that to insult you at ALL-- but based on your weight on your appearance (which is beautiful, fit and awesome from all pictures I've seen)-- you just aren't meant to be skinny as a wisp. You are meant to be strong, lovely shaped and powerful!! I hope this isn't coming off wrong and translating into your brain as "fat" b/c that is NOT WHAT I MEAN.
Ok, I will stop now-- you look amazing and I hope you will enjoy your amazing and fit physique each day, girl.

Jenny said...

I do NOT see fat calves. You are certifiable. Look how tiny you are! I totally hate you. :P

Jennifer said...

No wonder you like to sweat - it makes you GLOW! (It makes me look like a pig in season)

LOVE LOVE LOVE the shoes. I'd try to borrow them but I'm sure I'd break my neck in 5 inch heels.
And quit it - you have awesome legs! They are muscular and curvy and perfect. I think they are cheerleader legs. Who wants legs that look like they'll break in a strong wind? No thanks! I'll keep my stumps b/c when I'm 80 and have osteoporosis (or whatever that bone disease is) I'll never be in danger of breaking my legs! They are strong like tree trunks. Ha!

Vaia said...

Umm...dude - you are hot. And all I can see are your boobs, flat abs and calves. Yowza!!

Alison C said...

Honestly was worried when I read that you were showing a pic of your 5 inch wedge that it was going to be a pic of your underwear wedged up in your backside!! Thank goodness it was just a cute pair of shoes!! :-) Thanks for the smiles!

Fiona said...

You are slinky! Super hot. And the shoes are just too cute.
You continue to amaze x

karen said...

okay, I need a link to Mrs fatass's post so I can have a silky smooth tutu. Love me some shoe porn - I love shoes cuz they always fit just the same everytime you put them on.

Pamela E. Williams said...

Ok 1st off....HOW HOT ARE YOU!! Girl your body is fab.

The shoes are fab....and

The thermometer is on HELL outside. It hot as, well you know. 99 degrees with a heat index of 105. I'm not going back out until October.

I'm Just Another Fat Girl -jafg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I'm Just Another Fat Girl -jafg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I'm Just Another Fat Girl -jafg said...

DAY-UM! You is H-O-T, gurl!

And I'm not talking the 100* temps either!

Love the Shoe Porn, but I'm a freak like that.

Way to stick it to the heat. I find that laying naked prostrate on my bed while the oscillating fan blows on my sweaty skin works best for >HEAT STROKE<.

And BTW, that's not as sexy as it sounds.

-jafg

(PS--sorry for the deleted comments...I kept being technically challenged).