Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A summary in rhyme....

My dear little bloggie buddies…it seems I have nothing to write.
I try to think of something clever but nothing comes out just right.

I think I might have a panic attack cuz I think I have the dreaded blogger’s block.
I’m like a dancer without a song, lingerie without pizza…my roll has no rock.

Please don’t give up on me yet cuz the wheels in my brain are still definitely a’churning.
My head is filled with all new Drazil style blogs cuz I gotta keep Hell’s fires a’burning.

There’ll probably be some more talk of the lingerie and the turkey-necked vagizzle.
A girl has got to stay on her game you know…can’t let the fire become just a sizzle.

My wedding anniversary is today and I have ever so much to be thankful for.
A man I love and you blog friends who have turned me into a raging whore.

Oh yes – before I met you guys I was a walking saint and even had a bright and shiny halo.
Now I have fishnet stockings, a bald whootananny and I know where ass jingles go.

I’m going to Hell – of that there’s no doubt….
All for the things I’ve talked here about.

Farting gumdrops, exploding men, Martha Stewart and the ever present va-jay-jay.
Puking and sewer-assed husbands…even tampons and what crazy mother-in-laws say.

No – you just can’t read my blog if you’re faint of heart.
Cuz I live in Care Bear land and I don’t give a flying shart.

I am who I am – Drazil on my shoulder and 20 lb. Sheniqua on my hips.
Bling on my hands, tattoos all around and super sexy glitter on my lips.

I’m a woman on a mission – driving my body out of its chubby ditch.
Now who wants Sheniqua when I’m done with the nasty bitch?

Someone has to take her and I don’t care who and I’ve warned you she’s a wench.
Oh crap I gotta go – Explosive Man just walked by and I have to prepare for the stench.

If you never hear from me again….please just take a pink Sharpie and write on my grave.
“Here lies Drazil….resident of Care Bear Land…farter of gumdrops…we should all be so brave.”


Stephanie said...

if that's writer's writers block, I'd hate to see what you'd write when you were truly all inspired.

Either way, I love it all!

Pamela E. Williams said...

Draz I swear fo Claude you are crazy, LOL!! That was hilarious!

Happy Anniversary!!! Oh might want to invest in a gas mask to safe guard against Explosive Man's stench, LOL!!

Leslie said...

Okay - your brilliance knows no end. Damn it, I'm jealous!! Great poetry - all I can say is look out Robert Frost!

CurvasPeligrosas said...

Congratulations on your anniversary :)

amandakiska said...


Jess said...

Eccentric! :)

Jacquie said...

What can one comment on something as genius as this? You continue to amaze and entertain! Happy Anniversary!

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

LMAO that's some "writers block" you have there! I have just the person to give Sheniqua to when you're finished with her... my good friend from high school... the wench still weighs the same 118 pounds she did when we graduated, AFTER three kids.

Gwen said...

Love how you're brilliant even when you have "nothing to say." Hilarious!

Diz said...

Happy Anniversary beautiful! xoxoxo Love you to pieces!!!

Cindylew said...

Happy Anniversary you little nut case.

Butterfly/Amy said...

Happy Anniversary!
Love your extra burst of talent today. :o)

Maria said...

You said "shart". I almost spit out my wine!

Happy Anniversary!

DB said...

Happy Anniversary! Now go shart some gumdrops!!!

Ice Queen said...

Hehehehe. You rock. :D

Happy Anniversary.

karen said...

I bought you a lovely little white jacket with straps for your anniversary

LDswims said...

Happy Anniversary yesterday!

Hope it was a good one!