Thursday, July 8, 2010

Hello friends....come run with me.

I’m so excited I might pee my pants. Now yes, I realize what I’m about to say is indeed not really a big deal but in Drazil’s CareBear Land of farting gumdrops and peeing rainbows…trust me…it is. Please react accordingly (which would be lots of screaming and cartwheels and comments with exclamation points).

After a 5 day hiatus from working out – I ran last night. Dare I say I ran like the wind? Okay not really…sometimes I practically hobbled like a 90 year old woman…..but get this! I ran the WHOLE time….UP HILLS….for 4 miles. And um it’s close to 100 degrees in humidity here. I averaged 12.7 minute miles. I got home and screamed to my husband “I never stopped once baby” and he high-fived me in the middle of doing his elliptical Satan machine. I could see he was proud of me. It was a good moment.

Now truth be told I used to run nearly 6 miles every day but that’s been at least a year or two ago…and I never did it outside, in 100 degree weather, and up hills.

You should have seen me recovering. I looked like some Indian war hero coming back from battle laying out his winnings. I laid out my shirt to properly inspect that it was soaked. Then the shorts which were equally soaked and the bra I could wring out. Mission accomplished. You’re lucky you guys didn’t get another sweaty boob picture. Can I just say my boobs are to die for when they are all sweaty? Yes, that was arrogant. Forgive me. It rarely happens.

I finished the day at under 600 cals due to the run and dropped a solid 2 lbs this morning. Lest some of you think I’ve crossed over into obsession diet/exercise land – calm down. One day of 600 cals won’t kill me…I’ve still got Sheniqua hanging on my flanks to help me out. I’ve got fat reserves….I ain’t gonna starve any time soon.

And just so I can pretend that maybe someone might learn something from my blog beyond the fact that I hate poop and puke and have no bikini razor burn…I want to say this.

Oh wait – just a second. I just thought of something else. A while ago I read a blog where someone was talking about how running/exercising made them emotional. I had never felt this. I have felt the runner’s high many times and it’s seriously addicting – but not emotions. Until last night. We all know this week has been “odd” for me in the way of remembering my Uncle who took his own life. Truth be told – it’s been a long time since it happened….and I really don’t think about him often anymore as I have healed…but this week was different and I can’t pinpoint why.

Anyway last night I tried a new route without giving it a thought. It led me past his grave. ½ mile before I got there I realized what I had done and I had to dig deep to hold it together as I saw his name when I ran by. I swear to you with everything in my body at that moment I saw and felt him running beside me. I can’t explain it…but he was with me. And I don’t believe in coincidences so picking that route wasn’t an accident. I was led there.

Okay on to the educational learning part I promised. I know some of you are runners, were runners or want to become runners. I have a mentor at work who just completed a marathon and I am reading a book he recommended. In case you never have the time to read such a book, I’ll impart some of the things I’m learning from it. Just two things today – in just one chapter – that have helped me immensely already.

Number one is this. The book says when you are running and all of a sudden your bad knees start to feel pain or your feet start to hurt or your back hurts or you come up on a huge hill you dread….that you should recognize the feeling and in your head, literally say, “Hi hill, come run with me.” Or “Hello aching knees, I’ve been waiting for you to show up, come run with me.” This sounds ridiculous. I know this. Um but yah, it works. I did it with the hills – my first hills ever I ran – and I never stopped.

Number two is this. Adopt a new mantra – about running and about life. The mantra is to add “but it doesn’t matter” to the end of everything. For running it goes like this. You might say or think “it’s going to rain today” – ADD “but it doesn’t matter.” Or “I didn’t get much sleep last night….but it doesn’t matter.” Or “I don’t think I feel like running today…but it doesn’t matter.”

In life you might say “I don’t think life is fair…but it doesn’t matter.” “I don’t think Bob likes me…but it doesn’t matter.” Etc. Etc.

The theory is – life just *is*…but it doesn’t matter….do what you have to do anyway. It really doesn’t matter if it’s raining – you can still run. It really doesn’t matter if life isn’t fair – you can still live like it is. Nothing matters enough to make me quit or to make me stop learning, growing, thriving and loving. It’s basically a way of taking every excuse for every single part of your life and saying “yah, but it doesn’t matter.” – so get up and get going.

And lo and behold…it’s been working for me.

I think my mentor and the book are right. Running (and life in general) are only about 20% physical and 80% mental. They say anyone can run a marathon – our bodies are wonders that are made to withstand and endure most anything. It’s our minds that stop us.

I know this is true. My body was hurting and it was hot and I wanted to quit but I told my mind to knock it off. I chanted “dig deep” over and over and then I chanted “I am a runner” over and over so my body would believe it. And mostly I thought of all of you – and how fun it would be to come here and tell you all I never stopped.

When I run…I am never alone. You are all with me….right beside me.

Be well, my friends.


Sandy Lee said...

This is the coolest post ever. When did you get your PhD in psychology? I will slap a high-five on your too. But I won't run a marathon. That's for you younguns. And I love that your uncle ran beside you. I don't believe in coincidence either. Some things just can't be explained. Yeah you!

Barbara said...

Love this Post Draz.. I am definitely going to try the "but it doesn't matter" approach.. I really really like that.

Bonnie said...

It is so much easier to train your body than your mind. I've been saying to myself that I'm going to take up running after I lose some weight. But maybe - just maybe - being overweight doesn't matter and I should just do it once I heal from surgery. I totally believe your uncle was there. Last week was a very hard week for my hubby work wise and I asked my Mom to give him the strengh to get through it. When he got back home (he was out of town) and unpacked (a bag we have used multiple times) we found an empty bottle of the perfume my Mom always wore (and I don't wear, so no way it could be mine). A sign? I think so.

Anonymous said...


I am a complete stranger to you but I read your blog every day.

I wish I could explain what your words mean to me without sounding like some sappy stalker-type person.

I needed THIS post TODAY. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Corletta said...

I loved this post! This seriously makes me want to log in lots of miles now!!! When I ran my first marathon, I was overly emotional. OOOO...IT WAS A TERRIFIC FEELING :)

Later Never Exists said...


You are amazing! *high five!*

I'm not a runner (but it doesn't matter). Your post however makes me want to run out my office door right this minute!

The mind and body are both amazing things. Our body puts up with more than we realize and can do more than we realize as well.

When I tried to do C25K the first time I realized that running (for myself) was just as much a mental game as it was physical (probably more so mental now that I think about it).

As far as your Uncle goes... I'm glad you had the chance to run with him! :)

Have a great day!


-Grace- said...

This is one of your best post, I mean that. You have now inspired me to get back on the running bandwagon.

I think that is really neat that you felt your Uncle's presence. I totally believe in that sort of thing. You were meant to go down that path and feel his support.

Proud of you!! <3

Stephanie said...

Now if i start seeing you on the news pulling a "Forrest Gump" and start doing some crazy cross country trek, I won't be surprised. You are incredible. I don't think I could run to my mailbox and back. Maybe if Jason voorhees was chasing me with a machete, I might be able to sprint a bit, but I'd wind up being the stupid girl who trips over a log and strains her ankle. but then again, those girls are never wearing bras so they seal their own fate in that respect. My point is, if you ever want to survive a serial killer, make sure you run away with me, because he will be too occupied with my grizzily murder thus giving you ample get away time. Yeah, because that's what friend like me do for kick ass girls like you!

Gwen said...

You are always inspiring, but today takes the cake. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your "but it doesn't matter" and am definitely going to try it. What was the name of that book? Sounds like its definitely worth a read.

TracyZ said...

*high five*

And I agree with the others this is one of your best posts!

Kerri said...

High Five Sista!!!

Barbara said...

PSS Draz,
You so inspired me.. I went on the treadmill and did 2 miles.. (I NEVER DO THAT).. you are a true inspiration..

karen said...


Pamela E. Williams said...

Now I don't normally do this, but you have inspired me almost to tears and chills.

This post was meant for me. I don't know why I'm crying. I really don't. Your uncle and him being with you, and most of all "but it doesn't matter." As tears run down my face, I know that for all that I go through none of it matters. I have to post that mantra somewhere because it has really helped me.

Thank you so much for this post.

tessierose said...

Great post Draz! It really is mostly mental, when my husband was in the Army, he said he never told his troops how far they had to run, and when they were almost finished he say 2 more miles and they could always make it, but if you told them a hundred yards, but then wanted more, they couldn't do it. It's the mind that has boundries. You rock!

Ice Queen said...

Just how fabulous are you? It is great that you didn't stop. Sheniqua had better look out.

Thank you for sharing the insights from your book. I am going to apply them to my walking. I am not anywhere near ready to run, yet. But I think that the mental motivation can make my walking even better.

I hope that you get to run with your uncle, again.

The CilleyGirl said...

Hmmm, I know which book you're reading! That's the one that I used to train for my first marathon, and it is definitely mostly mental prep that gets you through. I still use "but it doesn't matter" in running, but when I really need to dig deep, for me it is "polka will never die!"

susieq4givn said...

Wow! You are amazing! and I really appreciate this post as I just started the couch to 5k program and I really want to get into running. Thanks for the great advice! and congrats!

amandakiska said...

Great post! I can tell you are jazzed about your success, as well you should be!

I like the new mantra. I prefer to add, " bed" to all my thoughts. Like when I think, "Bob is such a bed." or I look at myself and think, "I look pretty damn bed." or, "I need to work out and work up a bed.". Hope it helps!

Joey said...

I'm so proud of you!!! Ok, I inspect the sweat on my workout clothes too. It's like a badge of honor I wear. Too bad the badge is smelly sometimes. I love "it doesn't matter"! I shall try it.

Lucas said...

First, HOORAY for the run and the miles and the no stopping. I'm proud and impressed and inspired! Throw in the loss and that's worth a double WOOT WOOT!

Second, amazing how your mind took your feet where it needed your heart to go but didn't really clue you in on it. I love that and I'm glad you allowed it to play out. Good for you.

Third, what book are you reading? :)

Nella said...

Another FAB post!
You should honestly consider writing a book...

Can't wait to see new pics!
I get emotional when I am running...its the best feeling!

Sam said...

Love the post and congrats on the run, you inspire me.

I love the mantra. What book is it from, I like the sound of it?

Jenny said...

4 miles is crazy amazing!!

I don't believe in coincidences either. I love your attitude about life!

Cindylew said...

Of course you were led there sweetie. It was something your soul just needed.
Let me be the 97th person to say "great post"...definitely going to try the"but it doesn't matter" thing. Perhaps it'll work when I start with I hate this job and it doesn't inspire me...

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

Liked the whole post a lot; many good suggestions for our brains.

But it doesn't matter..... Have to work that into my rhetoric when I'm down.

Of course you were led. No doubt about it. Hope it helped you. HUG!

AmeyinIdaho said...

I'm with Pamela, you made me cry.

And then I did a full hour on the treadmill. Yesterday I only did 30 minutes and was pooped. I kept talking to my knee and it really worked.

You are an amazing woman!!

1reign said...

Hey Draz in the words of Van Morrison "Have I told you lately that I love you" I should have read your post earlier but I couldn't get todays post to show on my Iphone. I needed that "but it doesn't matter" today for sure. Thanks for keeping things in perspective for me always.

Carmen said...

:-) xoxo

Dinnerland said...

The 'yah, but it doesn't matter' bit is very Zen. I like it.

Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

GO YOU!!!! I love the wisdom you shared! I say "dig deep" to myself all the time and "you got this" b/c it REALLY IS 80% MENTAL. Don't know if that's proven but I can tell you based off of MY experience and MY FRIEND's experienced, it makes a difference if you have a quiter or survivor mentality! Survivor's always make it!!!! Love it!