Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I Wish Wednesday....

It’s I Wish Wednesday for me. It’s my once a week wish list of all the things I would have liked to say and do over the past week but didn’t….out of sheer self control. On Wednesdays, I give myself permission to unleash it here. Some good, some bad…but either way…it feels good to get it out…..so bear with me as I step off the deep end for a moment.



1. To the 20 year old who just moved in next door who thinks that mufflers on cars are an option. They aren’t. When I can hear you coming and going all the way up at my house in the middle of sleeping it’s a problem. I wake up and think I’m in the middle of an earthquake and lo and behold I’m not – it’s your effing car! For real. I wish you’d buy a muffler. And if you don’t….I wish my kids accidentally smear honey all over your windshield.

2. To the lovely family member who called me 6 times in one day and only left one message….I wish telemarketers would call you every time you sit down to go pee – even on weekends. I called you back because after 6 calls I figured it must be urgent. I find out you called to ask if my brother’s girlfriend died. WHAT? Um no. Pretty sure I’d know about that. No you don’t have to ask me 16x if I’m sure. I wish you’d get your information straight before you’d call me. I wish you’d realize I can hardly talk to you on the phone without reaching through it and strangling you.

3. To the mother who called our house at 9:30pm to ask if I kept a school paper from months ago – um – I wish the Bird of Paradise would fly up your nose. We go to bed at 8pm. We wake up at 4am. I wish you knew that so I could be legitimately mad at you.

4. To the smartass who thinks it’s a good idea to drink or eat virtually nothing but Mountain Dew all day….I wish an elephant would step on your toes. Maybe then you’d wake up. Maybe then you wouldn’t eat enough to feed all of Ethopia for supper. I wish you’d be smarter than this. (Um yes, this one is for me.)

5. To the asshole that invented gumdrops and Starbursts. I wish I could stick pins in your eyes until you swore never to make another one of the sugar filled pieces of Heaven.

6. To the lady at the party this weekend who has a trainer and has to tell me – a perfect stranger – about it 16x in the span of an hour….well I wish your trainer could have seen you eat that 4th cookie. To your trainer who put you on the Atkins diet for the last 4 weeks I wish she had to eat that way. I wish she could see you can’t do that for a lifetime and I wish she could hear you tell people you are “starving”. Man, I wish you’d just shut up. I’d rather eat dirt than hear about your sugar withdrawals. I have my own Starburst issues. See #5 above.

7. And lastly, to you Draz….for keeping your Uncle’s memory alive this weekend on his anniversary. For facing your fears and attending parties when even months ago you would have cancelled with a lame excuse. For holding it together when teenagers drinking made you feel a fear you haven’t faced in years. For not killing your children during the 6 hours you were in the car - you deserve a trophy. For making it through yesterday – the whole day – without crawling into bed and closing out the world. For getting a migraine last night and still coming in to work today. For learning to live in the moment and not living with regrets. I wish you peace. And I wish for just one moment…that you could see and acknowledge the strength of your spirit. I wish you could not be so hard on yourself. I wish you the endurance it will take to keep going in this journey.


What do you *wish* today?


Oh and today is my BYOC weekly goal day. 64oz of water AND no sugar in the form of candies, desserts, baked goods, etc. I so have this….I think. LOL

26 comments:

Jenny said...

I wish sometimes I could give you a hug. Sometimes I think you need it. :)

Jess said...

I wish my 18 month old would figure out that waking mommy when the time starts with anything lower than a 6 is fun for no one. (Maybe if I put a clock in her room. She could be a genius and I'm not giving her a fair chance.)

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

OK, this is my last stop before going to my work cellblock for the day, where I wish I didn't have to report.

We have a family of hot-rodders on our block. Like what part of "we don't live on the Indianapolis 500 Race Track" do they not understand? I can hear their effing cars a mile away!

Don't get me started on annoying phone calls or people; I will be fired for never showing up for work again.

You survived a very tough weekend, and I commend you. And thanks a million for the special message you sent to me. I wish you were my for-real neighbor! HUGS!

Dazee Dreamer said...

people and their mufflers. aaarrrggggggg

And I'm with you on the message thing. leave one. I'll call back.

I loved your blog today. You rock.

Ice Queen said...

For #7 I applaud, salome and salute you. You have deep reserves of strength and grace that you are learning to tap and take avantage of. I admire you so much for pulling it all out, looking it over and dealing with it. You are an inspiration to me, every day.

About the twenty year old asshat with the supernoisy car? Did you know that most towns and cities have noise ordinances? And that noise has to be kept down to a bare minimum after a certain hour at night? Usually ten or eleven PM. If Noisy Car Boy is driving his unmufflered horror show through your neighbourhood and waking you at night, just call the police on their non emergency number and report the little shit. You don't have to give your name, if you don't want to. They won't divulge it to the person you called them on, BTW.

The police will come out and have a little chat with him. And they will most likely ticket him for the muffler issue and make him get it fixed. (Be sure to stress the muffler thing!) It may take a few calls to get the situation resolved, but trust me, it does work. Just the little creeps who used to live and whoop it up in Party House near me. ^^

Ice Queen said...

Oops. I meant to say, Just ask the little creeps... Sorry. *blush*

Pamela E. Williams said...

I wish I didn't have to share my bed with my 3 year old niece (who sleeps wildly btw) because my pregnant sister of 2 kids already moved back into my house. I'm buying an air mattress btw tomorrow.

I wish I could come up with enough wishes to warrent an "I Wish Wednesday" post. I probaby could which leads me to....

I wish I wasn't so lazy sometimes, but I didn't get enough sleep due to the first I wish you read from me.

Pamela E. Williams said...

also I wish I would spell check before I hit the publish button, LOL.

Sandy Lee said...

I wish for you to repeat #7 over and over again until you can repeat it by rote.

Sandy Lee said...

Now I want to add--I wish you would stop un-following Debi! Too funny that your little icon disappears. She is back to 149 followers again.

Nella said...

I wish you sweet success and a whole ton of LOVE!

Nella said...

Oh yeah I also wish my kids and husband would put their SHIT away! Crap everywhere! Oooohhh, the sweet sounds of SUMMER!

Amy Schmidt said...

I wish I had found your blog sooner...I think I <3 you.

www.bandeato.blogspot.com

Scuttleboose said...

Oh, Starburst... Obviously conspiring with Skittles. And chocolate cake. And bubble tea smoothies. Well, now you know how my weekend went. :)

amandakiska said...

#2 - I call that "Stalker Calling" when someone calls over and over, but doesn't leave a message. Feel free to use this term. I think it is the only phrase I've ever coined.

Love the list! Especially the lady with the trainer.

Julie, The Accidental Fat Chick said...

I wish that pizza could be calorie free... just for a day. :)

Alexis said...

Our next door neighbor just got a new roommate and they don't have a fricken muffler on their car either and I want to throw potatoes at them every time they come down the street!

Today is my 64 ounces of water and no sugar in the form of candies, desserts, baked goods, etc day too! It's 12:45 now and only about 9 more hours to go until bed time and I don't have to think about it anymore!

1reign said...

I wish I were your next door neighbor and we could be bff's and gripe on Wednesdays together.
I wish that everything goes smoothly tomorrow and I get another surgery date that will this time be successful.

Bonnie said...

It drives me crazy when people call and don't leave a message. It also drives me crazy - more in the work setting - when someone calls and says "call me." Okay, my voicemail says "leave a detailed message" so that way when I call you back and get your voice mail I can answer your question instead of playing phone tag for days. Plucks my last nerve.

Kristin said...

Re #1: Isn't your husband a corrections officer? Seems like he could meander over there and have a chat with the young offen-, uh, man.

Kristin said...

Oh, and I wish all my utility companies would get their sh*t together. We've lost power at least a dozen times every day for the last three days, I got a robocall from the water company that they are experiencing the highest demand in 150 (!) years so we need to conserve water until July 14th and then an alarm for our septic system went off. All in the same day.

Maria said...

My next door neighbor doesn't need a muffler, but he could use new brakes. They are so freaking squeaky that every time he pulls in or out of the driveway I think a tornado is trying to tear the siding right off my house!

Catherine55 said...

I wish a lot of things right now -- but I'm glad your hilarious post made me laugh during what has been a very stressful day!

Marie said...

I love the I Wish blog! You are so creative. I too have many many wishes. I need to write them down!! :)

Jess said...

I can't believe how many of us have those lil hot-rodding annoying little bastards near our homes. My next door neighbor has no muffler on his truck either and he revs that S.O.B up every chance he gets! It sounds like a monster truck rally right outside our kitchen window! WTH is wrong with these people????? When your kids are done smearing shit over there can I borrow them next????

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