Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I Wish Wednesday...

It's I Wish Wednesday for me....this is the day where I let out everything I've been holding in for a week in my effort to remain polite and proper.  Here we go!

* I wish that I didn't get migraines.  I wish that I could figure out my trigger.  Though I have nowhere near the 68 I had last year, I still hate them.  I hate even more that the pain meds for them cost a million dollars each.  I wish I could cut my own head off on migraine days and reattach it later when it's only filled with gumdrops and rainbows.

* To the idiot with wonky eyes and fat thumbs...I wish you'd wake up and pay attention. Yes I'm talking to myself here.  What is this about you ask?  Well, I stood in the little girl's underwear dept for what seemed like forever trying to find underwear for my 4 year old.  I was trying to find the best bargain and finally settled on a package of 9 for $6.50.  I must have at one point held 15 bags of the little suckers in my hands trying to decide.  Then I decided - and went home.  I got home.  Husband opens the package and yells to me, "Um, pumpkin, I don't think these are going to fit Banana (her nickname)."  WHAT?  I so carefully picked out the ones with all her favorite colors so she wouldn't throw a fit like a 1 yr old when she saw them...how can this be?  I'm sure he's lost his mind or something.  And then he walks in.  He's holding them up and says, "These will totally fit YOU."  But but but - they're a size 4 and she's 4!!!!!!!! 

"Nu-uh - they are a size 1-4 as in 14!"  So either I'm blind or my fat thumb covered up the 1 and I thought I was buying 4s.  Needless to say - they fit me.  I am wearing little girls underwear and I feel like a pervert and I get pissed off every time I put them on.  So there.  I wish I paid more attention or had clear eyes and skinny thumbs.  Jesus.

* I wish my mother could just support - not sabotage.  Me, my sister and her are going out Friday night for a drink.  Now mind you - the drink isn't supposed to be the main attraction.  The point is we are making an effort to get together - the three of us girls - to chat.  None of us drink.  Rarely - if ever -  but when I mentioned that I would be drinking water due to the diet I'm on she flipped a bird.  She even said, "Well I'm not going then."  WHAT?  Is my company somehow not worth it based on the liquid in my cup?  Will I talk differently and laugh less if it's just water?  This from a woman who will not order a drink herself.  I finally said - listen - I'm on a detox diet - vacation is in less than 30 days and this is really important to me.  I wish that was enough. 

* I wish that on the first day of my detox diet that Rambo hadn't decided to buy cheesecurds for our 4 year old.  Are you freaking kidding me?  I should cut his balls off.  Let it be known - I did cheat - I ate 1/2 a cheesecurd.  That is it.  That's pretty damn amazing if you ask me.

* I wish that Rambo didn't feel it necessary to buy my girls a toy every time they go somewhere because they were good.  I wish they weren't wrapped around his finger.  Well actually it doesn't bother me usually except this time he bought them plastic horses.  Great.  They are so excited until the 9 year old flips hers over and realizes it has HUGE BLACK BALLS.  She dropped that thing like it was fire in her hands...and hasn't played with it since.  My mom says I should shave them off with a razor...but I can't bring myself to care that much.  I wish toy packagers would maybe have put a note on the box that said *if you're buying this for a girl - don't - it has big huge black balls on it and will scar your child forever.*

That's all I got today for you my chickens.  Oh and my update below:

Day 1 - of ODD (Operation Detox Draz) - down 3 lbs - no sugar - no caffeine (no headache even yet)!

I feel pretty great.  Even had energy to go for a bicycle ride with my girls.  I am stoked!

Day 1 for Rambo shows him down 2 lbs - no sugar - no caffeine (he probably had 3-4 pops a day!)

Weehawww!

22 comments:

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

Three pounds in one day!! On the ODD diet? WOW! One good video and it will sweep the planet!

All of those annoyances; I understand. Wish it would all be easier.

I wish it were Friday.....

Dazee Dreamer said...

loved the horse balls. that's gonna keep me smiling all day

Debbie said...

I hate buying little girls underwear. It seems like I stand in the store for hours trying to find the cutest ones with the highest quantity for the smallest price. Talk about aggravating!!!

tessierose said...

Enjoy the new panties, now Victoria isn't the only one with a secret!

Gilly said...

Little girls underpants! Tramp!

I can't give up caffeine. I would love to...and i did once when I was trying to get knocked up, but for a week I felt like I was going to die. I need my coffee. I love my coffee. No givesies upsies for this fat girl! But more power to ya!

My wish for today: I wish that all the crap I ate today and yesterday does not end up on my non-little-girl-underpants wearing ass.

Cindylew said...

I'm so with you on #1 cupcake...I can't believe you counted them last year...it never even occurred to me to count mine. My latest was Monday night and it sucked.

Pamela E. Williams said...

Horse Balls, LOL. Poor baby she will have nightmares.

Nella said...

The balls are the best!
No need to worry cause my daughter and husband have the exact same relationship. Always coming home with junk!

I wish success for you and Rambo!

Sooze said...

Yay for Wednesday! Awesome progress on the detox!!

amandakiska said...

Where the hell is your husband buying these toys at? The pornographic zoo store? What ever happened to toys being sexually neutral? You know what I mean, Ken has a "bump" but no genetalia. Barbie has ta tas, but no nipples and no chi-chi.

The CilleyGirl said...

Didn't you tell her that daddy has big black balls too?

Jacquie said...

Those size 14 panties will be falling off you in no time!

Carmen said...

dang it...now i want some cheese curds! grrrr

Scuttleboose said...

hahaha - you wear little girl undies! :-D

oh, and what the hell is a cheesecurd? Nevermind, don't tell me. Ice cream is temptation enough!

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

love the lil girl panties :) be happy you can fir in them and they didnt go to waste...though i am still chuckling at that, oh draz how on earth are you doing the detox! I wish my will power was as strong as yours :)

Amy Jo said...

You just crack me up. Ya do.
I've been reading, but not saying anything. I'd say "lurking", but that's a trendy word to use. So I won't say I was lurking.

Sometimes, important things are said and you can't help but comment.

This is one of those times.

Growing up, I once had an "anatomically correct" horse as well.

Let's just say... he became a little less correct, due to a very competent nail file. :)

Anyway, your blog kinda rocks my world. I love it!

Food Addict said...

Great job with the cheesecurds - 1/2 a cheesecurd is pretty amazing. I drink A LOT less caffine these days and I hardly ever have migranes anymore. They used to get so bad I couldn't even see. Now I'm drinking maybe two or three sodas a week - it's really helped. Although it was AWFUL getting down to that little.

My mom does the same sabotage thing. But she tells me I look great and insists I can eat whatever it is that I don't want to eat. I don't understand it at all.

Bonnie said...

Glad the ODD is going so well. As usual, so many funny things to comment on but I can't think of anything nearly funny enough to match it. So I'll go with the standby LOL :D

AmeyinIdaho said...

I really love you Draz!! You make me laugh, warm my soul, and give me hope. I really hope I can give you a real hug some day!!

AmeyinIdaho said...

And a big pat on the back for the 3 lbs down and for not eating the whole bag of cheese-curds. You rock!!

Band-Babe said...

What did you say after "deep fried cheese cake"???

;)

I love you and know you'll do a superwoman job at whatever you set your mind to.

Beth said...

You should be proud that you can fit your ass into children's size panties biatch! I literally cracked up when I read that and the cashier at Tim Horton's gave me a look ha ha!!