Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I Wish Wednesday

Hi Tootsie Pops!

I’m going back to I Wish Wednesday today. Enjoy!

  • I wish everyone had a Jenny. For realz. She’s the caffeine to my Mountain Dew, the crayon to my coloring book, the frosting to my cinnamon roll. I like her – a lot. This week Blogger got blocked where I work. Now…yes…hives and panic attacks ensued. I believe as my best friend, Jenny even suffered a sympathy panic attack for me. And today – you got it – Jenny is posting this for me….because the thought of not posting today threw me into the hugest of tizzies. I nearly peed my pants and stabbed my own eyes out. She saved me. She does that a lot. You all should get yourselves a Jenny.
  • I wish that there were more days in November. I’m finally back on track – staying under calories, working out, journaling…and I need more time before holiday parties and such begin. I’m spot on – I can tell. After doing this for so long I just know when my attitude has shifted into a success mode. And it has. And man, it feels good.
  • I wish everyone knew how creative I was. Well, you will now cuz I’m going to tell you. Yesterday I wore crème high heeled boots with fur on the top. Tucking my jeans into my socks just wasn’t keeping my jeans down like I wanted. Soooo I got out the duct tape. Yup – this hick taped her jeans tight around her ankles and created my own sort of skinny jeans in oh…about 20 seconds flat. Worked like a charm. At least 4 people complimented my boots – and do you know how badly I wanted to rip them off and show them the duct tape handiwork underneath? Bad, I tell you. But I resisted.
  • I wish every business was feeling the success we are. We won another multi-million dollar project Friday which means by this Friday I have to take an empty space and fit it with everything 30 people need to make it a functioning office….from furniture to pens to electronics to laptops to toilet paper. Top to bottom. We are out of space. We have bodies and no chairs. We have employees with no desks. We cannot find enough people. And it stresses me the f*ck out. There’s nothing to do but rise to the challenge. And trust me – that’s my plan.
  • I wish I knew what I wanted for my next tattoo. Rambo is getting a full back tattoo soon. He keeps saying that finally he’ll have a back tattoo bigger than mine. Between you and me – and all of blogland – I’m jealous. And I’m working on a plan to fix that.
  • I wish I had a housekeeper. Like for freaking real. With all the jobs and school functions and groups and working long hours here, the dust bunnies are multiplying and well, taking over the house. I might start charging them rent – then I can afford the housekeeper.
  • Speaking of affording – this month – next week actually - I’m going to ask for a raise for one of the PT jobs. I’m 99% sure I’ll get it but that evil witch Self-Doubt keeps creeping in and telling me I don’t deserve it. She’s the second cousin of Drazil and she’s good at what she does. I’m scerred to ask. But dammit – I’m going to do it. I earned it. They all know it and now I just have to convince myself.
  • I wish everyone had Earthly Harmony by Mac fingernail polish like Carmen wore in Chicago. I got it – and love it. I’d dry hump it if it wasn’t such a small bottle. To die for. It’s a little bit of Carmen with me every day…and you just can’t beat that.
And I’ll leave you with this little conversation I had with Rambo before I left for work this morning. Totally not funny to anyone but me. But I never want to forget how happy it made me so I’m writing it down here.

This is how it went down. Last night he started snoring. After punching him numerous times, I thought I’d try another approach. With my voice dripping with honey, I said, “Sweetie, could you please turn over?” Now mind you – he’s sleeping – deeply. So he gets huffy and says, “I wasn’t even G*ddamn snoring.”

Okay – first of all – Rambo never says *that* swear word. It’s like the mother of all words right? I hate it. It’s almost as bad as the “C” word. I brush it off because um – did I mention he was sleeping and has no idea what he said?

This morning I’m of course secretly wondering if he’ll remember – and I quickly think not by the way he’s not allowing me to get out of bed.

So Rambo has an interview this morning. I was leaving and I said, “Have a good G*ddamn interview. Travel safe G*ddamn it.” He laughs and says, “G*ddamn it, I will honey. Want to have some G*ddamn sex tonight?” I say, “No G*ddamn it.” To which he replies only, “Well, just plain G*ddamn. That sucks.”

So there you have it – my “have a good day at work” conversation before 7am – and enough of the almightiest swear word to get us both an express ticket to Hell. Ack – I want to wash my own mouth out with soap – but I had to prove my point right? Don’t get huffy with me and say the GD word – I don’t care if you’re sleeping or dead. I hate that word.

Later gumdrops!


Corletta said...

Oh how I have missed your blog! By the way...I, too, am in it to win! I, too, can tell!!! By the way, Jenny sounds like a great friend!

Blossom said...

Lol, that idea of duct taping your pants is pretty creative actually! I might have to borrow that from you!

tessierose said...

Love me some Draz!!!

nikki said...

If you have a newer version of Microsoft Office, you can actually post via WORD :) Just sayin'. BTW, the boots sounds AHH-SUM!

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

Too funny!

Dizzy Girl said...


I only own one pair of skinny jeans and wear them everyday. I thought about it yesterday- maybe I should buy another pair of jeans? They are coming apart at the seams- literally.

I too am on a rampage and 'trying' to see results (scale said same thing today- GRRRRR)

I wish I had a Jenny and a housekeeper too- all of that needs no explanation as to why. Duh.

I have been thinking about a tattoo to cover up another tattoo (really just another excuse to get a larger tattoo) for awhile now...but get stuck at the "what" part too...

I want a raise too. I asked for one last month. The answer is "still up in the air at this point." Not sure what that means. So if I don't know soon...well...then maybe I'll keep looking at new jobs. TAKE THAT!

I never say GD either.

ILYGTD and hope your day is fabulous toooooo!!!!


Kristin said...

Love the Jenny workaround for those annoying IT people. Stick it to the man, Draz! xoxo

The Ninja said...

Wait...don't you poop gumdrops? Does your farewell mean you are calling us all turds, or was it farts? :0)

Ms. M said...

Oh I'm so glad you're back to I Wish Wednesdays... I've missed them. And thank goodness for Jenny to post on your behalf, days would be "empty" without you. :)

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

Love Jenny and I am so glad she is your BF! And yes we all deserve a BF like her.

Bonnie said...

I love the morning conversation between you and Rambo. Reminds me of something my hubby and I would do. I checked out the MAC Earthly Harmony polish and I was going to buy it, but I'd have to sell off one of my kids to pay for it so I decided to pass - for now. Geez - that stuff is pricey, but sounds like it's worth it. Think I'll put on my list for Santa.

MrsFatass said...

Yep. I SO need a Jenny.

And if we can ever bring ourselves to talk again, I can talk you through the scheduling snafus. And? I'll email you links to the best posts of the day and you can read them on your BB.

Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

LOL! Love it!