Wednesday, December 1, 2010

1 through 10....

I need to do a couple of shout-outs, announcements, vents, etc. and such. Bear with me.

First off – I called Joey a prostitute. Like for realz – to her face – well her cyber face anyway. I literally told her that she was like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman who costs $100 an hour. I mean is that tactful or what? For the record – I think Joey is way hotter than Julia Roberts…and I’d seriously pay $100 an hour for Joey. No questions asked.

Also – Jenny and I – well we’re kind of obsessed with nails. One time when I visited Jenny, she wanted to get acrylics like me and we were driving along some road and saw a tiny sign that said, “Nails and painted rocks – call now!” And we did. Um, yes, now sure – we should have maybe wondered why anyone who does nails also paints rocks but come on…we’re all about giving someone a chance. Wowser. I forgot to mention we are perfectionists of the worst kind about our nails. I’m not sure why we get them done cuz we just pick them apart when we’re done.

We sat at that woman’s place for I swear two hours at least. And the entire time we were giving each other “the look” that said everything. Mainly – what the hell have we done?

Anywhoozle – my point is this. We are obsessed. When we have acrylics – we discuss, repaint, compare, and discuss some more. Right now we both have our natural nails – because we’re twins and secondly because it was time for a break from the acrylics.

Do all of you follow Ice Queen? She rocks the boat man. She has a nail blog and it’s to freaking die for. Jenny and I have questions…like how does IQ get her nails so strong and long? What products does she use to get them that way? What’s the best healer product to use after you take acrylics off? So IQ – this is officially me – calling you out! I need your expert answers….and so does Jenny!

Let’s see – third of all – I just want to say “Where did Carmie go?”

Fourth – oh Dizzy. D is my little buttercup and I love her and she recently completed 43 days without sugar. I mean who knew that was even possible right? She’s having trouble staying “sober” and she’s struggling like we all do. I’d love it if you went over there and told her just how rock star 43 days truly is.

Fifth – Barbara….just go read her blog and please even if you don’t/can’t/won’t comment – please send up a prayer or two for her and be grateful every day for your health if you have it.

Sixth – um no shout out this time. I’m just gonna say this. I have a running date with a friend. We’re going to run the halls at school. I’m scerred but man – everything in me wants to say I’m a runner again. I was never so healthy or happy than when I used to run 5 miles a day. My anxiety is already finding excuses to cancel – but I swear to God I won’t do it. There is absolutely no reason on Earth that I shouldn’t go tonight and when I’m done – I’ll be proud. I can do it.

Seventh – again – no shout out. I need to vent this quickly. Men have NO tact. Rambo sent me an EMAIL – yes an EMAIL – that simply said, “I was assaulted by a prisoner today. I’m writing up the report now.” WTF? Are you serious???? Can you imagine if I wrote an email like that? Sometimes I want to go into prison work just so for one second he can feel the worry I do for him so he knows what it’s like. Jesus, Mary and Joseph – and St. Peter too.

Apparently Rambo was going to do a cell search, put an inmate in cuffs and the inmate was hoarding food and trying to eat it all before Rambo went in so when Rambo put him in cuffs, the inmate pulled his hands and Rambo’s back in – thereby smashing his fingers. He’s fine obviously. Pictures of his hand taken. Report filed. Inmate will be charged with battery. Done. But thank you for the heart attack Rambo. Good God in heaven.

Eighth – my friend Mrs. Fatass is getting on a plane to be in a race. Like a real plane. One that flies in the sky. Up in the air. Ugh – I can barely type the words without throwing up. And now I’m covered in hives. Thank you MF. I just want to say – have fun, be well, and rock that race baby. Can’t wait to hear about it when you return.

Ninth – while I know many of you hate the Biggest Loser show – I’m going to go on record saying I love it. It’s my guilty pleasure and I’m pretty sure I’ve never missed an episode. It motivates me. Sure, some of the tactics are odd and the ads are annoying but I can’t help it. This girl loves some BL. And last night – during a Jillian moment with one of the contestants – I had an epiphany. Something in that moment hit me – hard. I shall blog about it soon. I’m just saying – inspiration comes in the strangest moments – when you’re not even looking.

Tenth – I have nothing to say here. I just can’t stand odd numbers so I couldn’t end with nine. Oh and folks – I seriously farted gumdrops today. Black jelly beans are for wussies. And Draz and Sheniqua can kiss my left knee. 30 days left in 2010…and I’m going to finish strong.

Peace out homies…until tomorrow.


MrsFatass said...

Look at you all spunky. I like it.

And yes. Plane. Strangers. Strangers who know me and want to meet me. And did I mention Vegas? Sparkle and glitz. Um. OVERSTIMULATION.

If nobody hears from me by Tuesday, somebody come in after me. Yikes.

Dizzy Girl said...

I love you Draz! Thanks for the shout out. You sound happy today- I'm happy too. Maybe I should go post about it now before someone reads yesterdays struggle.



tessierose said...

Love it!

Bonnie said...

I'm still a BL fan. Even with it's faults, I still love watching the physical and emotional transformations.

Oh and I'll see your $100 for Joey and raise you $20. :)

Tricia said...

Enjoy your hall running!

LDswims said...

You should tell Rambo that one of your blog-stalkers said "not cool, dude!" Seriously, what's up with an email that's just enough to cause panic but not enough to dispel that same panic.

Ugh. Men!

Enjoy your running!

Blossom said...

Men can be so clueless! He probably thought he was being a good husband, letting you know. But just dropping a bomb like that without any further wonder you shit your pants! I also love having my nails did and love my acrylics...I keep them short because of my work and am gonna try something funky for the holidays next time!

Ice Queen said...

I am also a BL fan. And I shouted and my fist shot in the air the moment Brenden went below the red line. Way to get rid of that arrogant jerk. Too bad both Frado and Patrick weren't also below the yellow line. If I hear Patrick brag about "winning a car" one more time, there will be plasma splashed all over my living room, because I swear, I am going to throw something at my TV!!! He didn't win the frakking car! ADA GAVE IT TO HIM!!

*calming down, now*

Draz, I did a tab page on my nail care routine, just for you. It is at the top of my nail blog in tabs. It's been there for a while, now. :D

amandakiska said...

Love you!

Lanie Painie said...

I like BL too. Jillian needed to give that talk weeks ago. I'm hoping that contestant is the winner!

Stephanie said...

Carmen started her new job, so I give her a pass for being a little MIA, plus she can only read and not comment on her phone. Sorry to hear about rambo, but I'm glad he is ok!!!

LauraLynne said...

love me some biggest loser!! can't wait to hear your epiphany!!

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

1. I love BL too. I think you're going to have to stop being so general in hating on us all. It's not me. I SWEAR! I love it!

2. Oatmeal.

3. I agree. Men. So inconsiderate. I mean Mr. Survival keeps telling me yes just so he doesn't have to tell me no. But really? I just want him to tell me no, so I CAN DO IT RIGHT.

5. I think your story takes the cake on inconsiderate men.

10. I'm too tired for this. ;) xoxo

MandaPanda said...

SO glad to hear some spunk in your "voice" again! First, I'd kill Rambo for making me worry like that and second, I wish I had the money to keep up with getting my nails done. I bite them so they never look pretty. I know, I know...just need to break the habit.

Amy W. said...

mmhmm...I know which moment you are talking about with Jillian. I look forward to your post. Usually when I am staring at Jillian and her pretty hair and nice arms...I am having a thought or two myself...and apparently end up drooling at the tv and sometimes even let a noise slip out...which then gets me punched in the arm by Heather.

good times.

Joey said...

Hahahaha! A bargain at that price, I assure you!!

Jess said...

I know you are talking about Jillian talking to Ada about nothing being good enough for her parents! Her parents royally piss me off and when they didn't send her a video or show up for her makeover week I could literally plant my foot straight up all of their asses for that shit!!!! Boils my blood.

Glad you are back to gum drops again! :)