Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bullets a-plenty.

Sorry for being a bit MIA...it's crazy around these parts!  Prepare for the bullets my friends...it's that kind of day!!

*  One step forward - two steps back - in regards to my facing my social fears.  I had some steps forward and blogged about them and then Friday I went shopping alone.  I was checking out and about 5 lanes over so was the President of the company I work for.  He's a great guy, we're friends...he's easy to talk to.  But I hid.  Turned my head so he couldn't see me.  Then hid behind a candy bar display.  I knew nothing about what was going on around me except where he was and if he could see me.  I even knew it was ridiculous and tried to ask myself, "What would happen if he saw me?"...but I kept hiding.  He never saw me. 

One store later I was about 7 feet away from my sister-in-law...I ducked into an aisle before she saw me.  Yes, folks...turns out I'm a chicken shit and my social anxiety won that day. Sometimes I can fight it - sometimes I don't want to and sometimes I just can't.

*  I sleep with ear plugs lately because Rambo snores like a banchee.  Now we play the fun game every night of "Find Draz's teeny tiny earplugs in this huge bedroom."  Are they under the pillow?  On the nightstand?  On the floor?  Under the blankets? 

Well none of the above.  Turns out Rambo stepped on one - thereby pushing it into the floor vent where it landed.  Hence Rambo and I are on all fours staring into a floor vent when both our girls walk in and say, "What the heck are you guys doing?"  Jesus...we don't even know. 

*  Lately I want to kill my mother-in-law.  Like not only in my dreams - but when I'm awake too.  Daycare issues AND now get this?  I gave her a pair of Harley D@avidson sweat pants that cost $60 that I've never worn to possibly hem them and SHE LOST THE MOTHER-EFFERS.  Yes - that's right - I brought out the MF word.  They were a gift from Rambo and I mean what the holy hell?  How does a person who never leaves the house lose something that was in the house?  Seriously - I can't keep writing about this...it makes my stomach burn.

* Also...I'm pretty sure there's some unknown rule in the world of kids that says they must behave the worst they have all year just a few days before Christmas comes so that I can scream, "Keep it up or Santa isn't coming!" 50 freaking times every hour until the damn day of Christmas comes.  I swear - I'm going to give every one of their presents to kids in Ethiopia if this keeps up.  Honestly.

* I have something going on every night this week - AFTER work.  We all know how well that goes.  I spend the whole day mentally preparing.  Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  Board meetings, concerts, volunteering, family parties.  All of it gives me hives and makes me want to hide in a closet like ET did.

* I bought these boots.  I call them my "I'm in denial about almost turning 40 and want to pretend I'm hot and in my 20's" boots.  You like?  I figure if nothing else I can stand on the street corner and turn tricks and get my money back right?

Mmkkaayyy...that's all I got...cuz my brain is shot.  Love you my Skittles.

15 comments:

tessierose said...

I would have to sit to turn tricks in those boots, too high, too skinny to cha cha for an old gal like me....I think you can pull them off just fine! Merry Christmas. Keep it up and Santa won't come!! (It's the curse of motherhood, doomed to say the same things to our kids that our mothers said to us!"

Jen said...

OMG - How can we be BFF's and be so opposite? I'm wearing UGGS all winter! I'd break my neck in those things. I bet Rambo is looking forward to seeing you in them!

blither blather said...

there is NO WAY you can hide and duck in aisles with those boots and people not turn and stare! mercy gurhlllll....!!!! totally fierce!

Dazee Dreamer said...

omg. I go out of my way too to not talk to people I know when I'm out shopping. I don't blame you one bit.

Jess said...

haha I hide from people too but I just don't like most people. :)

Earplugs? That's a damn good idea! Why didn't I ever think of that?

Those boots are sizzling!!!! Sexy Bitch!

LDswims said...

I love those boots!

I was telling hubby on the way to work this morning...I want a night off. Parked on the couch doing nothing night off. I'm ready to chill!

Read said...

First of all - "MOTHER-EFFERS" does not count as bringing out the MF word. It's close - but not quite.

2nd - Man, I hate this time of year for all the extra stuff that has to happen. I would be much happier of all the end of year, and holiday, and whatever else they want to call it, events could be spread out nicely throughout the year. I'm sorry you're not getting any time to breathe right now!

3rd - Just be happy you and Rambo weren't naked on the floor while looking for the earplugs when the girls came in wondering what was going on... unless, maybe you were...

4th - You go girl, with those boots!!! Next time Rambo needs a little thanks - I'd recommend his favorite nightie and the boots - or maybe just the boots...

amandakiska said...

Cute boots!

My kids are acting up too. Tis the season!

MandaPanda said...

Love the boots! That sucks about your mother in law. It definitely is that time of year for demented children. I don't know what's gotten in to mine lately. Hang in there!

Ice Queen said...

Those boots are something else. I think I kind of like them. Wouldn't wear them, but they are fun to look at. :D

How does hooking with social anxiety work, exactly? "Hey Baby, wanna date? No you don't!" ;)

Sorry about your sweats. Perhaps it is time to learn to sew? Hemming is supereasy! Seriously. Hemming a pair if sweats should take well under an hour, even by hand.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

My MIL makes me pull out the MF word too. I can't help it. It is just the effect she has on me. I love the boots. Could never wear them though because I would land on my ass every time I tried to stand up in them. Heels and I don't do well. I can't even imagine going out to an event every night this week. Hell, I can't even imagine being able to go to a JOB every day for ONE WEEK A YEAR. I don't do social situations well, including a work environment. I've tried so many times and eventually the stress of just SEEING PEOPLE and having them SEE ME gets to be too much and I have to hide for a while. The only social even we have planned is for New Year's Eve and it is at a place that isn't too rowdy and the tables are far enough apart not to make my claustrophobic. I have plenty of time to mentally prepare for it and I'm sure I will enjoy it. Besides that, I'm going to to enjoy the comfort and solitude of my own home.

Building Blocks Bootcamp said...

I love your honesty and your blog!
I think I really fell in love at the boots section - wayyyyyy HOT!

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

Sexy ass Boots! Love them, and its not so much a step back but a side step! Your doing amazing Draz

Dizzy Girl said...

I bought boots too. :) But you already know that. We're on the same wavelength- swear! I know you can get through the social stuff Draz- you CAN. Take a deep breath, get a xanax (or two) and handle biz like a champ. That's what I try to do (minus the xanax...but I would take it if I had some).

Love you and miss your face-

xoxo-

D

Sarah Williams said...

I have been a follower of your blog for awhile but haven't ever commented, I love your blogs and how honest you are. I am on my journey of losing weight and can relate in some of the ways you speak about food. I had gastric bypass in June and have started my journey. Just wanted to drop by and say hi!