Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Buttwads and flip switching.

Hello nuggets…’s Wednesday and I’m still farting gumdrops and pissing rainbows here in Care Bear land….and I just have to say….

Some people are real buttwads. The other day in the grocery store, I was in the sugar aisle (I was simply smelling and touching sugar – not buying it in case you’re wondering). There was this cutest little old lady and she picked up a bag of Nutrasweet and put it in her cart. No big deal right?

Wrong. According to Mrs. Buttwad in the same aisle anyway.

I heard Mrs. Buttwad in her oh so arrogant, I know it all voice say, “Nutrasweet causes cancer” as she looked down upon us mere mortals in the aisle with her.

The little old lady was scared. Her eyes got really big. She kept saying, “but my husband is a diabetic. Why do doctors recommend sugar substitutes like this if they cause cancer?” The Buttwad rudely said, “Because the doctors are stupid and don’t give people any other options so they just do it.”

Why yes – that’s a known fact isn’t it? Doctors are stupid aren’t they? Them with their fancy 25 years of schooling and high IQs and their ability to save lives every day. (yes I’m aware that not all docs are great – I’m generalizing)

The little old lady continued to be scared – thinking she was going home to feed her husband cancer pellets.

I wanted to slap the Buttwad. If Nutrasweet caused cancer like cigarettes did there’d have to be a surgeon general’s warning on them. And yes folks, I’m aware they could find out down the road that it does cause cancer. And yes, I’m aware of all the research that says how bad artificial sweeteners are for you. I get all that BUT who is this Buttwad? Does she have a medical degree? What gives her the right to scare the hell out of an uninformed old lady?

I’m sorry – I have my opinions and I’m passionate about them – but the minute I spew them at perfect strangers in a grocery store when they didn’t ask for them and I try to cram them down their throats anyway – I just look like a fool. I guess this is a why I’m a research junkie. When Buttwads like this approach me – you can bet your ass I want to be informed enough to either agree or disagree.

This little old lady wasn’t informed….she was just scared….of the possible cancer pellets. And the Buttwad was to blame. I wanted to kick her and her haughty ass into a vat of Nutrasweet.

Moving on.

My diet is going guh-rate! Seriously – I’m eating fruit like it’s the nectar of the Gods and staying under my 1200 calories like lightening will strike if I don’t. I have worked out every day for an hour. I have begun my preventive migraine meds. I am journaling.

For me – it’s all about flipping the switch. I always know when I suddenly want it bad enough. It’s that “rock bottom” thing people talk about. While I hate rock bottoms – for me they are a necessary evil. People always say once you hit rock bottom – the only place to go then is up. I think that’s donkey caca.

I could easily stay at rock bottom. Stop caring. Go off meds. Eat sugar like it’s water. Sleep all day. You know – make rock bottom a career.

But that’s not who I am or who I want to be. While rock bottom spurs me to want to climb the ladder to get back to the top – I know it’s definitely not a place I want to stay in.

Rock bottom for me happened this weekend when I had a party to go to. I shopped all day for a shirt to wear (99% of them didn’t fit) and bought one I sort of liked. Come party time I put it on and just looked like a woman trying to cover up fat rolls. I was pretty close to not going – ever so close to tears. It’s the first time in a really long time that a reason I didn’t want to go was because I felt overweight and non-sexy. Usually it’s just mind/social anxiety and physically at least I feel I look okay….but not this time.

And then the doc called to say my bad cholesterol was bad and my good cholesterol wasn’t good either. Shitballs.

Enter rock bottom. Flip the switch.

I’m back with a vengeance. I can feel the ache inside to get back to the top. I felt the burn inside when I was running last night – wanting to stop – and not allowing myself to….knowing I could do at least 5 more minutes and another 5 and another 5. I started caring again – about my health and myself – in a way I haven’t in a while.

It is a choice. A minute by minute choice to follow the path to health.

It’s a choice to give up an hour with Rambo when I only have 3 (awake) hours a night to see him to begin with.
It’s a choice to give up an hour with my girls when I only have 3 (awake) hours a night to see them.
It’s a choice to let go of my part time work that is waiting to be done upstairs.
It’s a choice to not sit and read blogs.
It’s a choice to do this for me.

It is a choice. A minute by minute choice to follow the path to healthy.

And I’m going to make it. Because I’m worth it.

Are you?


Amy W. said...

I am not sure why some people feel the need to offer their opinion to complete strangers. It is the oddest thing to me. It is sort of how I feel about religion. If we are having and intelligent conversation about religion, and I am trying to learn your beliefs...share away. Otherwise, don't just come out of nowhere when I am renting movies from the Redbox and TALK TO ME (wooo...can you tell what happened when I was renting movies from the Redbox this weekend?)

Karen Butler Ogle said...

A short comment about artificial sweeteners before I finish reading the rest of the post. If you look closely at any study that suggests any artificial sweetener causes cancer you will find that the study was done covertly, under companies and researchers funded by the sugar industry. I guess asswad lady didn't mention the cancer risks you have with obesity and diabetes? Idiot. Now I'll finish reading... :)

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Good for your for flipping the switch Drazil. I think that point comes for all of us at different points in our lives. I became a recluse, because I was ashamed of my weight. Even now that the weight is mostly gone, the feeling of panic when people look at me, notice me, still linger. We can do so much damage to ourselves when out focus is on what other people think of us. I think we could all use a healthy dose of "I don't give a fuck. I'm going to go out when I want to and anyone who doesn't like it can get out of my way. " We all have just as much right to be out in the world living as anyone else. We also have the right to be judged on our merits and not on our weight and appearance. You go, Draz. Get out there and tell the world to go to hell if you need to. This is about you and living your life. Not about what others might think. Hugs!

MandaPanda said...

You're better than me...I'd have to give that buttwad a piece of my mind right in the middle of that store! Seriously...what is wrong with people?!?! Sounds like you've been doing great this week! Keep it up!

Sooze said...

Oh Draz I do so love you!

Dawnya said...

Go Girl!! You making that choice to take it minute by minute to a healthier you is awesome!! You are going to acheive your goal!! You are going to kick fat (Sheniqua's) in the ass!!

Jess said...

I hate nosy ass people. Mind your own business AssWad! Ugh! Especially when it comes to the elderly. Hell they know death is knocking on the door all the time and this chick wants to add cancer scares to it??? WTF?

I am proud of you Draz! Fight the good fight and keep winning! Flip that switch!

Nella said...


Ms. M said...

Shame on that buttwad witch! There should be a rule against scaring little old ladies.

Glad you have flipped the switch! Loves you! :)

Sandy Lee said...

Too funny. I guess the moral of the story is to stay out of the Sugar aisle. Now if I had been the little ol' lady, I would have had a few sweet words for that Cancer spouting bimbo, using my fav word. BTW, I taught a class and we did presentations on Nutrasweet-no, no, no research actually says it can actually cause cancer. I stopped because I found it made me want sweets even more. And that is supported by research. That know-it-all probably left the store and lit up a cigarette in her car (with a bunch of little kids breathing in the tar).

Glad the switch is flipped. I'm getting there. Really.

~ Darla ~ said...

Mmmm, nectar of the Gods, indeed it is. Love my fruit. Glad your switch has flipped and everything is going well. Don't you think that people should MYOB sometimes - especially the self-righteous ones.

Dizzy Girl said...

I need you to get your ass over here and flip my switch please. Cause I can't find it under this tub of lard called my belly. Officially hit a five pound gain this morning. WHAT THE HELL.

Dude- I've been on fire lately. If that ass said something to me while I was picking up the nutrasweet, I would've thrown a box at her and told her to shut her damn mouth. I got pulled over by a cop tonight and mouthed off twice. He let me go- that has NEVER happened before. I kept telling myself to shut up, but for some reason I couldn't shut up. It's this damn GRE...

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Hey, Drazil. I just wanted to stop by and let you know I have a blog award for you over on my blog. COngratulations. I love your blog. You can stop by anytime to pick it up. Hugs. :)