Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The creature...named Lily.

• After the morning of crabfest 2011 yesterday, I allowed myself to continue into anger and grouchfest afternoon 2011. I went from pity party central to angry town in what seemed like split seconds. It is quite possible that learning that Rambo would have to pull a double shift at the prison meaning the girls and I would not even see his face on Valentine’s Day may have set me off…but I’ll never admit that. After all, Valentine’s is just a number – 2-14….right? Right. Although I’m guessing Hallmark and the flower stores may beg to differ with me.

• My little girls got a few flowers from their sitter yesterday. As most normal people would do, as soon as we got home they wanted to put said flowers into a cup of water. As any non-normal, non-mother of the year would do – I said no. Come on – they each had one flower. The kitties would knock over each glass in a second flat and we’d have water on the floor, tears, wilted flowers and even more pissed off Mommy. As I sat down to get undressed, the 5 year old popped into my room and said in her most unforgiving tone, “Thanks a lot for the dead flowers, Mom.”

And she stomped off. I do believe I’ve just been word-whipped by a 5 year old.

Happy Effing Valentine’s Day.

• I decided the day might suck and all but I regained some composure when I decided I was going to work out even with the stick firmly planted up my ass. I ran my ample stick-filled ass off. 75 minutes on the treadmill and MY GOD – if I didn’t have kids – I’d have run for another 75 minutes. It felt that good. It was one of those times when it came easy, it wasn’t hard and I was drenched in sweat and I was loving it. I did not want to stop.

You see – for me – on the treadmill I am really who I am at my core.

Strong. Independent. Self-sufficient. Un-stressed. Powerful.

I make my own choices about time and speed and distance. I watch what I want on TV. I don’t have to talk. I don’t have to be in a certain mood because it’s politically correct. I don’t have to look nice. I don’t have to be a professional. I don’t have to be a business woman. I don’t have to be a mother, a wife, a sister, or a friend. All that is required of me on there is to move.

It allows me to be me – in my truest form. And on days like yesterday when I feel like I’ve lost myself – the treadmill is a Godsend. I want to sleep on the sucker. For realz.

• Alas – I did get off the treadmill. I cooked supper like moms do. I had no appetite after running so hard so unfortunately I ended the day at a little over 300 calories. Whatever. I did some work, I helped Watermelon with her homework and I lost my mind in stupid reality TV. I went to bed alone….back to being pissed at the world. *sigh*

• Why pissed again you ask? Wellll let me tell you. I mentioned our state is in a huge state of unrest – political unrest. People are up in arms. Rallies and riots are planned. Strikes, decertification of unions, layoffs…..all those nasty words are being slung around as commonly as the word “the”. It is a scary time. Which leads to my pissy-ness because that “unrest” is being spread all throughout Facebook. Holy crap – I can barely read people’s non-factual, uneducated posts. People are reacting based on emotions and not facts and it’s troubling.

The last straw? My first cousin wrote this on her status. “If I have deleted you – it’s because your political views piss me off.” My brothers who are both VERY into politics commented something like “way to keep an open mind cousin”…..and she promptly deleted them. First cousins. Just like that. Done and done.

You could argue it’s a simple deletion but we all know that FB deletions carry meaning. Dumb, but true. Won’t family Cmas be fun? Oy.

• Lastly, I would like to say that my 5 year old has turned over a new leaf in the drama department. She used to be the mellow, go with the flow kid and now? Well, she has become her mother. While I was on the treadmill she came downstairs with big red puffy eyes and a pouty lip and she said, “Mom, there is a bug in my room. Please get it out.”

Being the heroic mother I am, I say, “No problem…as soon as I come upstairs I will.” She goes back upstairs.

When I get up there, I have forgotten about the bug but she has definitely not. She STILL has puffy red eyes and she says, “Mom – I am not going back into my room until you get that creature out of there.”

Creature? When did a tiny bug become a creature? Holy crap – I better go find this thing. By the sounds of it we could be dealing with the Loch Ness monster or something.

We go in and I find out it’s a ladybug after she describes it to me. Of course, it is nowhere to be found. She asks all the important questions like, “Does it bite? Will it grow? Is it mean?”

I say no no no and I can tell she thinks I’m lying through my teeth until I, the almighty mother of the day, remember what is on my feet! I have ladybugs tattooed on my feet. How can a ladybug be dangerous if Mommy has them on her feet? I tell her this – she is visibly relieved. I tell her the ladybug is gone – somewhere else in the house by now.

A few minutes later I am cooking and I hear her yelling, “Lily, here Lily” and looking everywhere.

Oh yah – you guessed it. She has now named the creature Lily and we must find her so she can become our pet. She won’t stop yelling Lily and looking for the damn thing.

That is until I tell her that Lily is in the light fixture with her other “dead” relatives. She went up there for the heat and she loves it there. Light fixture paradise….made for creatures like Lily. (See? There is actually a good reason not to clean a few dead ladybugs out of your light fixture.)

Drama over.

Now do you wonder why I’m exhausted? Can you believe I accomplish all this AND fart gumdrops?

I know, I know. I even amaze myself sometimes.

19 comments:

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

lol. Draz kids never cease to amaze me. My older son used to bring misc creatures in the house and we would play where is it. But it will be ok. Lots of love

Pamela E. Williams said...

Wow!! Amazing drama. Stuff that tv shows are made of.

Dawnya said...

Okay..I thought my kids were the only ones who were made to entertain. My daughter is a drama queen at 2...and I love every minute of it.

Shannon said...

and i want to have kids in a year lol what am i getting myself into! :/

Beth Ann said...

Hee hee.

Jen from Oregon said...

I'm so glad you find release with your time on the treadmill! I have not found my "outlet" yet. Wishing you better days ahead!

Laurie said...

Oh, poor Lily :)

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Draz, If Dail had to pull a double of Valentine's Day I would have pitched a major FIT. I'm not one for celebrating special days on days other than the actual DAY. Once it is gone, it is gone to me. Dail did have to work late though and that gave me a little time to prepare for him to come home. I hope Rambo makes it up to you somehow. You have every reason to feel as you do. I would have been livid and inconsolable.

Kristina said...

I know its prob bad to say, but I love that I can have a bad day and come to your blog and laugh my head off. I know its prob not a good thing since your having a bad day, but you always lighten my mood! Hope the day ended better!

Read said...

Oh Geez! The drama! I'm glad it's not just at my house. It's my 10 year old - if we don'to hear a few times a week some version of "Thanks for the dead flowers" our lives are just not complete. Usually this is accompanied by hands on hips and a sad yet determined face. Poor, poor boy, I'm not sure how he goes on from one day to another.

Band Groupie said...

Catching up here...sorry about V.D. Your girls are so cute (like their mamma).

I think you have a crossover addiction (food to exercise), and I need for you to come and cough on me ;-)

Love ya!

Sarah Williams said...

LOL Love the ladybug story too cute and funny!

Lanie Painie said...

Dude, your cuzn is a freakity freak freak. Delete her ass. You'll gain and unbelievable feeling of power that will last approximately a milisecond. lol


Give Lily my love. Stay pissy. I kinda like you this way!

Barbara said...

I got a little candy heart that I will be more than happy to share with you (they are dove chocs).. if that will put a smile on that sweet loving you!!.. you know the Rambo loves you to pieces.. its a date on the calendar.. he loves you through and through..

I dont do politics.. cause none of it matters in my new life..

However, I do love the Lily story.. glad you are capturing this in your blog.. some days your girls will look back and smile.. hugs Draz

Bonnie said...

Aren't ladybugs lucky? I heard that somewhere.

Joey said...

Ummm....could you be grumpy from only 300 calories?

I love the days when workouts are effortless! I try to remember those days when they are effortful.

xoxo

MizFit said...

what is UP with our five year olds?!
we have that up in herre too.

lordy the DRAMA.

Anonymous said...

I don't usually comment, but the part about the flowers made me a little sad...One cup of water for two flowers means your kids are happy on Valentines Day. Kind of a no brainer...

LDswims said...

Too funny!

But seriously. EAT!

And you were wise to not do the cups of water. Your daughters were shown love just in the act of receiving the flowers and that's what it's all about. That's the no-brainer!

(I think the pissy-ness is contagious!) :)