Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Moments.

Moments.


Really – is there ever a more powerful word?

I read the blog of a dear friend this morning. Her heart is breaking and her life is at a turning point and I think she’s on the cusp of some huge life-changing decisions….but until it all comes in to play – she has moments to get her through. And even though her heart is breaking she has the ability to close her eyes and remember the perfect moments – that got her to this place she’s in now. The moments that taught her that all anyone on this Earth ever really searches for is moments. Snapshots in time. Mental pictures of what we see, hear, smell, taste and touch.

Moments are powerful enough to carry us through the other moments when it feels like it hurts to breathe.

And then I think of Barb – and I think of true loss and I think of moments. Moments in time are what Barb has of her husband. Those moments from the past will break her heart sometimes and at other times they’ll be the reason she is able to keep on living. In the midst of this tragedy, there have been certain moments that I know Barb will never forget – and each moment has molded and shaped Barb into the person she is today.

Every moment is hers. Life nor death can take those moments from her. Not ever.

Then my mind turns to happier moments. Simple moments. Unexpected moments.

Like yesterday. I needed a break. I needed a laugh. And you all know I don’t say I need anything out loud. I don’t ask for help. And I don’t pick up the phone. Ever.

But I did. My mind thought of Jenny, my best friend, and I knew it was what I needed. About 30 minutes of “moments” and my life that felt off the tracks before talking, felt back on the tracks afterwards.

Did we talk about earth shattering things? Nope.

We had moments. Serious moments about parenting and life and careers. Funny moments about Nancy Pelosi and our crazy families. Moments of laughter and giggling. Moments of not so great moments before we met each other. Just moments. Pure and simple, from the heart, unexpected moments on a Tuesday – that touched my heart – and became a treasured memory I’ll think about later and forever.

That is Jenny and I – moments – that are completely genuine without even trying to be.

Then after I got home from work, I got a phone call. Not a good moment. The man that works at the plant for my PT job has lost his wife. Just literally weeks ago they diagnosed her with liver and lung cancer. Weeks – and now she is gone.

I’m in my home with my two beautiful children and in another home just a mile down the road – family is gathered – reliving moments they’d do anything to get back. Hating moments like when their mother took her last breath. Anticipating moments like her funeral with dread and fear.

That’s the thing – no matter the moments everyone is facing – the world continues to turn. It never stops – regardless of your moment.

Rambo worked from 2pm to 11pm last night doing SWAT training. An odd night shift but the perfect opportunity for a moment. I stayed up until I knew he was off – though I was exhausted. To call and say, “Drive safe, hurry home, I love you. I didn’t do the dishes.”

To which he responded, “Baby, get your cute ass to sleep right now, I’m coming home to you, I love you. Don’t worry…I’ll do the dishes.”

Another moment. Another couple of words. Mere seconds at 11pm on a Tuesday. Our moment.

A moment enough to let me peacefully fall asleep. A moment I’m sure I’ll look back on some day and remember as I’m doing now.

Moments are all we have. Every moment is a gift. Even when the moments suck I try to remember that someone smarter than me is trying to teach me something or show me something I’ve been lacking. Every moment is an opportunity to grow, to memorize, to impact someone else, to remember, to teach, to savor.

In my life, I’m guilty of future-living. I live for what’s next – when I get off work, when the weekend comes, when next month comes, when a certain event comes. In doing that I continuously miss the now moment. I miss the really important moments that happen every second by waiting for some better moment to come along.

Yesterday – for some reason – I could see and appreciate every moment for what it was…and I literally saw the circle of life before my eyes it seemed.

Life will always be a mystery to me. I will always hate to see loss and pain. I will always crave love and celebratory events.

But for now – part of learning to balance my life will be learning to literally stay in the moment.

Treasure each moment.

From sitting at my desk, to driving, to running, to tucking my girls in, to hugging Rambo, to bathing in Skittles.

Moments are precious. They are mine to make what I want of them. Mine to remember and cherish and live in.

And I plan on doing just that….until the last moment when I am gone.

So I ask you again....

Has there ever been a more powerful word than....moments?

I believe without moments - there is just mere existence.

And I want more than to just exist.  Don't you?

13 comments:

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Great post, Draz. There are a lot of important things to think about here.

Jen said...

This? Is the good stuff. GREAT post!

Marie said...

Brought tears to my eyes and very timely Draz. Wonderful wonderful like you.

rskmom said...

Deep, and yet not heavy. Love it!

tessierose said...

Beautiful!

Read said...

Truly a beautiful post - one I need to remember more often. Thanks for this!

Ms. M said...

Beautiful to say the least! Reminds me of a song... now if I could just recall the name of it, lol.

LDswims said...

Beautiful blog! A precious moment in my life!!

Jess said...

What an awesome post, Draz. I was watching Teen Mom 2 on MTV last night and this goofy guy said something that I really liked and your post reminded me of it.

The past is History.
The future is a mystery.
The now is a gift...that's why it's called the present.

I am all about moments too. I really liked this.

Scuttleboose said...

It sounds so trite, but this is a really great post, Draz. Thanks for writing it! :)

Jacquie said...

Remind me to give you lots of HUGs in Chicago!!! Great post.

Barbara said...

I am bawwling my eyes out!!!!!

Joey said...

Great advise. "future living"? Guilty.