Thursday, March 10, 2011

Find the joy.

I left Care Bear land and took up permanent residence in Hell over the last few days. My new name is Negative Nancy.

I will resume my post as Positive Patty soon…but it ain’t happening today.

There will be no “I love my body” pictures today. Let’s not even go there.

Rambo had to work overtime again last night and I swear to you on all that is holy – every five minutes from one of the girls I would get, “When is Daddy coming home? I miss him.” I hate that they are sad and miss him but I hate hearing the question because then we all miss him more. When he’s gone, the key is staying active and busy.

That is – if you’re head isn’t going to explode and you can move. I had a small headache all day but that’s all part of this stupid flu going around. By the evening I had a full blown migraine. Normally I never let myself get to that point but for some reason yesterday – I did. By the time I took a pain pill – I was in “someone please cut my head off and bury it in the sand” mode.

I needed dark. And quiet. And sleep.

But none of things was gonna happen – because I’m a mom….without Rambo to be exact. Ack.

The bright spot in all of this is that Rambo is off this weekend. Thank God. He always gets off two in a row before he works another six. Here’s hoping my feet are firmly planted in Care Bear Land by tomorrow.

Oh and yes – I haven’t worked out in a week. I just can’t. I feel like dog poo poo every other five minutes and I just can’t. My BFF Jenny has taken over where I left off. She’s a workout Queen and because of her I “want” to get back to it – and I will. Have no fear – Mrs. I Love to Sweat is absent – but she is not gone.

Also, I tried to read blogs last night and comment but I just couldn't...I'll catch up this weekend I promise.

By the time Rambo actually got home, I was in the fetal position and I told him to kill me.  He was pretty sure we were headed to the ER for a "cocktail" but it lessened as time passed.  Today, I'm at work..and about to take another pain pill.  God help me!

One last thing. I have an image in my head that I’m going to cling to all damn day long – so as not to kill each person I come into contact with.

Banana – the five year old – especially missed Rambo last night. She went to sleep in his prison guard shirt. It’s a short sleeved size XL shirt. On her it’s a long-sleeved to the floor dress.

This morning she came in my room while I was getting ready…all sleepy-eyed with her eyes squinched tight against the light. She stood there and I swear to you I’ve never seen anything more precious.

She had on pajamas that consisted of a tank and matching shorts with ruffles – yellow with elephants all over them. And on top of that – still Rambo’s shirt. Hanging to the floor – nearly swallowing her up.

In her sleepy little voice she showed me every single badge on her Daddy’s shirt – as if I’d never seen them before. As she walked away with her shirt dragging, the kitties decided the tails of the shirt were playtoys. So she walks – and 2 cats try to drag her down and she giggles. Off she goes to put on snow boots – big furry pink obnoxious snow boots people.

And that is how she went to the sitters.

Yellow elephant pajamas covered by her Daddy’s prison guard shirt and fluffy pink snow boots. What a sight.

You couldn’t look at her and not smile.

I can guarantee you she won’t take that thing off until Rambo is home. It’s like her love and her pride for him all mixed into one shirt.

I emailed Rambo at work and told him and he said, “Man, I wish I had a picture of that.”

He’ll carry the image all day…and so will I.

It’s the little things people. You gotta find joy in the little things.

Or you’ll stab some poor guy’s eyes out with a fork.


Justawallflower said...

I am picturing it as well, absolutely the sweetest thing! I hope u get to feeling better and are able to actually enjoy u weekend with rambo this week.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Kids. They are the most precious things in the world and they can always give you reason to hope and keep going no matter how bad you feel. You have two sweet angels. Let them and their love carry you for a while. Hugs. :)

Laurie said...

"or you stab some poor guys eyes out with a fork!" Brilliant.
Last night after 9, my 16 year old said "hey, by the way, where is dad?" Hold on to those moments...
So sorry about the migraine. I get them too, I take Treximet. What is your precious treat? And, cocktail? How often do you have to do that?
I am getting one just thinking about your pain.
Have a pink snuggle boot day.

nikki said...

Indeed she sounds so adorable. :)

As for you, I hope you feel better and have a better day! Here's hoping time speeds by so the weekend with your hubby will be here.

Pamela E. Williams said...

Awww!! That makes me smile. I hope that the day gets better for you. Wonderful story. It cheered me up. Thanks!

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

Awww,that's sweet. Hope you feel better!

Jen from Oregon said...

You've got to hold on to those moments tight, that's for sure. So sweet!
Hope today is better for you

Beth Ann said...

Sorry you are feeling bad! But that image is indeed a sweet one. :) Hope you are feeling better!

Food Freak said...

I needed your wonderful post this morning. It'll make work a little happier. While I've gained a lot by not having children, I've lost a lot, too. (The reverse is true for those who have them, imo.) Something like this is very precious, and you and Rambo will remember it all your lives.

I am a chronic migraine patient, too, and know exactly what you're going through. I'm so sorry. Here's hoping that you can slay the dragon soon.

MandaPanda said...

Aawww...sounds like you're definitely having a rough week. I hope the headache clears up and just keep clinging to that image.

LDswims said...

It is the little things, isn't it? The things that catch you off guard that you totally weren't expecting. The little moments in life that make us catch our breath and say 'all this crap does have a silver lining afterall'. It's so funny how something so simple as an image or a result (wink) can turn the mindset around.

Love you, chica. I hope you beat this headache soon. I'll be prayin for that!

Shannon said...

o my goodness that sounds just to cute!!!

I hope your headache gets better and stabbing people with a fork ismuch more fun cause you can always say FORK YOU!

Bonnie said...

Hubby is out of town at Daytona for bike week and we miss him a lot. It's a rainy, dreary day and Aunt Flo is putting me in a bad mood. My daughter didn't make the volleyball team and was in tears yesterday. Thank God tomorrow is Friday and hubby is coming home Saturday. Hope we're both feeling better soon.

Dawnya said...

I don't even want to imagine the pain you are in. However, I too wish I had a picture of Banana in that outfit. Thanks for sharing. I hope you get some dark quiet sleep time soon.

DiZneDiVa said...

Awwww.... I wish you took a photo of that. Then you could look at it to ease the pain. She looks precious still in your mind though. I hope you cross back over to Care Bear land soon, It's lonely over here without you.

Dizzy Girl said...

I haven't worked out in a week either- this bug is DEATH isn't it! I hate it! I've been doing yoga, only because it's in a hot room and slow movements and the heat actually feels good on my throat. I have to leave the room sometimes to have a cough attack, but we'll get there girl! Soon. Real soon. I want to work out too right now- feeling the diet/workout itch lately.



amandakiska said...

I hope you feel better!

What a precious image of the little one!

MizFit said...

this reminded me of my fave quote about APPRECIATING THE LITTLE THINGS as you may look back and realize they were the BIG THINGS.

off to appreciate--