Monday, March 7, 2011

Guilt.

Today is shitabulous.  Downright sucktastic.

Why you ask?  No reason.  Other than guilt. 

I'm at home today.  I spent the weekend feeling crappy.  I had something in between a cold and the flu with moments of feeling just fine in between it all.

And it was finally Rambo's weekend off.  Nice.  Figures. 

I slept terribly last night so I called in sick today.  I slept until noon.  Now I'm home, feeling fine, and feeling guilty.  I have shit to do at work.  I should not have stayed home.  I'm fine. 

Why am I so weak mentally that I need to take an entire day off just to reconfigure myself and breathe like a normal person?  Why can't I go balls to the walls every day like everyone else?

Oh and no Mom talk. The moment didn't present itself.  We weren't alone and a conversation like that requires time alone in my opinion.

Because I've been sick I haven't worked out in days.  Again - I suck. 

I may be joining the gym again because I figured out that it's free so hey - why not right?

Good God - I have no idea where this post is even going or what I'm saying. 

No worries - tomorrow I will have my feet squarely planted back in CareBear land and I'll be shooting gumdrops out my ass like bullets out of an AK-47. 

I promise.

23 comments:

~*Dawn*~ said...

Try to relax. Take the time today to do something you would do if you didn't have to work all the time...personally, I would be watching some pay-per-view movies (no, not the dirty ones!)

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

Everybody doesn't go balls to the wall all the time.

No.

No they don't. You're wearing rose colored glasses even for CareBearLand dearie.

You deserved, needed, and took a day off. That's call triage honey.

not guilt.

xoxo

i promise i love you

Fiddle in the Band said...

Are you on the crack girl?! Take a time out and ENJOY! You aren't a bad anything or sucky at anything. Your bod is telling you it needs to regroup! Rainbow Bright can hold down the fort for today :)

Amanda said...

Missing one day of work isn't so bad! Relax and enjoy and get back to feeling like YOU. :)

Amanda said...

no one NEEDS to go balls to the wall ever really. It wears you down..and then you get sick! At least it makes me sick! Trust me the illness that is going around hangs on for a long time so taking a day off is probably needed! Don't feel guilty. Tomorrow is a new day!

Angelia said...

I've done it. Kids were sick, I was sick-ish, house is a mess-all kinds of crap to do at work-but I just need to take a day cause I feel no-so-good. Don't feel guilty.

Shannon said...

wow you are really hard on yourself.

Did you plan to get sick? probally not

Did Rambo get mad at you for ruining his weekend? I doubt it.

Did your kids tell you that you are the worst mom ever because you arent feeling well? I have a feeling they didn't say anything close.

People get sick. I was sick last week and I took 2 days off of work. I probally shouldn't have taken either one. I know I felt better quicker though. You did something for yourself, you need to every now and then. Your body obviously needed that sleep so as of right now you are no longer aloud to feel guilty about staying home sick from work.
As for working out. I have a feeling that you will be just fine when you get back on that treadmil. I have faith in you.
*big hug*

Dizzy Girl said...

Girl please- give yourself a break. You work harder than anyone I know- like 3 jobs, 2 kids, a husband (which in and of itself is a full time job), and you work out constantly prepping for the half. Are you kidding me? TAKE THE BREAK AND ENJOY IT. You are one crazy son of a gun if you feel guilty BECAUSE YOU ARE SICK. No one can help being sick; but I can tell you that you can help how fast you recover. You either allow yourself the time to heal and enjoy it- or you make yourself more sick by ignoring your body's signs and pushing harder. Do what you want- but don't say you weren't warned. I mean that in a loving way, of course.

Take care of yourself Draz. You will be back at work tomorrow- none of us doubt that for a second.

D

Ms. M said...

Sounds to me like your body needed the extra rest - even if you are feeling okay now. Taking care of yourself is smart, not weak. Nothing to feel guilty about. You'll be right back at it tomorrow. Enjoy the day to rest (or at least not work at work). You deserve it! :)

Tina said...

I have nothing to add but agree with all...pull that skittle out and enjoy your day off :) other people do not go balls to the walls every day. If they tell you that they are lying!!

xxxoooo

LDswims said...

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Balls to the wall is impossible to maintain and you try to maintain it like it's nothing. If you absolutel "must" feel guilty about something - feel guilty for not making yourself your first priority. Your body is telling you to take a break for a reason. Don't feel guilty for listening to - and fixing - the situation.

I find it hilarious that you ask why you are so weak mentally. Ummm...love you, chica. And I think I'll put it this way. I don't love weak people. We are drawn to those we are most like. So, if I'm like you - and vice versa - you aint weak. In any way shape or form.

Now go put your feet up and embrace the day you have allowed to be about you! That takes strength!

(Listen to your mantra...)

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

enjoy the time to recover. your body says stop! Besides now that your all rested you can get your ass in gear again and back to working out ;)

Beth Ann said...

Who are these constant balls to the walls people? I don't know them. If I have an employee that stayed home sick, the last thing I would want is for them to feel all guilty about it and not use it to feel better for when they come back! :) I'm sorry you are having crappy days and I hope it bounces back soon.

(By the way, I used the term farting gumdrops the other day and I thought my friends were going to lose it. You have lightened people's days all over the land, my friend.)

Amanda said...

Everyone requires a mental health day at times. I know I do. And sometimes it hits without warning.

Chill. Enjoy. You'll hit it again tomorrow.

Bonnie said...

Everybody needs a down day. It sucks you were sick on Rambo's off weekend. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Jen from Oregon said...

You don't suck! You're Sick! Allow yourself the time to recover. I know, easier said than done.

nikki said...

I get the SAME sick feeling and I hate it. But, perhaps if you hadn't of stayed home and got rest you wouldn't be feeling better. So, you did the right thing!

Laurie said...

No one ever wrote on their tombstone "I wish I had spent more time at work" You were taking care of yourself. Shit, if you were sick all weekend, you deserve a freakin' day off. I hope you were able to find some healing in this day.

Ice Queen said...

Probably because you needed a day to reconfigure yourself and breathe like a normal person.

And, here is a news flash, lovebug; it is perfectly normal to do do so! You go balls to the wall all the time. Your bod was telling you to let it have a day. Your mind was screaming for relief from daily stress and go, go, go.

Nothing wrong with that. I hope that your day off refreshed you, reconfigured you and you got to breathe.

Have a great day, tomorrow. :D

Food Freak said...

I wonder what you'd do to yourself if you'd really done something wrong? Cut your feet off or something? You were sick. You took a sick day. OMG, the horror! Please, please, please don't beat yourself. This perfectionism and guilt will only make you worse physically and possibly trigger an eating festival. NO! Don't do it!

Take the damn day off, woman, and don't spread your germs on everyone else. You did the right thing; made the right choice. Honest.

Read said...

Look! As much as I love you - we all need the occassionaly mental health day from time to time. You need to take a deep breath and give yourself a break. I'm not sure who you were talking about when you suggested everyone else is always going balls to the wall because that's just ridiculous. That said - I did used to have guilt if I took a mental health day - and then I decided that my mental health is just as important (frankly more so) than my physical health. And while I don't take a lot of sick days in general - I am just as likely to take a sick day because I have the flu as I am because my brain just needs some time and space to regroup! I hope your day helped and I hope you're feeling all better both mentally and physically!!

Jess said...

Feel better soon!!!

MizFit said...

I vote we save the GUILT for when we do something totally shitastic and against our moral code.

#Imjustsayin'