Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Shocking events, taco meat and a serious sex question.

Holy apeshit! I feel like I have so much catching up to do and yet the fact remains that I posted three effing times yesterday. Obsessed much? You poor people. You have my permission not to read any of this bull caca…but the writer in me is bursting to get this out as a form of personal therapy so here we go.


A couple of happy things before I go all deep and crazy on you.

You’re all going to crap your pants when I tell you this. No wait. Let me rephrase that. You are not allowed to crap your pants when I tell you this because I hate POOP remember? Oh but if anything was ever poop-your-pants worthy – this is so it. Are you ready?

I got home last night and my girls and I were getting out of the car. La-de-da…same as every other night. Watermelon nonchalantly says to me, “Mom, remember that one time we went on a shopping spree and I took two of my friends with us?” (What shopping spree? How can I – the Queen of shopping sprees – not remember such an event? Oh yes – in order to prepare I must have been high on Xanax thereby not remembering a single moment.)

I say, “Um, sure. Why?”

She says, “Can we do that again except this time I’ll bring two different friends?”

I do an about face to find my 10 year old Watermelon smirking at me bashfully and I say, “Who do you want to bring?”

BLOODY HELL – are you ready for this?

She sheepishly says, “Rose.” And then, “We’ve been doing really good together, Mom.”

Score! Score! Score! Jesus, Mary and Joseph – this whole standing up for your kid and confronting things head on and asking for help works! Who the hell knew? Can you guys believe this stuff? I mean really – this should be damn Hallmark movie or run on the Lifetime sappy woman channel or something right? At the very least, Oprah should want to do a whole segment on it don’t you think?

There is some bad news though. I regret to inform you that Watermelon won’t be in our family for long.

We’re kicking her out. Banana and I were having taco meat with chips last night and she said to me, “Mom - you, me and Dad like taco meat, but Watermelon doesn’t. I think we need to kick her out of the family for that. Don’t you?”

Ah yes. You no likey taco meat – you no longer my daughter. Simple as that. Good God.

And lastly, on a serious note and a more shocking note – I have a question. Now this question is too brilliant for me to have come up with on my own. My dear friend Karen posed it to her followers and I think it’s important, I think it’s bold and I think it’s relevant and all the answers were so interesting to me. Sooo I’m posing it to you all. I hope Karen doesn’t mind but I know many of you take anti-depressants so I’m seriously interested in your feelings on this but it’s quite personal so obviously only share what you feel comfortable sharing.

Alright – here it is. What do you think is more important – taking meds to create mental stability or a healthy sex life filled with orgasms and sex drive?

It’s a known fact that anti-depressants affect libido and sex drive and the ability to climax. How do you deal with this? Are you pissed? Do you contemplate stopping the meds or is the non-O factor a non-factor for you? Any tricks that help deal with this side effect?

Do tell.

I told Karen that for me it’s become mental. I have to mindfully stay in the moment and feel the emotions and sensations and though it takes longer, I can get there every time. I remember a time when I was off meds and I couldn’t believe how fast and more intense it was…a cruel taste of what I could never have really. Then again, I have never felt held back or mad about this. My meds keep me alive – if I were dead there wouldn’t be any O’s you know?

The sex drive part has never been a side effect for me. I know the meds affect everyone differently but I’m glad that part hasn’t seemed to affect me.

How about you? Do you notice these side effects? How do you deal? Does your partner notice?

Um and yes – that’s it. I’m not quite sure how to end a post after asking such a question so I’m just going to say this. Thank you for answering – your words could help many.

And secondly….

The End.

25 comments:

Amanda said...

INSANITY! Your Watermelon is quite the girl! Tis a shame that you are having to remove her from the family due to taco meat!! I've got no info on the sex question. I am so flipping tired lately that sex is the last thing on my mind. But that is not doe to meds!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Drazil, You can borrow anything you want from my blog. I wouldn't put it out there if I were worried about what people think. :)

For me, I miss the orgasms, but it ISN'T the end of the world and there is nothing worse than being too depressed to breath. Sometimes I resent the fact that I had to give up that particular pleasure and it does disturb me and make me feel abnormal but I could never knowingly go off my meds when it would risk my life to do so. We all have to make compromises in life. It just so happens that mine is a personal and difficult one to make. Back in my younger days, I did sometimes stop my meds so I could enjoy sex again, but I always ended up WORSE than I was before. I don't think I will be testing the waters again. My stability is too important to me, especially since I've been so unstable this winter. I was pretty much fighting for my life. Orgasms are great, but not so important when compared to LIVING.

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

I'm gonna skip all the other important nonsense and get right on to the sex question on antidepressants.

For me it took quite a while. But, I was so depressed I honestly didn't miss it. At all. My poor husband. After about six months I started to work on it. I did that by flirting with my husband at first. Actually, I think it was responding to his tiny hints of flirtation with a smile and worked my way up.

TIME. That is what it took for me. I've been on the same meds now for three years. It took me about nine months before I felt like initiating anything. I don't believe that anything other than more drugs would have lessened that time. I didn't want more drugs.

But, I DIDN'T WANT LESS DRUGS either.

I have found exercise, especially hard cadio that leaves me gasping for air, to increase my sex drive. I am cautious though in using this as a 'drug' of it's own because it brings out my obsessive tendencies.

Dazee Dreamer said...

OMG, I'm so shocked. But not really because, sometimes people like Rose just need a friend so bad, but they don't know how to go about it. Good for your daughter. I'm a proud follower.

I think mental stability over a healthy sex drive. But then I've been married FOREVER so maybe that's why I feel that way.

Amanda said...

I'll admit, two reasons I haven't yet looked into meds more intently (outside of the fact that my cyclical bouts of depression are hormonal in nature and will pass if I will just get to being postmenopausal, like, now) would be 1) potential weight gain, and 2) my sex drive being affected.

That said, if I need to go on them then it's fine. Mental stability trumps most other concerns, ultimately.

Twix said...

"Alright – here it is. What do you think is more important – taking meds to create mental stability or a healthy sex life filled with orgasms and sex drive?"

Sorry I had to quote that above. To much work to scroll back and forth. Danged ADHD I can't focus on what I want to say and remember what you asked. Hahahaha....

or is that alzhiemers...

Okay where were we?

Oh ya! ;-) I'm bipolar and no meds. I'll take them and be happily admitted if any close somebodies in my life think it's requeired. That's out of the way. I dislike the side effects of the meds. I don't like listening to static all day long. So I this means I don't like being tuned into one flat lined emotional station all the time. At least that's what most meds have done to me in the past. Paxil tried to kill me going off of it. Nasty stuff.

Phew... Oh ya there's more to your question. Duh.. smacks self :D cheese

Sex? I got plenty of drive, just no sex life. I think good and plenty of oh ya uh huh give it to me - would be nice, very nice. Sadly it'd currently be a one woman show and that's not exactly what I'm looking for.

I'd choose option B any day. Straight jacket me when it needs to be.

Good morning Tuesday!!

Fun post and funny comment from Banana too!

Read said...

OMG - Watermelon is a rock star!!! I don't have adequate words to describe how freakin' proud I am of that little girl!!!

Mental stability totally trumps sex drive - now that being said - when I went on drugs, sex was already so not on my mind (I waited longer than I should have to go on them). The relief was so eye opening and profound that my sex drive totally increased and I don't remember one way or the other about the O issue. It was very early in my marriage and I doubt we had everything figured out between us 100% of the time anyway - and I was way too involved in what was good for others to have ever worried what was going on with me... Times have changed.

Shannon said...

wow what progress with Rose! very happy for little ms watermelon.

on the sex topic, i wanted to stop taking meds when I was on them but in the long run my marraige was better off with me on them. So even though I had literally no sex drive my husband could put up with me. Eventually I went to my doc and asked if there was anything to do about it and got put on more meds. In the end it was better to go to therapy and get off all meds then be so drugged all the time that i had a different med for every different thing I wanted to feel. to each there own.

Beth Ann said...

What an amazing 180! But one of my favorite sayings is about love and hate not being opposites. If you have the passion to hate each other, you probably could have the passion to love. I so hope it continues!!

Ginger aka Gidget said...

I think I lucked out. I take Citalopram (aka Celexa) and it has not affected my sex drive at all. As a matter of fact, I'm still pretty much a minx - but I'm not sure if it's that I'm in my 30's or what. I have a friend that says her libido is ZILCH and she takes it. But, for me - it's not a problem. Maybe it's because I don't give a shit about anything else? LOL!

Anonymous said...

I take Lexapro. It has affected my sex drive some, but not enough that I am willing to trade my mental stability for it. I just focus more during foreplay, and remind myself prior to starting that the end result always makes me feel better!
Oh, and for what it's worth, I started on Prozac and had to call the doc for a med change - I would LITERALLY want to put my head on my desk at work every day around 2 pm. My boss frowns upon such behavior, so that's when I started the Lexapro.

Justawallflower said...

Wow, how wonderful of the Rose situation! When ever you start to question your motherhood skills again you need to remember that this is the kind of little girl your raising! Um, and ignore the fact that your disowning her for her food preferences! :) I can't really answer the question, as I'm not on anti-depression meds, but I would probably say mental stability. Thats an all the time thing versus and occasional feeling (even if it is an amazing one!)

Jess said...

Well I am super proud of Watermelon for being such a sweet little thing and taking Rose under her wing.

I have never been on meds before (probably should be but have decided to live in denial about that). I have PCOS and my sex drive is already damaged thanks to that. I can't imagine if I WAS to take meds then I would probably murder the next penis I saw. That would suck.

LDswims said...

On the shocking events - that's awesome! I was wondering if Rose picking on watermelon was because she wanted to be friends but didn't know how. Seems like a lot of bullies/aggressors really have things like that as their motivators. And not having a home life that teaches her that's wrong, well, that's sad for Rose. I am so glad you took care of everything as you did and Rose and your daughter may well be friends for life, now!

Baby steps, though...

As for the taco meat - too funny!

And finally, for the sex question - I don't have anything to add there. I have my opinions - which agree with yours - being alive is key. And being able to make a connection with another person is at the core of O's anyway. If someone is deeply depressed, chances are, those connections aren't happening...and, well, at the end of our lives, I don't believe we'll say, damn, those O's were amazing. I think we'll say - the connections I had with so-and-so or such-and-such made my life worth living....

MrsFatass said...

Yeah. I SO want to write a post about the sex stuff, but my ENTIRE FAMILY reads my flipping blog. I was still holding out hope that my dad thinks I'm a virgin, you know?

But I am in that very place struggling with that very question right now. So. I don't know yet.

Sarah Williams said...

I am so glad Watermelon and Rose are getting along! And I can't stop laughing at Banana wanting to kick her sister out of the family over taco meat, priceless!

Ginger said...

I was on a number of anti deppresants and I stopped them every time because I need to have my sex drive. I now take herbs and have been good ever since

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Donut Butt said...

I'm a little behind on blogs but I really wanted to throw in my 2 cents.

For me, mental stability is #1.

One of my favorite things is standing over the stove with a bag of corn chips scooping the taco meat out of the pan and eating it right there, no plate needed. If I'm feeling froggy I'll put a dolop of sour cream on the chip and an olive. YUMMY!!!

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OMG! What a crap story about your watermelon girl! For me, taking meds for mental stability is not that important. I rather take up regular exercises for about 30 minutes to feel mentally stable. Come night, I use medicines like kamagra. This helps me both ways- improves my erection as well as mental health. Believe me. Combining meds with exercises is the best way to improve your sexual and mental health.

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