Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Snorting Mountain Dew.

Let’s just put it out there.

I’m a wuss of epic proportions. Thriving on routine doesn’t really do me any favors. This week is anything but routine and my little Negative Nancy brain is almost planning a massive migraine at the end of this week.

I completed my day that began at 6am yesterday and ended at 11:30pm. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. That’s not that big of a deal if the entire time I didn’t have to be thinking. Like with my own brain.

By about 10pm, I couldn’t answer questions without slurring and talking like I’d been hit with a baseball bat. No one should do anything that has to do with shared revenues and mill rates and water main breaks past 5pm in my opinion…least of all after 9 previous hours of already intense brain work.

What the hell was I thinking?

4 hours in and the report that is due to the State for the 2nd PT job by March 31st only has 15 errors in it (yes, I realize I waited until the last minute to do this report). I’m told this is really good. Sounds terrible though, doesn’t it? I mean if 15 errors is good I wonder what is bad.

Minutes before I saw these 15 errors, the woman training me let it slip that "the entire town's revenues and grants and fundings are based off this report we're doing now."

Um yes...it's time to stop for the night.  I have to go throw up now.  No pressure or anything.

*Sigh*  The bad news is I have to do this again on Wednesday night. The good news is it should be just for a few hours.

Today is the full time job, the meeting with the Principal and teacher and then straight to a Board meeting for the 3rd PT job. Somewhere in the middle of all this I’d like to breathe and try to fart a gumdrop or two. Oh and see my kid’s faces…to remember what they look like.

Yes, this is the part where you all say in unison, “Draz – you dumbass – you signed up for jobs A, B, & C – cuz you have a Superwoman complex AND because you need to supplement your shoe fund. Stop buying shoes or shut up.”

I think we all know I’m not going to stop buying shoes right?

In my defense, it’s just a bad time. It’s the first of the year so many reports and taxes and such are due so it’s balls to the wall……and soon, it’ll calm down.

By the way, Rambo made it home from his moshing bliss at 1:30am. I have no idea if he’s bloody like he usually is when he comes home from those or if he has a voice – it was 1:30am people – this mama was sleeping. I remember asking him a few questions but he couldn’t hear me over the ringing in his ears. I will say I made sure that all night long I texted him “suggestive” texts so as to drive him nuts because he was far away and couldn’t do anything about it.

Serves him right. Anyone who willingly goes into mosh pits deserves to be tortured in some way in my opinion.

I will probably pay for that tonight. I hope anyway. *wink wink* I may be tired…but I’m not dead.

Bring on the Mountain Dew. Maybe I’ll try to snort it. Wonder if that would work?

I’ll go into that school meeting wired and high on snorted Mt. Dew. Here’s hoping you don’t see me on the news tonight.

I'm taking all your advice with me and I'll report tomorrow!


Stephanie said...

Good luck to you tonight. You know my thoguths and prayers are with you. Oh and don't snort the Mtn. Dew. They next thing, you'll be shooting up Dr. pepper and then once you start doing Coke, you'll be stealing things for your next fix. :)

Laura Belle said...

I snorted Mt. Dew once. My hair stood on end, my eyes bugged out and looked from object to object like a pinball just shot those things that go 'Bling, Blang, Bling'. It was a great experience. LOL!

Good luck, you'll do great!

Food Freak said...

Try Go Girl in peach sometime. It's supposed to keep you wide awake. All I know is that it tastes good.

I hope you're rewarded for your sexting. Always a boon. I also hope his ears get back to normal. BTDT.

I'm sorry about your extreme fatigue. If it's at all possible, it would be great if that didn't happen again. Not good for you, gumdrop. Not good at all.

Read said...

Januarys of each year are my balls to the wall time of year and there's just a point each day where the brain matter stops working and starts leaking out of your ears in protest. It always sucks big balls when I can't stop at that point!!! I'm sorry you're in it right now, hopefully it'll end soon!!

I think you should totally try the snorting thing!

And... if you get too stressed during your meeting at school tonight - try thinking of all the ways Rambo will be punishing you for your sexting later!

Dawnya said...

LOL...let me know how the Mt. Dew snorting goes. I think I might need to try it next.

Please take a picture of the S on your chest...you are a superhero.

Good luck tonight at the meeting.

Ice Queen said...

Self inflicted over work doesn't get my sympathy... Especially when you get to go buy hawt shoes with the proceeds. I say, work and shop on, girl. ;)

Good luck in your meeting. Go get 'em, Draz. Remember, you are Mama Bear. And my dragon is on standby if you need her.

I've heard that a Mountain Dew IV is rather effective... :P

Shannon said...

wow you are overworked! maybe you should invest in some time off after you finish that report on wednesday.

Liz said...

Snorting Mountain Dew, eh? Let me know how that works out...I may try it with chai!!!

LDswims said...

This too shall pass. And damn those boots will be hot!!

We can get through anything knowing that the end is in sight. It's how my company of girls got through boot camp. We knew it couldn't last forever. It's amazing how easy boot camp is when you think like that! If you get bogged down in the moment, just look ahead ...

As for snorting Mountain Dew might I suggest mainlining it for now? Or if you have a friend that's a nurse, get a pic line...straight to the heart!

~Sandi @ This one time at 'band' camp... said...

Never stop buying shoes!!! lol

Beth Ann said...

Good luck, Superwoman! If Mountain Dew doesn't work, try Red Bull. I hear it gives you wings. [groan, I know, sorry] :)

Dizzy Girl said...

Girl wait for me- if you're snorting Mt. Dew I'm on my way. I def need some too....like- NOW.

Dazee Dreamer said...

well alrighty then. no pressure on the whole report thing. yikes.

I'm anxiously awaiting the report from the school visit.

MizFit said...


how was the meeting??