Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Botox, camel toes and bullies.

Let me just say that anything following a “shoe picture post” – seems dull. Mundane. Lifeless and almost pointless. (hmm…one would think I’m talking about Martha Stewart’s love life)


But I must continue on with my ramblings. Much to my disbelief – everything in my life isn’t about shoes. (though I am expecting the 6 pair I ordered last week to come today…prepare yourself for some major screen licking when I post more pictures)

Moving on. Okay – let’s see. Yesterday marked 15 weeks until my ½ marathon. Training officially begins at 12 weeks so we’re getting there folks. I did the treadmill for an hour Sunday night and walked around town with friends last night. I plan to do the treadmill again tonight after a school function I have to work at.

I am officially on track in my “lose 1 lb a week” competition with myself. And yes – while we’ve already ascertained that losing a pound a week is something even Buddha could do by just blowing his nose….it feels like rocket science for this girl.

Oh get this? I might be getting Botox. Now before you go all into giving me the “isn’t two plastic surgeries in a lifetime enough?” speech….calm down. The botox isn’t out of vanity and it’s not about my skin at all. I’m looking into it for my migraines. Botox has helped a ton of people deal with them when nothing else works. I just got my last ER bill for my migraine and the bill was $900. I go to the ER at least a few times a year. If one Botox treatment helped me I’m telling you - the insurance company would make money.

I’m also looking into Botox for my armpits. Yup – you read that right. While I sweat like a mo-fo because I’m a nervous anxiety-ridden freak who is also hot most of the time – the fact is – my glands are way more active than most people. I mean I have sweaty pit marks on shirts and such. It’s annoying and it can ruin shorts and it’s embarrassing. I do take a pill that can completely stop this – it essentially dries up all my glands. However, it dries up everything – meaning I’m basically dehydrated – which causes more migraines. It sucks little monkey balls.

I’ll let you know if insurance covers either procedure….keep your fingers crossed for me!

I hosted my jewelry party Saturday. Everything went swimmingly (look, look – I got to use that word again)….well except for that one thing. That one thing being that I was washing wine glasses and suddenly felt my foot getting warm. Odd right? Yes…until I realized my sink was leaking onto the floor into my socks. Shitballs. 30 minutes before I have a houseful of people and my sink leaks?

Karma hates my chubby ass. So we called my friend’s husband (Rambo was at work) and he came over to fix it. Later on we had to call the same guy to bring us a wine bottle opener. When we called him that second time – the husband said, “You better be naked, drunk and having a pillow fight this time”. Seriously – men really believe that happens, don’t they?

The party was good. I finished my not-$2000 calendar in time to hang it up and everyone loved it. I managed to sweat buckets but did not get hives. I ate copius amounts of chocolate covered strawberries and Rambo rewarded me later with an ice cream M&M blizzard. Good times.

Explosive Man is back in the office this week. Suffice it to say I will not be peeing at work at all this week. I may ask Martha Stewart across the hall how I can replicate her super tight camel toe feature. I figured that out – she does it as a way to hold her pee in so she doesn’t have to use the bathroom here. I mean a gumdrop farting Skittle bathing hick from the sticks can certainly suck it up and pee in a poop infested toxic air bathroom BUT Martha Stewart’s fine expensive lotioned ass can NOT….hence the pee-holding camel toe feature. She’s not as dumb as I thought she was. And now I want to be her.

Oh and lastly – Rose – the bully…..God – I don’t even know what to say. I can say I’m a horrible mother – like you can write it in stone. I guess yesterday Rambo picked up Watermelon from school and she was crying. She told Rambo why and they walked to the car. Rambo sat in the car for about a minute and decided – nope – I’m not going to go home and call back and ask for a meeting and deal with this later – I’m going back in there now. By the way – last week was “anti-bullying week” at school.

Rambo walked into the Principal’s office and said, “I guess your anti-bullying week didn’t work worth a shit.” He proceeded to tell the P what happened and even had Watermelon go in and relate why she was crying. The P said Rose was in study hall right now and he’d go have a chat with her and he’d talk to them both tomorrow. Watermelon spent a good hour curled up in the fetal position with an upset stomach over this until she finally calmed down.

Another talk. Another non-consequence. Another moment where Rose is a bully and her mother has no idea. It makes me wonder if Watermelon was a bully and in trouble every day – would I know? Would they let me know? Would they call me in?

Back to being a horrible mother. This morning Watermelon was quiet – very quiet. I told her I loved her, told her the plans for the night and told her goodbye. And then? On the way to work I realized today was when she was supposed to meet with the Principal and Rose and deal with Rose getting in trouble because Watermelon told on her……and I missed that.

How could I have done that? How could I have not given her extra encouragement and support this morning? I made this worse without even knowing it. And I feel terrible about it. I completely missed my job description this morning as supportive mom. Instead I was career professional getting ready for work and mother getting her kids and their bags in the car on time. Tonight I’ll tell her I’m sorry. But that won’t help her today……….so if you could – say a prayer or two. For Watermelon. And for Rose.

16 comments:

Camille said...

I love Botox. I use it for vanity only! P.s. Loved the shoes!

Kristin said...

My mom got Botox for migraines and it really improved her quality of life. I've heard Botox is great for sweaty pits; I used it for a sweaty head, believe it or not. My sister decided to get married in South Florida. In May. OUTSIDE. I'm a major head sweater and I got all nervous that I'd be dripping during the wedding, so I went to a dermatologist and had her shoot my entire scalp with Botox. It worked, and it lasted about six months. (It also set me back $1,000 - no insurance coverage for sweaty head syndrome.)

Good luck!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

So much in this post, Draz. You are not a horrible mother. Watermelon will be okay. It might be time to use stronger language with the Principal though. He is obviously just glossing over the issue. Rose needs some serious help before something bad happens. I don't understand why her parents aren't being notified. The principal is acting like he just expects the situation to resolve itself.

If the Botox will help your migraines it is worth a try. I hope it works for you. I hate migraines.

Hang in there. :)

Stephanie said...

So sorry to hear Watermelon is having to deal with the rose crap again...You are a great mom. Maybe if Rose's mother was like you, there might not be a situation to begin with.

Laura Belle said...

I can't believe I haven't thought of this before, but my migraines are stress related too. Anytime I hold in my feelings for more than a month, BAM, migraine from Hell. Maybe you should meditate, seriously, to help with the stress, which would help with the migraines. You've probably already thought of that. Oh well, worth a shot.

I have a small crease in my forehead, which I just noticed driving home yesterday (I about ran off the road and hit a huge dumpster). I'm not at all happy. NOT AT ALL. And I don't think Hubby would let me spend $$ on Botox. Then again, he wants a new scope for his rifle....I see a trade coming!

I'm praying for little Watermelon! And for Rose, I pray to the Lord Almighty that that girl gets some sense in her. (And if that doesn't work, and I know this sounds bad, but I hope 'what goes around comes around' and that she GETS why it came around.)

MandaPanda said...

Hmm...interesting about the botox. I never knew it helped migraines. Definitely let us know how that goes.

You're not an awful mother. You forgot. These things happen. It's not like you sent her off to school in the middle of a fight or were hard on her for spilling orange juice or something this morning. It sounds like a decent morning, just not as much support as you WOULD'VE given but that's alright. Maybe not making it such a big deal will make it easier for her? Thinking of her today.. (not so much Rose but I'm catty like that)

Cat's Chic Chat said...

I'm ready to lick my screen when the 6 new pairs arrive.

I really do need to clean out my shoes. I have some that are actually old and worn out and I haven't worn in over a year. Yeah - need to get rid of those.

Bullies absolutely disgust me. I absolutely hate them, and the old advice that they are just feeling bad about themselves is crap. They are just mean spirited and need to have a switch (what am I 80??) taken to them.

FitBy40 said...

Oh, the whole bullying things scares me half to death. I have a kid who is super sensitive and sweet, and totally innocent, and I just KNOW at some point she will come up against a bully and she'll be a big mess. She doesn't assert herself and cries over the littlest things. I don't know how I will hold myself back from pummeling the bully who picks on my baby! You're not a bad mom. Just thinking about her during your busy day proves that. You care, you're also human. Can't wait to hear how it all turns out!

Grace. said...

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Tori said...

BUllies SUCK! I am sorry your sweet watermellon has to deal with this. My oldest has dealt with bullies a couple of times. It is not at all pleasant. Made N want to never go to school, sick to his stomach like your little one. Made me want to show up in full riot gear and deal with the little SOB myself. I have a friend who actually filed charges with the police and trust me if you threaten that with the prinical it will get dealt with. It seems stupid that it has to go that far sometimes. But it's not ok, ever to bully or get bullied.

Just remember while you are beating yourself up that you did not create this situation. Think of you treating it like any normal day as a way to show your daughter that this is how it is sometimes in life. You deal with things. Hard things, on your own sometimes and it makes you stronger. Teaches self reliance. And it is important for her to stand up for herself. She will be fine and she will get through it even without your pep talk. I promise. :) You are a good mom, never think differently.

Wendy said...

You know I have never had a kindness for Roses. They seem to either be a Nellie Olsen on steriods reincarnate or Kinder than Mother Theresa with a side of giant double cherry sundae goodness and that is two extremes I can take.
Tell Watermelon I am proud of her for telling. She might not feel food about it now but sticking up for herself will be awesome in the long run! She shouldn't have to keep dealing with this child:(

Dazee Dreamer said...

God, I wish school was over for watermelon. I feel so bad for her.

Explosive man really needs to get a porta potty just for him. OMG, would that be funny to have one delivered to his office. :)

I'm Laura! said...

loved the title - everyone can use a good camel toe every now and then (to laugh at not to have) but in this situation it seems to have a useful purpose so maybe it would be okay...

LOOOOOVED the shoes - i am addicted to shoes and purses so i drooled over the screen for awhile

hope you have an awesome night!

http://fairdalediaries.blogspot.com/

AutumnLeaves said...

Migraines are horrific, aren't they? I've had my share of ER visits due to them. I get yapped out all the time because for any headache that arises, I now take 5 to 6 aspirins immediately. I try to cut off a migraine at the pass and it usually, though not always works. If it doesn't, I pop one of those ridiculously expensive Imitrex tablets (they are about $27 per tablet). The end result? Ulcers induced by the aspirin. Still, I'd rather have a stomach ache (in all honesty, my stomach isn't really hurting due to the aspirins, but I do have ulcers because of them) than a migraine. The worst pain ever. I wish you success with the Botox treatment, both health wise and money wise.

Ronnie said...

I hope your insurance does cover the Botox, and I hope it works! :)

I'm sorry Watermelon is STILL going through this bullshit, I just wanna slap Rose's parents. Ugh.

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