Friday, May 27, 2011

BYOC Friday!!!!! ♥♪ Bring Your Own Crazy ♥♪

Let’s do BYOCBring Your Own Crazy! Every Friday a bunch of us answer a couple questions – some serious, some funny – in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break. Copy and paste to your blog if you want to participate and ENJOY!

1. When is the last time you gave and got a compliment?

• I gave a compliment about 10 minutes ago. I told a co-worker she looked cute because she was wearing a hat.

• I got a compliment last night in the weirdest way. I had on my new cheetah heels and kind of felt like they weren’t all that and a bag of chips because NOT a single person said anything about them (oh except my boss who called them cow shoes cuz they are spotted. I told himI felt like he just called me a heifer.) ...and then I was walking into Walmart and a cute little old lady was sitting outside waiting for a taxi.

She watched me walk all the way from my car to the front doors and looked at me and smiled and said, “Honey, I just love your shoes.” And then there was an older guy behind me who I didn’t realize I had passed in my walk and he said, “Well I like her fancy toe polish…how do you like that?” All three of us had a good laugh. So there – my heels rock and my blue toe nail paint with designs on it does too!

2. What do you wear to bed?

• I’m a non-consistent bed dresser. It depends how tired I am. Sometimes I’m too exhausted to get undressed so I just leave what I have on and lay down. Other nights I’m completely naked. Other nights – like last night I do the half and half. That would be naked on top – dressed up like an Eskimo on the bottom. I’m just weird that way.

3. I’ve asked this before but we have some newbies doing this so I’m going to ask it again. If you could pick your dream job – with no worries of shifts or money or bosses or commute – what would it be and where?

• Ah this is so easy – because I dream of it all the time. And yet – it’s reedick. There ain’t no way it’s ever happening and no – you are NOT allowed to laugh, roll your eyes or point.

I want to be a life coach or therapist – in my own home. Probably because I can’t shut up or something. I imagine an office with huge puffy couches and a beautiful desk and light streaming in from the huge windows and my clients coming in crying and leaving laughing and renewed and overjoyed. I’ve always wanted to change lives – and know I did something for someone just with my words or presence. I have a need to help people and let’s face it – though Accounting is orgasmic to me – it ain’t helping no one. I could hand out gumdrops when the session is done. Fresh ones – not farted ones. I do have some boundaries.

4. Okay – I’m not trying to start some huge controversy with this question but I have to put it out there. If you’re being honest – do you think staying at home or working outside the home is harder? Can you honestly recognize they are both equally hard? Even if you don’t have kids – have you heard others talk about the two professions judgementally?

• Sigh. I ask this because there was a moment last weekend when I let a comment go by when I should have stood up for myself. A lot of women came to my jewelry party and many of them left their kids at home and enjoyed wine because they said it was “so good to have a few hours without their kids”.

I was commenting to my fellow co-host about how so many women said that and enjoyed the time that day without kids. She said, “Well yes, of course. You don’t understand. We’re with our kids all day every day and it’s exhausting. I am envious of people like you that get to go out and have real interaction and adult conversation. Some days I would kill for that.”

I said nothing. And now I can’t stop thinking about that comment. First of all – she has ONE kid that is home with her. Her others are in school. That one is three. Same with the other moms. My daughter that isn’t in school is five and she’s not a handful. I can do pretty much anything I want even when I’m with her because she isn’t an infant. 

The thing that bothers me is that I was supposed to feel some sort of pity for her – like her life was so much harder than mine. And I beg to differ. She goes where she wants when she wants. I see her FB page filled with play dates and shopping trips and sleeping in and not having to put on makeup or go out if it’s raining or snowing or she just doesn’t feel like it. And yes – beyond that – I do understand and know that her job is harder than almost any job out there. I acknowledge that. But it’s also a choice. She could certainly work – she chooses not to.

What I want from her is to acknowledge that my job isn’t just “adult interaction and conversation” all day. Is that really all she thinks my leaving my precious kids is? It is hard to work three jobs – that’s all I’m going to say. Every moment I’m working those three jobs – I’m also a mother…so some days my stress feels double. To only have to worry about my kids – nothing else…well, I don’t know what that would be like.

And no – I don’t want pity or sympathy because there is no need for that. I choose this. I can fully acknowledge I could never be a stay at home mom. I’d eat my young after about three days. I thrive on deadlines and stress and jobs and balancing things and being respected outside of being a mother.

THAT is what I should have said to her when she wanted my sympathy. In that moment, I actually felt guilty for having the “luxury” of having an outside job….and that’s insane. We all make choices. They are all hard. Don’t say you’d kill for a moment in my shoes when you’ve never walked in them.

They’re five inch heels baby – and not just anybody can do it.

(me and my five inch heels are getting off my soapbox now)5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Blogland has been a bit quirky with the whole commenting issue thing. I keep finding new bloggers and that’s been super fun! People are so creative and I have blog envy big time.

In real life – guess what? Today is my bestie’s birthday!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY….I love you more every day.

Nothing up for the long weekend since Rambo works but we hope to get out on the Harley today after he gets off. My jewelry party ended with $1507 in sales so I got a lot of free jewelry and my brother was in a magazine for being one of the top 20 hottest single men in his city so that was kinda cool. I got new shoes and am getting hair highlights today…but my new purse hasn’t come yet!

Love to you all!


Laura Belle said...

I think on #3 that you already do all those things...on here. Yes, you don't get paid for it and there's no cushy couches, but you do help people on here, whether you think so or believe so.

Anyway, didn't mean to get gooshy, just wanted to get that out there.

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

I have been a stay at home mom and worked full time. I must say that for me, staying home was harder for many reasons. While I'm home, I always feel like I should be doing more...more laundry more cleaning more everything and I found it so difficult to say no to volunteer commitments because people would be thinking "it's not like she has a job or anything!" When I went to work full time, I found I actually had more time during the day for myself. It's weird, they are both hard, but I prefer to work outside of the home.

Trisha said...

I loved the story about your shoes and toe nail polish!! how fun and random!!

Cat's Chic Chat said...

Wow!! Great BYOC and I'll definately be doing this one this afternoon. I'm leaving work at Noon today (5 mins) so I don't have time to do it right now!

Ice Queen said...

This is a good BYOC. I am off to answer, now. (Even tho I actually have other stuff I should be doing... :P)

Sweet Pea said...

This is my fist time participating in BYOC !

FitBy40 said...

I was a stay at home Mom until hubby lost his job and now I'm working more and more. I can tell you, I don't get time off from being wife and mother just because I go to work with grown-ups all day. I still have to do all the laundry and most of the cleaning. He does all the surface stuff, like washing the dishes, but I still do all the deep cleaning. You're right, it's 3 jobs. So, I've been in both worlds, and I prefer to be the stay at home mom for sure!

Losing It said...

Hot topics Draz. Felt good to get some of that off my chest too!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Hey, Draz. I'm going to comment here instead of reblogging as I'm pretty down today and don't feel like doing it. I can speak to the stay at home mom thing. I spent about 6 years as a single mom and was working full-time. When Dail and I got married I worked part time off and on but mostly stayed home with the kids. My son is grown and I stay home with him now as he requires supervision. Don't remember if I mentioned it but he is autistic and mentally challenged. He shouldn't be without supervision. It was hard working all those years and being a single mom. I had no time to be the best mom because my job was working with other people's children. I got burned out really fast. Staying home was different though. It is true that I can come and go as I please, except that I don't have my own car but I can keep my own schedule. I am able to visit the hair and nail salons and have lunch with friends occasionally. Things I couldn't always do if I was working. I see my daughter who is working full-time, raising 2 children and is also a full-time student and I don't know how she manages. I think for sure, the greater challenge is juggling work and family.

MandaPanda said...

I can HONESTLY say that I think both jobs are equally hard. I think I get a good viewpoint because I work outside the home and my sister is a stay at home mom. I'd go crazy being my kids day in and day out (both of her children are too young to be in school yet). However, I do envy the quality time she gets to spend with her kids and how she'll be available to chaperone field trips, volunteer in the classrooms, etc. when they are in school as to I have to say no to these things. Meanwhile, she thinks I have it so tough because I have to go to work AND take care of the household when I get home but thinks it's nice that if I take a day off, my oldest is in school and the youngest is in daycare so I can actually take a day completely OFF and engage in adult conversation every day. There are pros and cons to both. Some people just aren't suited for one or the other.

MandaPanda said...

Just wanted to add that both sides suffer from the guilt thing too. I suffer from working mom's guilt about not being able to always get off for certain things for my daughters' stuff (classroom parties, storytime at the library, etc.) and for relying others take care of them during the day. My sister has stay at home mom's guilt about not "contributing more outside the home" (not really sure what's so great about that) and feeling bad when her kids drive her crazy and sometimes feeling that she spends quantity time with her kids but not quality time because she's kinda fed up by the end of the day as to where I miss my kids all day and then want to spend more time with them. None of us can win. OK...sorry for babbling. Should've just done a blogpost of my own. LOL

diane said...

The thing is, I think you ARE a stay at home life coach...I get a lot out of all your posts...they really make me think so I think you are already doing it (in addition to all your other jobs/roles!)