Friday, June 24, 2011

A shoe fairy tale of sorts.

I have a little story to tell.

This is how I get back at people at work who annoy me.

There once was a princess (um, yes…just let me a princess for one story please) who LOVED shoes.

Any kind. Classy kinds. Hippy dippy kinds. Flats. And especially heels.

One day, this princess wore her favorite stripper heels to work and when she got to work she realized her lovely feet were sweating inside her beloved shoes.

(Because dear princess had forgotten to spray the bottoms of her feet with aerosol deodorant.)

This was a tragedy. A shock. An unbearable circumstance.

There is no way the princess could walk around with her feet stinking up the place. There were too many other not-so-pleasant smells in the office already causing certain people to vomit and run screaming.

She wanted her feet to smell of roses. Or Skittles. But roses would do.

The situation had to be remedied.

So the princess put on her gas mask and promptly entered the bathroom at work to find a solution.

To her dismay, there was no aerosol deodorant….only solid.

The princess deliberated for a second and then decided,
“What the hell? My feet are gloriously clean. It’s no biggie.”

And she promptly wiped the deodorant all over the bottom of her just minutes ago sweaty feet.
Done and done.

If the princess had known who the deodorant had belonged to, she would have apologized profusely and bought a replacement but that’s a mystery that will never be solved.
Sure it is.

(for my new followers - Martha Stewart is my nickname for a co-worker who ACTS like Martha Stewart)

The princess went back to her desk and no one ever found out about the sweaty feet or the deodorant.

She remains “Goddess of the Shoes”.
In her own little ridiculous head anyway.
Like how I just switched from Princess to full-blown Goddess there?

Problem solved. World conquered.

Then the Princess went on to marry her Prince.  You might recognize him.

And they lived happily ever after. 

The end.

Seriously - this is almost better than Beauty and the Beast, right?


AutumnLeaves said...

Fabulous, dahlink! I love a happy ending.

Jacquie said...

I will be at your Broadway Opening! Hey, it could have been a whole lot worse for Martha if 'Explosive Man' got an epiphany one day and used the deodorant for another alternate use!

Joanna said...

This is definitely heading the the Classics section.... be ready for Disney to contact you about this!!

LOL - that was great!!

Ali said...

PERFECT story to start TGIF! Thanks for sharing with us.
PS...never thought of putting solid deoderant on my feet. GREAT idea. Going to try it this morning. :-)

Ronnie said...

Teen Spirit?! That stuff doesn't even smell amazing. She's reduced to incarcerated Martha Stewart in my book.

Laura Belle said...

LOL! Oh you rock! on so many levels.

Still giggling. :-)

Banded Mommy (Angie) said...

Oh I love this story! I think I might have to read it to the little guys today. I know they will very much enjoy hearing about shoes, foot sweat and teen spirit. A lovely fairytale indeed!
I loved it. Never heard of deodorant for the foot sweat... I will officially have to start trying that.

~Lisa~ said...

Oh this one is definately a classic!! I almost spewed coffee all over the place reading this! Kinda makes me wonder why my (NOT Teen Spirit I assure you) deodorant keeps moving from place to place in our bedroom.... Uhm.. Hubs?? I need to go and his feet....

Cat said...

I love Rambo thinking about Shoe Goddess. That's my favorite part of the entire fairy tale. /nod

/swoon /swoon so romantic.

Kelly said...

So much better than Beauty & the Beast. You could say it's a little Cinderella-esque, because of the shoe metaphor. hehe

Andrea Brooks said...


Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner said...

Haha, I love this! When does the animated movie come out?

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

Love this! haha Take that Martha!

Dazee Dreamer said...

OMG. That was so hilarious. Freak woman. You were very brave to enter the restroom and then use someone elses deodorant. Very well done.