Friday, July 8, 2011

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy...the crabby, selfish version.

It’s Friday – holy orange owl boners – can you say finally???

It’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy…a couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!

I’m just telling you now – this BYOC is going to be VERY self-absorbed after the week of shitabulous crankiness I have suffered. If you want roses and gumdrop farts and rainbow poop….you should find Smurfette’s blog and read it. (can you imagine if Smurfette really blogged?)

1. If you were asked to symbolize yourself as an animal – which animal would you be?

I ask this completely selfishly because yesterday I spent half the day designing future tattoos for myself because drawing helps my mood. I decided if I ever get a tattoo to represent my brothers, I want to symbolize them as animals. That got me to thinking what I would be if I had to choose an animal for myself.

First off I decided my older brother would be a lion – the ring-leader, proud, professional, strong and caring. My younger brother would be a bear – angry as hell sometimes but deeply loyal, strong and has a heart of gold.

I know this sounds ree-dick – but you know what? I’d want to be a damn unicorn. They are graceful, pretty white with blinged out manes and sparkley horns. No one else has a horn like that so they are unique and carefree and free-spirited and beautiful and they can run like the wind. And they are a fairy tale…you know – just like living in Care Bear land.

Yup – totally a unicorn.

2. Did you ever play an organized sport – with coaches, rules and scoring? Tell us about it.

I ask this again, selfishly, because last night I played soccer for 1.5 hours. Yes – HOURS. And I didn’t need oxygen and neither did Rambo. I burned nearly 700 calories and sweat through all my clothes. And my God did it feel good. I should have played more sports in high school because I’m built like a brick shithouse BUT I had double E boobs back then and I was too embarrassed to do any kind of sports in them EXCEPT track. I was a speed runner….and won lots of medals. Now I’d rather run distance. I definitely regret not doing more though…I dare say I might have been good at it.

3. When did you start shaving your legs?

Again – you get to help me try to be a good mother and you get absolutely nothing in return. Great deal huh? My 10 year old asked the dreaded question…”Mom, when can I shave my legs?” Shit. Puberty is right around the corner, isn’t it? I ran from the bathroom. Because I’m so mature.

I think maybe I was in 5th grade…I do remember begging my mom to let me for what seemed like years before she actually said yes.

4. When you’re in a crabby – pissy – want to stab everyone you see kind of mood – what do you do to get out of it or do you revel in it?

I have to say that though I’ve been kah-rabby this week…it doesn’t really get to me like I say it does. What I mean is that no one around me even knows I’m crabby or having a hard time…I hide it well. When I feel like this, I tend to think a lot and revert back to things that truly comfort me.

I baby myself – with running or drawing or writing or bathing. I don’t do a damn thing but take care of myself and try to figure out what’s behind my mood and what I can learn from it.

And then I step on small bunnies. And throw rocks at small children who dare ride their bikes by my house.

Let’s face it – every day simply cannot be rainbows BUT even in my worst mood – in the back of my mind I NEVER lose sight of how blessed I am and how grateful I am to have what I have and to be alive. Period. Plus it’s impossible not to smile with Rambo next to me…..and new surprise Harley coats sure don’t hurt either.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Yes, well – I bet no one wants me to summarize my week in blogland. I was a true turdfiddle. Grumpy and crabby and even snotty. I cannot believe Martha Stewart is still alive. Explosive Man is on vacation or he’d be dead for sure. My dear friend Barbara is out of surgery and her outlook could teach us all a thing or two. BOOBs planning is kicking ass – you should see the SWAG you girls are going to get!

In real life – things are good. Even after the shit storm of eating that I put my body through for four days over the holiday I only have to lose 2 lbs to be at my lowest since starting Nutrisystem again. I’ve been totally on plan since the holiday and feeling great again. Can I get an AMEN?

Oh and it’s pretty obvious I miss Jenny. I feel like my left leg has been cut off since she’s on vacation. She deserves this time off though!

Tootles lovies…..


Cat said...

Unicorn. I bet the pretty birds help the Unicorns put feathers in her mane too. /nod totally you. I get it.

And gawd I wanna go to Boobs this fall. Glad you seem to be getting back on track and feeling great again. *heart u*

Amanda said...

I think I shaved my legs with out asking and cut a 6 inch long chunk out of my leg.

I musta been um maybe 5th grade. I am really proud of you for playing soccer. I think it is really cool and I bet your girls are proud. Great way to show them how to be active!

Leslie said...

I'm so bummed that I can't go to Boobs! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I want to be a hummingbird. They look like are on a caffiene high all the time.

Joanna said...

Love the questions this week!! Then again, when don't I??

Definitely agree that the unicorn fits you PERFECTLY!!

I can't wait to go and answer all these questions on my blog. :)

Hippo Nymph said... least when you're crabby you still get a Harley coat with thumbholes! Maybe this bitchy mood works for you...? :)

Definitely a unicorn!

Justawallflower said...

Amen sista!!

one huge problem though, did you really say that unicorns and living in carebare land are a fairy tale? next your going to tell me that santa is not real, nor is the tooth fairy. I can not believe you would speak such lies, I just can't. makes me want to go cry in my cereal.

Hyla said...

Have you ever heard of the narwhal? Its horn inspired the findings of unicorns. Awesome creature, look it up!

Ronnie said...

I'm so glad to have boys. No shaving drama for me until they get some facial hair! lol

Read said...

Ok first of all - check out the narwhal.. (it's got a horn too) go ahead and google it. And look at this link -
it's a picture of a unicorn with a narwhal.

2nd of all - thanks so much for all the work you're doing for Chicago - I can't wait to give you a big squeeze!!!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

I would be a cat if I were an animal. They are so strange and moody and that describes me to a T. I would love to just claw up the walls when the mood strikes me or sleep all day in the sunshine. Yes. I would be a cat.

I think I was in 6th grade when I started shaving my legs. The girls on the basketball team said something about the hair on my legs and I was so embarrassed that I didn't even ask mom about it. I just did it. I got a lot of body hair from my dad's side of the family.

When I'm really grouchy I just climb into bed and put the covers over my head and growl at everyone to leave me alone. I just turn my back on the world and wallow in my mood usually. Not healthy but it is how I deal.

Amanda Kiska said...

Greatest blogland! Smurfette here and I just wanted to say that I smurfed Papa Smurf and Brainy Smurf yesterday. It was great smurf!

Colleen said...

Here I am!

Beth Ann said...

Amen, sister! I seriously just googled Smurfette's blog, but all I got was some lady's scrapbooking blog. LAME! :)

This crazy life of mine... said...

This is awesome! I just did my own BYOC post...

Christy @ My Dirt Road Anthem: A Runner's Blog said...

I would be a pegasus, cuz not only can they run like the wind they get to fly! I started shaving my legs when I was in 7th grade, my mom would not let me before then. Luckily mu little leg hairs are pretty pale and don't really show up all that well. I never played organized sports.

Sweet Ever After said...

I reckon make her wait till high school. That's 7th grade for us in Australia. My Mum made me wait until then. I love my Mum for not letting me shave the tops of my legs too. Those hairs are almost non-existant now.

Kelly said...

I was in 5th grade when I started shaving. And I think I'd want to be a lioness, since they're the ones who lead the pride, or so I've heard

AutumnLeaves said...

I just so enjoy listening to your thoughts. I started shaving my legs when I started high school. And I shave them every day and have since then. I don't even know if I'd grow all that much hair on them if I left them alone, but I'm too grossed out by the thought to try! LOL

Bodacious Boomer said...

Sorry you had such a supremely shitty week kiddo. As for the answers:
1. Dog- for sure
2. Voleyball- I even played on a co-ed team named Mr. Bill into my late 20's
3. I was 4.5 yrs and a hairy little thing
4. I curse like a pirate on crack and eat birthday cake
5.Went on a mini vakay with my BF. Craziness ensued. Come say hi at my place and read all about it.