Monday, August 8, 2011

LOOK LOOK...OMG....LOOK!!!!

So?????? Um did you see it? Did you see it?

MY NEW BLOG DESIGN!!!!!!!!!!

It’s ME – bathing in a freaking bathtub of Skittles – Skittles overflowing on to the damn floor - thank you very much!

And chained to my luscious heel-clad legs are the infamous Drazil and Sheniqua.

Yes, folks – I do bathe fully clothed and with heels on and with my hair curled.
I can’t believe you didn’t know that.

Check out Sheniqua’s new tattoo…it says “Rambo”….how cool huh?
Completely Jenny’s idea.

And Care Bear Land clouds and rainbows sprouting everywhere….

And on the side bar you’ll even find Rambo himself, and me farting gumdrops, Watermelon and Banana, purses and shoes and Explosive Man and JENNY!

Jenny in her famous ponytail and her laptop designing away and emailing me –
talking me off cliffs 24 hours a day.

I even have ME in a bathtub as a signature.

And ME in a new avatar holding a to die for shoe!

A new “grab a button” with Draz in the tub with me. He can never let me just have anything to myself. A new Rainbow Skittle followers headline and a new “best color on earth” background. New fonts on top that match my blog title and little gumdrops and Skittles in places you don’t even realize unless you really look! So duh – go really look…you won’t be sorry.

I mean it’s freaking fabulous. I’m not kidding. I randomly just pull up my blog and stare at
this thing for HOURS.
It’s sick and twisted and super fun and the first day I saw it I cried big fat weepy snot dripping tears.

It’s seriously one of theee nicest, most personal things anyone has ever done for me.

You can’t imagine the work, talent, skill and amount of detail and care (not to mention the sheer amount of mouse clicks just to change a color of something) Jenny puts into these things…until you sit behind her for hours like some 5 year old and ask her to change even the teeniest tiniest little thing.

After the third hour she punched me in the left tit. I totally deserved it.

But it was soooo worth it right? I mean Jesus, Mary and Bart – have you ever seen a blog design done better? Nope – not even if she did yours. This one takes the cake I’m telling you.

Now if you’d like – you could hire her and tell her “make mine better than Draz’s” but secretly we have this deal that she is not allowed to make anyone’s better than mine ….so neener neener boo on you.

She will however, kick ass and make you want to lick your blog screen all damn day.

Except if you put Explosive Man all over it…I mean did you really look at him?
He looks like a sneaky asshole wearing his blaze orange thinking,
“Did anyone just hear me explode in this toilet?”
ACK! He’s freaking perfect right?

Aahhh – I’m just in heaven – I mean Care Bear Land….hanging out with all my sidebar friends.
Rest assured you’ll be seeing the people in the sidebar show up in my posts more and more now
that they have “faces” to go with their names courtesy of Jenny.

You guys cannot imagine the blog material I have after spending the weekend with Jenny.
It involves being naked and a small Chinese lady who - no lie - straddled me,
while Jenny nearly collapsed in laughter.

I can’t make this shit up. Stay tuned.

In the mean time – feel free to lick my screen.
People across America will all be doing it today. I should charge a fee.

A “my best friend kicks your best friend’s ass” fee. Yes?

Jenny?

I love you.
Like men love women who pour drinks while they hula hoop.

43 comments:

Dawnya said...

It's freaking AWESOME!!! I love it. Now Jenny has to re-design my blog so it's better than yours. LOL

Glad you had a great weekend with your Bestie. I'm sure it made up for all the bad days.

Ronnie said...

The new layout is amazing, I love it! So much to take in, and I know everybody! (Hallelujah!) Jenny is a rockstar. :)

Jen said...

And I love you more than White Cheese Sauce!

Stephanie said...

It looks fabulous!!! That Jenny sure is handy to have around...and she loves you more than White Cheese Sauce. DAMN!!! Oh and you have a care package headed your way in the mail today! :)

Cat said...

OH MY GOD!!! I seriously can only see the banner at the top right now. Damn IT security people! Oh wait, that's my department...well, not security but IT. Anyway I cannot wait to drool all over my laptop when I get home tonight. I can see THE most important part though which is you in your bathtub, bathing in skittles. All is right with the world!

Camille said...

Looks GREAT!! Love it!

Cat said...

Also - I think I want to lick the screen already just because of your shoes in the tub! :)

Bodacious Boomer said...

Your new site is beyond great. I'm so happy/jealous for you.

Fluffy said...

I'm pouting. All I'm gonna say is: JEALOUS!

Well, except to Jenny - Awesome job!!!

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

I love, love, love all the graphics on the sidebar. Way to go Jenny!

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

Amazing!

Lap Band Gal said...

So adorable!!! :)

Amanda said...

LOVE the new layout! And the sidebar freaking rocks.

Ice Queen said...

I just grabbed your new button. :D

I am getting such a kick out of watching you enjoy your new blog design.

Fat in Suburbia said...

I love it! I sent Jenny an email to hire her to do mine!

Elizabeth said...

Love!!

Dizzy Girl said...

Cute!!! Love it!

~Lisa~ said...

Excellent layout!! I love, love, LOVE it!! Way to go, Jenny!!

Nella said...

LOVE IT!

WishfulShrinking said...

Super Cute!

Bridget said...

I LOVE it! It's absolutely awesome and so is Jenny!

MandaPanda said...

Love the new look!

Beth Ann said...

Excellent! Jenny has outdone herself with this one. :) Bravo!

Stacey said...

Love the new layout! It is soooo you! Jenny did a great job as always. :)

Cece said...

Love it ! I felt like a kid in a candy store, er I mean a skittle store ... so much to see :)

Darlin1 said...

NIIIIIIIIICE!!

Leslie said...

I love it!! Seriously awesome!!

Ms. M said...

Totally love it!!!!

Joey said...

I LOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!! Jenny is truly talented. I wish we were neighbors so we could tag-team.

dede said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!
dede

Liz said...

It's so YOU!!! Perfect!

TGIWWF! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
This crazy life of mine... said...

Love, love, love it! It's so colorful, and fun, and sassy. Perfect!! =)

Sandy Lee said...

You're as adorable as ever. Keep farting those gumdrops--they are so full of calories.

Stephanie M. said...

Adorable!!!

kagead said...

Absolutely FAB! Love it, love it, love it!

Dazee Dreamer said...

To freaking cute!!!!!

Debi said...

LOL....I Love It!!! :)

Julie Harmon said...

LOVE the new design!

Joanna said...

It really is the coolest blog design I've ever seen... TOTALLY JEALOUS!!! But, I LOVE IT!! Look - caps..that means I'm yelling it!!

Andrea said...

LOVE IT!

Food Freak said...

It's absolutely YOU!! I think this design is perfect for your writing style--it's all of a piece. Great job.

Jacquie said...

It is 1000% you! I love it and you!