Thursday, September 15, 2011

Updates bullet style...

My brain is too shot to form coherent, full paragraphs so I’ll be doing bullets today.


• Here’s an update on Banana. She has successfully gotten on the bus every day this week. Two of four of those days she’s had tears streaming down her soft little cheeks. No fits or tantrums or screaming. Just long streams of tears and a little voice that says, “Mommy, I don’t want to go.” She could just as easily rip my heart out of my chest and put it in a meat grinder but she chooses to go the tear route. BUT she gets on the bus anyway and the teacher reports that for the most part she has a good day. She gets misty-eyed a few times and hangs with her big sis at recess. Thank God for Watermelon – who has also agreed to sit by her on the bus because Banana is scared.

• You’d all be so proud of me. I actually did a good mom thing. I wrote Watermelon a special note and put it on her pillow so she’d find it. I told her that Banana was lucky to have her as a sister and we were lucky to have her as a daughter and thanked her for her help with Banana during these first few weeks of school. She came in and said thank you and her eyes were filled with tears. I know she’ll keep that note forever. I need her to know that this is how it’s supposed to be between siblings. My own brother wouldn’t even claim me and it hurt my very soul and I felt alone at school when I didn’t have to be. I never want that for my girls.

• I successfully completed the overnight Harley ride last weekend. I have pictures of the packing debacle. I’d also like to report that 4 days later Rambo STILL has a cracked, froggy voice. Why? Oh well, my friends, that is because he was horking up his guts Sunday morning from too many drinky treats Saturday night. More on that later.

• This weekend Rambo is competing in a Warrior Dash race. We’re taking the girls to a hotel and swimming the night before. That may or may not have been part of a bribe to get Banana to stop crying each day before school.

• After that – is a wedding. Did I mention my social anxiety levels are off the charts these days? My body is just one big ass hive.

• I made a jungle-themed diaper/blanket cake complete with lizards and tigers and zebras for a pregnant friend of mine the other night. I took pictures…I’ll post them soon if they turned out.

My mother-in-law chatted with me on Facebook the other night and when signing off she said, “Goodbye. Hopefully we’ll see you SOME DAY. We never see you anymore.” Thank you. That was a great guilt trip. Newsflash. I haven’t even seen my own damn self in weeks. I replied that I’m so busy I don’t have time to pee so I’ve installed my own catheter and that it sucks but I’m desperate and that I’ll visit when I can.

• Lastly – a little perspective – prison style. Last night Rambo and I had swapped funny stories about our day. I had what I thought was a pretty good accounting piss me off error nightmare story. His story? Well, I should know they always top mine by now. An inmate beeped him on the intercom. Told Rambo he needed to see psych because he was having thoughts of hurting himself.

Rambo said, “Are you going to kill yourself?”

Inmate said, “Maybe. I’m just having bad thoughts because I’m getting out in a few months so I might kill myself.”

Rambo said, “Wait a minute. You’re telling me you’re getting out and so you want to kill yourself? What’s really going on?”

The inmate proceeded to clarify himself – which ended up meaning that a different doc had pissed off the inmate by telling him no about something else so the inmate was doing the “I’m suicidal” thing to get a different doc (psych) to see him to see if they’d give him what he wanted. All part of the game. Which Rambo stopped. Which psych, the doc and the Unit Mgr were all very happy he did but still – he comes home with “I talked a guy out of suicide today – what did you do?”

Um – I balanced receivables. Go me.

Those prisoners are lucky I don’t work there. Turns out the guy is a sexual predator. Once I found that out and he told me he was thinking of hurting himself – my response would have been, “Hold on – let me get you a sharper knife.”

Finally – I have to say I’m sorry. Life has been sucking a big fat chubby pecker lately. Well, not bad – just swamped. Chaotic if you will. Chicken with my head cut off 24/7 if I’m honest. My heart is with Banana every day. My head is everywhere but where it should be. My body is exhausted and worn down. And so I’ve been off the grid comment-wise and I’m sorry. I will catch up – I promise.

Oh and and my fellow BOOBies....after today the next 5 days will be features for the planners (Linda, Stef, Joey, Deb and Jenny) so if anyone has anything they want to contribute to those just let me know right away and I'll add it!  Thanks!

30 comments:

Miss April said...

Your bullets ARE paragraphs.........

Ronnie said...

Take some time and do what you need to do for your sanity, sweetie. Or keep blogging and tell us about it to work through it. Either way, do what makes you happy! We <3 you.

Lynda said...

I am so proud of your Watermelon! My big sister looked out for me in school--and she is still my best friend. I would be lost without her.

Amanda said...

my heart just melts when I think of Watermelon being a little protector. My sister is my best friend but she was a big freakin pest when I was younger and I was a big freaking brat for not being nice to her!

Jessica said...

Your girls are just so cute!! I wish I had a big sister :)

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

You have a darling family. B & W are lucky to have each other (and of course you and Rambo).

Stacey said...

Big chubby peckers are never a bad thing. I think if life was sucking tiny unsatisfying button peckers, that would be worse. :)

Hope it all gets better for ya and can't wait to see you in Chicago!

Dawnya said...

Watermelon is my shero!!! She is such an awesome sister. The letter you wrote her was awesome...so she always know she was loved and appreciated. You effing rock!!

Fat in Suburbia said...

Your bullets are paragraphs! I've been thinking about little Banana and am glad she is doing better. Still hate those tears though.

~Lisa~ said...

I LOVED reading about the note on the pillow.. How beautiful...

(((huggggssss))) to you

Ms. M said...

The note on the pillow is so sweet. I remember when my Mom used to do that when I was little... and yes I still have the notes.

Loves you :)

MandaPanda said...

(((HUGS))) I know how it feels when our kids are hurting and there's nothing we can do. Things are bound to get better though. And you're raising a very sensitive and wonderful little girl in Watermelon. I'm sure she'll treasure that note always. I'm thinking of doing a Warrior Dash in April but it looks HARD!

Sarah said...

I love your blog! Like, LOVE your honesty. And I'm sure you're accounting story was good, because I do accounting on the side ---and some days I'd like to jab my bosses in the neck with a pen! In the nicest way possible, of course.... :)

Sorry things are so shit-astic lately. I know all about that. Do two things for me. Click here: www.fightbackforcole.com and here: www.facebook.com/fightbackforcole It could always be worse. :) (That child, by the way, is my son.)

Sarah

Laurie said...

How many times have I wanted to sharpen the knife for my pain in the ass clients? Right now I want to sharpen it for my boss.
Poor banana.
Good luck w/ the wedding.

mallory said...

That is the cutest thing I have ever heard! I was such I biotch to my sister when she was younger, I should call her to apologize. Geez, way to make me feel guilty!

Joanna said...

Aww, that was such a great thing you did for Watermelon.

She's a great sister - any chance I could borrow her for a couple of weeks so that I could see if maybe some of her big sister love will rub off on my Peanut?

Don't get me wrong, Peanut is a great back-up mom to Jelly...it's the relationship with Butter that could use some SERIOUS repair. Watermelon would be perfect. When can I pick her up?

Camille said...

I love the way your girls are taking care of each other. My sister is still my number one fan, my biggest ally, and my strongest protector. It never goes away.

Miz said...

note to self: avoid MIL on Facebook. I have enough guilt these days and mine would be precisely the same way.

xo

AutumnLeaves said...

My granddaughters are very close and that always makes me so happy. My own girls were not and it tears me apart. What is a BOOBie?

Ice Queen said...

I'm with you, give the asshole a nice, sharp knife and let him get to it.

I only comment sporadically. Not because I am as busy as you are but because I suck. lol

Banana will adjust. Just needs to work it through in her own time. Until then, the support you and her sis are giving her is just the ticket. I am so proud of her for getting through it, she is so strong and determined. <3

Cat said...

I absolutely love Watermelon. I love that you wrote her a special note to let her know that you not only noticed, but you really appreciate the help she's offered to Banana. My sister always treated me as the bratty kid sister for so many years, that when the tables turned and I actually had my shit together she came to me for comfort and advice, it is all I can do sometimes to genuinely listen. I never really had a big sister that was a friend and comfort, so I'm so happy for Banana that she's got a great one in Watermelon.

Also - yes, sharper knives for that dude really. /nod

Joey said...

Awww....I love that siblingness! My brother is my best friend. I think I should go call him now :)

I love you Twinkie!

Fat in Suburbia said...

Shout out alert!

http://fatinsuburbia.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-first-blog-award.html

Mary said...

You need some you time pronto... immerge yourself in the bathtub rainbow. :)

Bodacious Boomer said...

Hope your life settles down soon young one and Banana starts each day with smiles, not tears.

Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner said...

Your daughters sound wonderful...I love that you are doing so much to encourage them to be together and treasure that relationship!
Also...lots of "and I took pictures" in this post....hmm..I'll believe it when I see it!
:)

JRD said...

Draz, I big purple puffy sparkly heart you. Thanks for your comment the other day on my Liebster award post - you are such an inspiration. I hope you are able to take care of yourself - it sounds like it's a tough time right now, and I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you...sending hugs and love from Montreal!

Cat said...

So weird hon. I saw a new post for you about Rambo's warrior dash then I couldn't access it. Strange!

Sarah Grecco said...

I've got blog ADD so bullet points rock. Thank you!! Your blog is quite funny

Your daughters sound cool....

xo
Sarah
Get Up & Go

Cece said...

I read MANY good things that you do as a Mom .. not just one :) Just to let you know I read about good Mom things you do all of the time :)