Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The weird that only happens in Podunk.

Lastly, you all know that I live in Podunk, USA right? Well – here’s an oddity that I never thought of happening until Banana entered kindergarten. It is very strange indeed. And only happens in Podunk circumstances.

Banana has a boy in her class. Shocking I know. Stay with me here.

That boy’s father is my first boyfriend and the first guy I kissed. That boy’s father is one of the kindest, hardest working and still hottest men I know. We are still friends.

I like his wife. We are friends too. She started dating him when I broke up with him and she’s a good mother and person and community member.

Problem is – I’m pretty sure he’s still in love with who we used to be togeteher. As it turns out, he’s not all that happy with his marriage. And when we go to town events and I stop to chat with him he says things like, “You used to wear that perfume when we dated. You still smell so good.”

Um nope – wrongzo – but whatever. I do change my perfume regularly goofball – that was over 20 years ago.

And if we’re somewhere where music is on he’s been known to say to me, “we danced to this song back in so and so at so and so’s party”. Um yup – sure….like I remember that.

It’s not dangerous. Stop freaking out. Rambo knows this guy too. They are classmates and friends and they respect each other even if Rambo knows how he feels about me. This guy is decent – therefore Rambo knows there is no danger. Good marriage or not – this guy is the kind of guy that commits to his family forever. Small, reminiscent comments are the beginning and end of any “us” there ever will be.

It’s a standing joke with my friends from town even. I was at the football game Friday and he walked by me and of course one of my old friends saw him walk by and of course, she turns around to give me “the look”……..like it’s my fault or something.

Anywhoozle – I have this nagging fear that some day Banana and his son will date. I mean it’s Podunk – it’s GOING to happen. There aren’t many choices in small towns and everyone dates everyone at some point really. Won’t that be freaking weird?

Yes – these are the things I think about.

AND – let’s be clear. This guy is in love with who I was to him way back then. He’s in love with who he thinks I am and who he thinks I became. If he spent even 4 hours of real time with me – he’d be over me – trust me. There ain’t nothing special here that’s for sure.

It actually makes me sad. He’s a really great guy and I always wished he’d find what Rambo and I did. He deserved that. Hell – everyone deserves that.

So let’s reminisce. Got any quirky ex-boyfriend stories to share? Any that involve your kids now that you never ever thought you'd deal with? 

It's just cra-cra....

That is all.  Peace out my Skittles.


Amanda said...

My boyfriend whom I loved in highschool is a douche. But we live in the same town. I am way cooler then him. Ha

But being that I live in stixx too. It is Doctors that freak me the heck out. I know the nurses, the doctors, everyone. And I trust none of them. The docs I was bestfriends with their kids, or I dated them or I hated them. I don't want them looking at my regions...the nurses I went to school with..and they all flippn talk.

Forget doc/patient confidentiality I don't think it exists in small towns!

Kyla said...

I had the same sort of thing.

A boy that was in love with highschool me. Who I never gave the time of day to until well after highschool. B.c I had to get out of highschool to realize how AWESOME he was.

At our first kiss and he kept saying, "Oh my god, I can't believe I am kissing you. Oh my god." Then I really fell for him.

Then I think he realized that adult me was not as cool as highschool me and he dumped me. Quickly.

speck said...


A man's a man....he would hook up with you in a minute! lol

As for my first boyfriend who dumped me....I see him ocassionally uptown. One particular time at the grocery store he said, "I really messed up. Just think I could be married to you right now". I thought I would die. As I stared at him, I was thinking HELL NO! lol

Samantha said...

My ex whom I dated for basically my entire college career (which I so now regret) still emails me frequently. A few years ago he got married (not sure why he never seemed that happy) .. and ONE week after they got married he was not so subtly hinting at wanting to "hook up" with me. Yeah, so not happening.

Barbara said...

I have come to learn .. men think with one head..

Bridget said...

My ex (my son's father) who is remarried, has now started saying things like that to me since husband number two walked out a month ago. It's kind of creepy, because...um NO. I finally had to tell him that I did not feel like strolling down memory lane with him every time I called to discuss our child. Hopefully he will take the hint.

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

No ex stories here. In fact, I hardly ever see them. Thank gawd for that.

Let him hold a torch for you. It's harmless, right? Just don't let him get it near your feather extensions. ;) haha

Laurie said...

Oh dear Facebook. You have relit my old torch. I may stalk a bit, but there is no harm in memories, right?

Janis said...

He's in love with his own youth.

The only creepy thing that I ever had BF-wise was a dude that I shouldn't have dated for a long time but did. After we broke up, I hung up the phone with a huge sense of relief.

Until literally something like fifteen YEARS later when he went OUT OF HIS WAY to come up to me in a restaurant and start following me on my daily walk at work and telling me about his life. Dude, if I cared, we wouldn't have broken up. Then, he started sending me pictures of his new baby. o_O Again ... did it not sink in all those years ago that I don't give a shit about babies? And why the hell is he all up about me when he's got a wife and kid at home?

My workplace moved a couple miles away so that I now can walk at lunchtime work without thus dude following me around anymore. Jesus.

Laura Belle said...

I had to move away from 'home' to get away from all my old boyfriends. And I refuse to go back. Ever. Too scary (in a funny scary 'I might run into 12 of my exes in one sitting' kind of way). Maybe I shouldn't have been such a hussy in high school. Nah, it was too much fun!

Lisa Mancini said...

Hey! I have an award for you on my blog.

Bodaciousboomer said...

Tread carefully young one. You know how easy it is for men to get confused.

AutumnLeaves said...

But still...I love small podunk towns! Wish I'd grown up in one myself!

Banded Mommy (Angie) said...

Soo I still talk to many of my old bf on FB. We all get along for the most part and my husband knows that we still talk. I actually like it. It brings back memories...ones that I like to always remember. I love seeing them all grown up now and with kids and stuff. It makes me realize that they were immature dicks back then and that they can grow up and actually love someone for realz. There is only one guy that I dated that if I would ever see him again I would have to kick him in the balls. He was the first one I lived with. I moved 1500 miles to be with him after I graduated college and he decided to tell me 8 months after I lived there that he actually did not love me. So that douch can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner said...

Can I just say--you're lucky Rambo is such a great guy. I know lots of men who would not be so cool with the situation. Glad there's no drama there.
An ex of mine, who I lived with, recently married a close friend from high school. She invited me to the wedding, never once mentioned the fact that we used to live together and dated for YEARS and just tried to make everything cool. I suppose it was nice of her...but it's just awkward. No ifs or buts about it, and I can't handle that level of awkward social outing!

Maria said...

I used to date my hubby's college roommate. We are all still friends and they work together. Another guy I dated also worked with them briefly. There was one night I met hubs at the bar with a bunch of work people and ended up sitting at a table with all three of them. AWKWARD!

Tina said...

Goodness..I did the facebook think with one old boyfriend from high school-he was such a jerk (in general) and ranted so often I finally had to delete him. My daughters all got on and checked him out stating-whats with the child molester guy you have as a friend mom...My response..um well that was the first guy I kissed...I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole these days. There are a couple of others I would like to know about (what they are up to etc.) but never ever to go out again. I would also think it was creepy if our kids dated.

In a small town you might be stuck though.

Sandy Lee said...

I think you will need to send Banana far awhile to a all-girl Catholic school where boys are banned until they are 21. Rambo will be happy. See ya soon.

Camille said...

My 3 year old's bff is a boy named "Beau"! Seriously. It can always be worse.