Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Orgasm in a box.

Soooo my birthday suckhole extravaganza is ovah but my gifts will last a lifetime.

Let me tell you how the big birthday went down.

I worked - but only for 3 hours. 
I mean who the hell can concentrate on their birthday anyway?

As soon as I got home, I saw a box sitting on the steps. 

On the outside it was marked PERISHABLE...in big letters. 

Perishable?  What the what?

You better believe I stabbed that sucker open and I found this cute box and in it was a...


Did you just have an orgasm?  I did. 

Yes, again.

Who are the brilliant mother-effers who came up with this?

Yes, yes.  Birds sang.  The heavens parted.  St. Peter slapped his own ass and even cried.

Are you ready to see what's inside this - this incredible edible thing of beauty? 
This shall we say "paradise in a box"?

Okay - brace yourself.

Jesus frick right?

Yup...that's an entire solid chocolate pizza covered in M&Ms, gummi bears and sprinkles.

Before I ate it.

Now it just looks like this.

And no - I will not be letting the candy left in the box go to waste.  Please do not worry.

The "nutritional" label said there was 20 servings.  Yah, maybe if I was a midget smurf.

You guessed it.  Jenny sent me this lovely gift.

Either she knows me well and loves me a lot or she likes it when
Sheniqua looks more like a heifer than just a muffin top.

Oh oh and THEN?

A few hours later I got another delivery!

Inside was a red box.  A beautiful red box with a little card in it that read:

Whether lifelong confidants or newfound pals, this necklace is a symbol of the unspoken bond between friends.  Wear it as a reminder of the unwavering support, laughter, and companionship the two of you share - no matter how many weeks or miles may separate you.

Inside was a star necklace. 

Here's a not so great picture of it on my neck.

Don't you love the teeny star halfway up the necklace? 

And the big star? 

It says this:

Friends are like stars.  You don't always see them. (on the front)
But you always know they are there. (on the back)

It's gorgey!  I freaking love it.

Wanna know the weirdest thing?  I have been looking for a star necklace forevah...but I never told Jenny.

Then I open this and I see a star necklace?  I about passed out.

Unbelievable I tell you.

I wore it all weekend and THREE people commented on it.

Oh bestie - you outdid yourself.

I'm not sure how I'll outdo a solid chocolate pizza followed by jewelry...

....but it is my mission to try.

(insert evil laugh)


Sandy Lee said...

Yum. And because it was your birthday, you didn't have to share that chocolate delight with us. Go forth and shine like a star, because you are!

Joanna said...

Holy cow - those were some awesome gifts!!

I love reading about the relationship you and Jenny have...it's truly a match made in heaven. Gives me curly, girly flutters in my stomach.

Now, I must find where I can buy a chocolate pizza!!

Amanda said...

Love both gifts you lucky lil devil!

Laura Belle said...

Wow. After seeing that chocolate wonderland, my oatmeal this morning tastes like dirt.

And I love the necklace! It's sooo you.
Jenny's such a great lady!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Both you and Jenny are lucky to have each other. I am too reclusive with my disorder to have a bestie. I do things with my daughters but most of my friends are online friends. It is hard for me to get to know people in real life.

I love the presents Jenny sent you. What a great friend she is. Hsppy Birthday, Drazil. I'm glad it was such a special day for you.

Jessica said...

Aww I love the gifts from your bestie!

My breakfast also tastes like crap after looking at that pizza!

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

Chocolate pizza is pure genius. Mmm!

Dawnya said...

Your BFF is the bomb.com. She knows you like no other. The bday gifts rock.

I'm so glad your day went well.

Miss April said...

That pizza looks like a cavity waiting to happen, but delicious nonetheless. That necklace is supa cute!!!! I think it would go well with rhinestone lashes. Yeah, I still can't get over those, so wear them soon and post pics! :)

Fat in Suburbia said...

You've been awarded!

Bridget said...

Oh my gosh, that necklace is wonderful and that pizza looks yummilicious!! What a wonderful birthday :)

RockBand Barbie said...

I almost had an orgasm just looking at that :-) What a fab BFF you have!

Andrea said...

LOVE the necklace! And chocolate pizza...amazing!!!

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