Monday, October 10, 2011

Watermelon's mistake.

It's no secret that I often question my mothering skills.  So when I get the opportunity to be a real, bonafide, actual mother - I get scared and exhilerated all at once.  Yes, yes - I'm a mother 24/7 but there are "instances" when my pink plaid mama balls of steel are necessary vs. say...deciding whether or not to feed them cookies for supper.

This "instance" I'm going to describe still shocks me.  Watermelon made a mistake.  A big, fat one.  The thing is - I'm having a really hard time being mad about it because I'm shocked at the balls it took for her to make this mistake. 

Never, ever would I have done such a thing.  The thought wouldn't have even crossed my mind.  Not at 10 years old anyway.

So I'm stuck between being mad and proudly shocked at her.

And then there's my reaction - which I am super proud about.  Yup, I said it.  I'm proud of how I reacted as a mother.  Crazy, isn't it?

Watermelon was at volleyball practice the other night.  Apparently the coach told the girls to bump the ball and Watermelon and 2 other girls set the ball instead.  The coach made the 3 girls sit out along the wall. 

Now - I do NOT agree with a 10 year old in her first year of volleyball sitting out for making an error BUT I'm not the coach so whatever. 

Watermelon says a lot of time went by.  She got more mad and more mad.  She got up, called Rambo and told him to come get her. 

Rambo just thinks practice is over early so he goes to get her.  He has no idea what's really going on.

I got home and Watermelon tells me what she did.  She freaking left practice without telling her Dad why AND never said a word to her coach.  What the holy hell?

Guess what I did?  Everything in me wanted to tell Watermelon she did wrong, yell at her and then be done.

BUT.....yours truly who MANY believe sucks at being a mother - grabbed my keys, told Watermelon to put her volleyball clothes back on and get in the car.  I told her she would need to apologize to her Coach and finish practice.

Now she was scared.  She said, "Will you hold my hand?"

I said NOPE.  You make adult choices - you deal with the adult consequences.  You're strong enough to deal with this.  I'll be standing right next to you.

She looked at me and said, "I don't know if I should laugh or cry." as we walked into school.

Truth be told, I didn't want to make her do this.  If it were me, I'd have been a sobbing, hive-filled mess.  I would seriously not have been able to speak.  Literally.

The Coach came out and as expected - she said, "I didn't even know you left.  What happened?"

They had a discussion.  I stood there.  The only thing I said was that even if you don't agree with your Coach - she is your Coach - and you have to listen to her.

Watermelon never shed a tear.  I couldn't believe it.

Then I left Watermelon there to finish practice.  I never looked back. 

I went back at the end of practice and she was fine.  I was fine.  It was over.

But dammit - I was a real mom in this instance.  I did the hard thing.  I did the right thing. 

And I swear Watermelon learned a good lesson. 

Sometimes I can get it right. 

I'd love to alert the media but "good" mothers do this every day it seems. 

32 comments:

Something About Kellie said...

Now that is parenting! Gold star :)

Joanna said...

I think that was a perfect remedy to the situation. It sounded like she took it perfectly, too. Good for you, Mama!!

MrsFatass said...

Wow. Good for you. And Watermelon. You guys did it.
I'm in awe.

Vanessa said...

Wow~! That is great. I would have been shaking and crying...

Anonymous said...

You both did awesome!!!

Band Groupie said...

AWESOME job! You did the hard thing, and so did Watermelon...and learned a lesson perfectly, and the world didn't end. Great Mom!

Oh, and I loved the sex shop recap LOL...too funny (I'm a virgin too)! Wish we'd had more time together! ((hugs))

Jessica said...

You are an amazing mother... Dont let anyone tell you differently.

I would have been a total sobbing mess too...

Bonnie said...

WOW watermelon is in a 10 year old's body but sounds like she is super grown up at handling shitty situations.....

WTG mom for raising such a wonderful little girl, and giving her the opportunity to handle a situation like an adult.....you should be very proud of her and YOURSELF!!!!!!

Gilly said...

Nice one!!

Fat in Suburbia said...

Awesome lesson learned. Wear your shiny great mommy badge proudly this week!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

You both did good, Draz. It was a difficult situation but you handled it well. Watermelon learned to control her temper a little and maybe even the coach learned that she shouldn't push the kids too far. That punishment was a little harsh. So maybe lessons were learned all around.

vickyd said...

Good for you! You did the right thing and Watermelon learned a valuable lesson...gold stars all around!!

Kristin50 said...

Awesome response to that situation indeed! You did great!

Sandy Lee said...

Applause. Applause. Applause.

jules said...

Wow. Good for you for staying so strong. I would have caved....

Jen said...

Nice!

speck said...

You are a great mom!

Debi said...

I remember a couple of times in my childhood where my Mom had to do something like that to me. And while I was not happy with it at the time, I am so grateful now that she had the courage to do what was needed to make me a better and stronger person. You should be so proud of yourself, and of her. Great job Draz :)!!!!!!!

Justawallflower said...

I'm with Watermelon, I don't know if I would have cried or laughed walking back in. Good for you, I don't know that I would have done it! And you ARE a good mom!

Elizabeth said...

Nicely done!!! :)

Stacey said...

No hives or NUSSING? Wow, check you out! You did the right thing for both of you! :)

Darlin1 said...

What a great mom!!!!

Laurie said...

Draz- you ARE a good mother. Stop with that notion.
If you want an example of a bad mother, look to me, I have the proof, my lovely 16 year old son delivered a letter to his parent today instructing us on how much we have F-ed up. Oh, it is such a joy, tell me again why I haven't retired.

dawn said...

What a great post! Way to go!!!! Yea, doing the right thing sometimes is hard as heck.

Banded Mommy (Angie) said...

Hey pretty lady you need to stop doubting yourself as a mama! You have two wonderful girls that think the world of you. If you were a bad mama Watermelon would have laughed at you straight to your face and refused to go back. She would have screamed at the coach with profanity or done something even worse. She was removing herself from the situation in a way she thought was proper. Yes it was wrong not to tell Rambo why but she DID tell you in the end. She was not sneaky about it. I think you both did an awesome job. Especially you for holding your ground and making her do it on her own!
xo

Lonicera said...

Draz - what you did feels SO right, I'm very impressed. Watermelon will never forget.
Caroline

Bodaciousboomer said...

Ten year olds play volleyball?
Who knew?

Tina said...

Dang..you did the right thing but holy heck that girl has balls. I cannot help but think she did something right in walking out. I am also a little worried that the coach didn't even know she left..um...kind of scary supervision there.

xxxooo

Beth Ann said...

EXCELLENT JOB, Mommy!! So many parents don't take the time or effort to do that kind of thing. These are the kind of tangible type things that help kids learn right from wrong and help them be responsible adults. You rule! (And good for Watermelon for taking it like a strong girl!)

Amanda said...

okay I have read these totally out of order but that is such good parenting!! Many mothers need to make notes of exactly how you handled it!

You've got good kids, darling. And that is totally you and Rambo. So accept it! Now give them a cookie for dinner!

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

Some day she is going to thank you for teaching her that lesson.

Read said...

Woo Hoo Chica - that was amazing!!