Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tell me it's easy and I'll say you're a liar.

I’m going to pull my large, cushion-y ass up onto a soapbox for a moment. I don’t do it often but today I just can’t stop being pissed about some things regarding weight loss versus health and how “easy or hard” it is.


I don’t care who you are or what you weigh or how you grew up or what tools you are using in your quest to get healthy.

It
Is
Hard

Every f*cking day it’s hard. True – some days are easier than others but it is NEVER easy. Even when you do Nutrisystem and the exact food you are supposed to eat is prepared and in front of you – it is NOT easy. Easier? Maybe – the physical choosing and cooking part. The mental part? Not so much.

Just because NS puts out a planned breakfast for me doesn’t mean that deep in my soul I don’t want to bury myself in a sea of Panera bread cinnamon bagels smothered in high calorie cream cheese. Naked.

When Jennifer Hudson says it’s “easy” because she has a team of counselors and she knows her points? She’s lying. Well I mean she does have counselors and she does know her points but late at night when she’s sad or missing someone or she’s had a terrible day I don’t believe for a second that any counselor on earth can make her stop wanting to marry some moose tracks ice cream.

She may indeed not eat any ice cream – but the want will always remain. And whether she eats it or not – both choices are hard to deal with in the end.


If you have a tool like a lap band or you have gastric bypass and you hear people talking about how they can eat anything they want as long as they work out because their tool or surgery allows that – well, then I ask you – is that why you got the tool? So you could eat ice cream for breakfast, Little Debbies for lunch and large pizzas for supper washed down with root beer?

Cuz, um I’m pretty sure you told everyone you knew you were getting it to be HEALTHY. Losing a shit ton of weight and eating like a junk food junkie is NOT healthy. It’s just dumb. You can weigh 100 lbs after using your tool and having lost lots of weight but if you continue to eat all that shit – your health is still going to be in jeapordy.

You can have high BP, high cholesterol and be at a higher risk for all kinds of things because of your insane non-nutritional choice of foods – REGARDLESS of how easily you lost weight and keep it off.

Food addictions are never easy. One in 100 may say the actual losing weight is easy and that working out is easy but they are the exception and not the rule and they shouldn’t stand on a pedestal and claim it’s a piece of cake.

Because it just ain’t. And if you say it is too many times – I stop believing you and I wonder what you are hiding. I wonder if you’re healthy now – why is the main staple in your diet ice cream and why does your weight only stay off if you work out 2 hours a day without missing?

Is that your idea of health?

For 99 out of 100 – it’s the hardest thing they’ll face every single day. Including me. And when someone around you preaches that it’s easy and even funny – while you sit unsuccessful and drowning in your own guilt about why you haven’t done what she did – you compare. And you get angry and you most of all you start telling yourself you’re a failure.

When
You’re
Not.

You’re human. And truthful. And you might fail in your choices from day to day but YOU are not a failure. And the person you are comparing yourself to – who says it’s easy to do and easy to maintain – is a liar and a fraud.

It is NEVER easy. With a tool or without a tool, with a surgery or without a surgery, using a diet program or not, using a trainer or not, exercising or not – we all know deep in our hearts that with or without these things – if we are to be truly healthy we have to eat nutrional food and work out moderately. You need to have a balanced life and fix your mental issues as well as your physical ones. You need to find inner peace and love yourself. The list goes on and on.

I swear if you conquer the scale using any number of methods and you proclaim it was easy and you continue to eat like you did before you lost weight – you’re setting yourself up for a disaster.

You haven’t conquered anything.

Least of all your health.

In fact, you may be worse off because now you’re just pretending to be okay when you’re really not. Before, at least you weren’t pretending. The whole world knew you were unhappy and unhealthy. Now they might think you are happy – but you sure aren’t any healthier mentally or physically.

How long can you keep up the façade that “everything” has been easy? From losing weight to eating anything you want to working out non-stop to feeling good about yourself when the absolute only thing that has changed is the number on the scale?

It’s EASY for me to see you’re lying to yourself and everyone around you.

That’s the only thing about this that is EASY.

36 comments:

Stephanie said...

I love you more than I love Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Thank you for writing this. I hope and pray more people read this and truly understand that no matter how you lose the weight, it you don't make healthy choices, it doesn't matter how skinny you are or what size your clothing is. You are awesome and I adore you!

Jen said...

Amen!!! I'm sick of seeing weight loss bloggers talk about junk food and rationalizing it with I work out so I can eat it. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. People need to know that sometimes even if you're NOT eating the junk you still will not always loose the weight. You shouldn't feel like a failure. Not everyone can have the perfect weight loss story. You are awesome - love you.

Dawnya said...

OMG....I love you like a fat kid loves cake (and you know fat kids love cake). This post is so on point. It is the truth. Stop lying to yourself and others about how healthy you are...when you are not.

Some weight loss bloggers idolize others because they have lost so much weight and they are living the healthy lifestyle...but the truth is many are not living the healthy life. They are pretending. In the meantime someone else is holding themselves to an impossible standard.

Thank you for calling this to the carpet. It is not easy. It will never be easy as long as Archway cookies continue to make lemon cookies.

Jody V said...

Absolutely wonderful post Drazil!! BRAVO!!!!

Stephanie said...

I know I am a dork, but I just had to post again about how awesome and true and fabulous this post is. :)

vickyd said...

Preach it sistah!! You are so right!!

I remember back to one of the times when Oprah lost her weight and everyone was saying, "well if I had a trainer and a personal chef then I could lose weight too"...yes, these things made it a bit easier for her but, trust me, if Oprah wanted to dive head first into a box of oreos then who was gonna stop her? Fast forward to today where she is still struggling with her weight and the only thing we've learned is that money can buy you weight loss for a short amount of time but you still have to do the work and the work is HARD!!!

Sandy Lee said...

Sista you just spoke the truth. I did it for health and today I am healthy. Sticking around for awhile yet.

Jams said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. It's not easy.. and likely never will be. Even when you have tools that give you an advantage, you still have to make choices. And I promise you won't always make the best choice. You have to learn to not beat yourself up over those "choices" and that's not easy either (at least not for me).

Great post.

Robyn's Nest said...

Amen! I fight myself every single day and it is hard.

Jessica said...

Love your post!

Cat said...

OOoh I love this post. Thank you so much for writing this. It is hard. Mentally I struggle every single day. Band or no band...I have to do the work, and then decide my choices each day. Somedays are more healthful than others, but each day I struggle...good or bad, I struggle with making the healthful choice, or I struggle with having made a less healthful choice. Thank you. *puffy hearts*

Fat in Suburbia said...

Love this! I'm on Jenny Craig and get sick of people saying it's "easy" because it most definitely is not!

Blossom said...

I agree. And my having a band doesn't really make things easier. I have struggled the entire time. And it makes eating uncomfortable. It's just a tool, like anything else.

Chubby McGee said...

This post is fantastic. It is so fucking hard to do this on a daily basis. You're so right.

We really aren't failures. We just occasionally lose a hand or two in our daily card game of weight loss/getting healthy.

;)

Angela said...

Moose tracks ice cream.....damn it Draz!!!!

Sarah from Onmyweightohappiness said...

A big fat AMEN! This is F'n hard no matter if you have a tool helping you or not! Just cuz I had gastric bypass doesn't make this process any easier!

Laura Belle said...

Anyone that spouts off about how easy it is for them to lose weight, I'd punch them in their ding-ding. or ta-tas. Whichever. Or both.

Vanessa said...

Amen! As long as there is fresh mozzarella and red wine ~ I will struggle....It is hard.

Janis said...

I figure it's simple, but simple ain't easy. There's a reason the language has two words for those concepts.

trisha said...

Draz... please tell me where this aforespoken person/being is so i can immediately travel to said location and BITCH-SLAP it across it's UGLY ANNOYING FACE.

mmmmk? k

Caron said...

So true. I love my skinny daughter dearly, but she is not into healthy. She eats anything she wants but in small portions. Vegetables are rarely on her plate unless you count lettuce and tomatoes.

She is old enough to make her own decisions and tells me I am so healthy. She gets no exercise either. I look like an Olympic champion compared to her and I struggle mightily with that aspect of healthy. Yes, it's still hard eight years after losing the weight.

Angela Pea said...

AMEN!!!!

FitBy40 said...

Ugh, as I said on Stephanie's blog, I'm sitting here reading this as I'm so unbelievably uncomfortable from overeating at lunch, 4 hours ago! I have a band and I know better, it's been a year for the love of Pete! When will I ever learn to NOT over eat? I'm still a fat kid at heart. I knew I was full, yet I just HAD to have that last bite. Stupid!
You're right, NOT EASY!

Jacquie said...

Touché'! GREAT POST

Marcella said...

Couldn't have said it better!!!

P.s. thanks for the post on my blog - following you now! :)

Lee Ann said...

Ummm, are you talking about me, because I have said my WLS has made it easier.... because it really has. I swear there is something about the surgery that has changed my appetite for food. I never had a problem with exercise. I never hated it to start with. I never LOVED it though, either. But for me WLS really *has* made this seem so much easier. Not "easy" but manageable and doable and I feel like FINALLY my efforts are being rewarded on the scale. And finally I am not struggling with a raging appetite every single day---basically choosing hunger or eating too many calories to lose weight. Maybe you aren't talking about anything I've said at all, but this topic has come up a lot lately and I for me, I insist surgery has made things easier for me, and if it hadn't I'd be disappointed and think it was a waste of money honestly.

MandaPanda said...

I'll give ya an "AMEN!" to this one too! Hubby always says that thin isn't healthy and he's right. He's still 350 lbs but his bad cholesterol's low, his good cholesterol's high, his bp is normal, triglycerides, all that stuff is normal. Is he healthy? Not really but he's healthier than some people at their ideal weights. And you're right...it's NEVER easy and I think a lot of people are liars about it. Thanks for putting it out there.

Miss April said...

Word.

Beth Ann said...

True words, my friend. There are lots of the things that can make it easiER, like support, a plan, surgery, etc. But it just never is easy. Every day I want it to be, but it isn't.

Andrea said...

Love this! Preach it!

Kahla Building Blocks Bootcamp said...

........amen.

Rachellabelle said...

Preach it girl!

Michelle said...

Youre exacty right. It's so hard. And when I see skinny betches in the gym who make it look easy, I literally have to say to myself in head "she's so lucky to have great genes." it's the only thing i can do from wanting to punch her through the wall.

Bodacious Boomer said...

I think I started my first diet when I was about 6 so I feel actually as you do, in spades, since I'm at least a good 20 years older. If it makes you feel any better at all, research has now shown that a predisposition to certain foods are determined before we are born. If you're interested, email me sometime. I'll send you the link.

In the meantime Carpe Cinnabon!

Absolutely, Positively Josie said...

*Both* choices are hard to deal with, yes! You remind me there are two choices in the first place. Thanks, Drazil. Keep your spirits up, and thanks for stopping by my blog!

Read said...

So so so so true - you are the bomb! Which I hope you already knew!!!