Thursday, December 8, 2011

Literal "shit" that you don't want to hear about.

But you're gonna anyway because I love you all sooo much. I simply must share the "shit" with you.  If I'm going to be subjected to hear about this kind of poop and vomit in my mouth while hearing about it...welll then - so are you.

Rambo has issues.  No, no - not poop issues.  Issues with coming home and telling me stories about inmates at the prison that I seriously do NOT want to know. 

He knows I also have issues - with P words - mainly poop to be exact. 

And yet?  He tells me poo stories.  And laughs.  Like somehow it's funny.  When it ain't.

It just ain't people.

Apparently yesterday, an inmate in Unit A (intake unit - worst unit on the range) decided to go coo-coo for more than Coco Puffs. 

Rambo said the inmate pooped in his hand (how talented huh?) - then proceeded (OMG - I'm having trouble typing this - no lie) to eat the poop in his hand.

Which led to him wiping the remaining poo all over his head and face.  And the walls. 

Of which he promptly began licking.

HOLY SATAN'S BALLS!!!  Is this person human?

I don't understand.  I cannot deal.

So yes, the inmate is obviously stripped naked, bound to a bed with a 1 inch thick mattress and put on observation - while the janitor cleaned shit off the walls.

I'm sorry - you just couldn't pay me enough to watch that or clean it. 

I can barely think about it but decided I must write about it.  Cuz as you all know - I hate it but I can't seem to stop blogging about it.

Don't hate.  I'm facing my fears...or something like that.

Excuse me - I must go brush my teeth with bleach.

22 comments:

Lucy said...

OMG I would have told the boss to shove the job up his ass before I would have cleaned that up.

Losing It said...

I just puked in my mouth a little. Omg. Nasty.

Miss April said...

That is f*cking sick! Ummmm maybe he needs to go to a psychiatric unit. I worked in a healthcare center for elderly people. If you want to hear some crazy *shit* stories, I have a few. Just let me know. LOL

FitBy40 said...

My thought was they should have let him live like that, in his own poo for about 3 days before cleaning, or better yet, give him a bucket and sponge and make the sicko clean it up himself, or it could sit there forever!
Maybe explosive man can teach the inmate how to poo in the toilet, properly!

Dawnya said...

I love these poo stories. I work in a prison so I find this crap funny too.

Angie said...

OMG, EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Kyla said...

You must watch the Tyson documentary! well mostly b.c its good and secondly b.c he talks about this for4 .2 seconds.

Caron said...

Ugh. Nasty. Not funny at all. Guys laugh at the weirdest things!

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

Gross!

Lee Ann said...

Ew! When I was on a 6th grade field trip to the ZOO, I saw an orangutan do that. But a MAN?

Laura Belle said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. YUCK!

MandaPanda said...

I'm pretty sure I just threw up a little...yep...that's definitely vomit. So so so so soooooooooooooo gross!

Cat said...

I actually squinched my eyes shut tight like somehow that would allow me to unsee what you had typed there. I even skipped this entry today but then I love you so much that I stopped back later and read it anyway.

Yep, I have a problem with that P word too. Love you!!! *pristine bleach scrubbed hearts*

Sam said...

Ewwwwwwwwww

I am glad you are facing your fears, it gives us such a good laugh and eww factor at the same time :o)

Dazee Dreamer said...

Next time you see Rambo, would you please just slug him for me, because, that was just too much for even me to handle. thanks

Ronnie said...

I was gonna say, "That made me throw up in my mouth a little." But I see someone already said that. But... seriously. BUH.

I'm with you, I don't wanna know about the things that happen at those places. :/

Samantha said...

OMG EWwwwwwwwwwwww. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that part of our whole jail system. Just nice clean electronically taken fingerprints. I very rarely even see the person being arrested. I do not know how you stick around long enough to hear the whole story!

Amy said...

When I worked in an adolescent psych unit, poop smearing was common (no poop eating though). Anyway, one day a kid was in the solitary area (the time out room basically) and she smeared poo all over the wall, then wrote, "Miss Amy sucks." -- in the poo. fabulous. then i decided to be a teacher :P

Sarah said...

Holy hell! I'd have BATHED in bleach after that story! I've heard a lot of nasty stuff (and am ADDICTED to the show "Jail"), but that's downright DISGUSTING. Uck. You are a better woman than I, because I'd have hosed down the husband before he crawled into bed with me... Doesn't matter how far away he was. "Oh, you were in the building? Great. Take your ass to the shower!" :)

Sarah @ Thinfluenced

Fat in Suburbia said...

OMG I seriously have no words.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

TMI for me today. I'm glad Dail only deal with figurative poop at his job.

Marcella said...

OMG! I really wish I hadn't read this. lol