I'm actually happy it's Monday which is freaking crazy I know! I might even actually fart a gumdrop or two.
I've been working out like I used to - which means every day. I've been on track with my food. I have literally cooked meals for Rambo and I for the whole week that put us at or under 1200 calories a day.
Rambo has been working out every day with me too which always helps me. If he's downstairs sweating, I feel guilty if I choose not to do the same.
I am still working on balancing....and I feel good about that. I'm working all day and still managing to work on my other jobs at night and still work out and between all that - I have made a major effort to hold and kiss both my daughters in ways I didn't even a week ago.
On the facing my fears and not letting my social anxiety win...ugh...that sucks a fat baby's ass. I got a call from my neighbor to take the girls with her to an indoor swimming pool. I lied and said we had plans. We did not. My daughter heard me lie. It wasn't pretty but I didn't have the mental stamina to do it.
And I knew that.
Later that night we all went to a friend's house to play Wii and drink and hang out for a few hours. Halfway through my stomach hurt bad, I only watched people play Wii and made excuses not to play myself and I sweat enough to soak my cute thong and sweatpants. Lovely. I am not getting better. It pisses me off. And still - I haven't had the balls to tell Rambo how every single outing effects me. He was surprised that when we got home I got sick - because - again - we know all the people. I've got to find some cahoneys and tell him so he gets it.
Also, today makes 31 weeks until I run the 1/2 marathon. And yes, I am counting down already.
Tomorrow I'll report my workouts, miles gone and calories burned in January. I'm excited to finish strong!!
Oh and below (my 2011 word and mantra) is what I now have as a screensaver and on my desktop and on the side of my blog page. I have printed it and put it everywhere in my house too! Whaddya think?