Monday, January 9, 2012

A weekend in Care Bear Land.

Well - scratch that.  I believe I lived this weekend more like in Satan's armpit land.  I didn't see any fluffly clouds.  No one drove by in a cloud car with puffy clouds sputtering out of the pink muffler.  I haven't seen a f*cking Skittle in days.

The only thing keeping me alive is my IV drip of Mountain Dew. 

Wanna know why?

Um cuz - my girls have the flu.

Complete with puking.  Onto their parents.  Even knowing I cannot deal with such a thing.

I have slept with one eye open - fearing the heaving noise.  The possible puke coming.  It's like living in fear.

It's been hell.

The first night Banana had the good sense to puke on Rambo.  Like massively.  And though I didn't want to - after I started to gag - I laughed. Let me say to you that Rambo literally went outside to shake himself off.  My God - I can't believe I survived it.

I was praising the hating sinus Gods because I cannot smell anything - or I would have surely died. 

I did the hold their hair thing - as I turned my head away.  I rubbed backs during the convulsing like good moms are supposed to - as I hung my own head between my knees as I sat on the edge of the bathtub.

I prayed - that this would end.

As the dry heaving continued - I cursed every God ever known to man.

And as one of trips to the bathroom was over - Banana sat in my lap and looked at me out of the blue and said, "Mama - do I still have my kidneys?"

I smiled.  I wanted to say, "Yes, honey.  It may feel like you horked them up - but you did not."

Later on - in her little pale face with dark circles under her eyes - she wanted me to open some crackers for her.  She said, "Mama - I can't get these open...and it's devastating."

No baby - devastating is the puking.  Crackers not opening - well - that's just perfectly tolerable.

I'm ready to vacate Satan's armpit land.  It smells here.  Like a lot.

And yes - even through all of this - Karma has proven she still loves me.

Why, you ask?

Um - cuz - neither of my girls had diarrhea.

Praise Jesus.

19 comments:

mommykinz said...

Love the silver lining!
Now go get the bleach and get those freaky germs out of your house!

Stephanie said...

I'm hoping Watermelon and Banana feel better soon. I can SO sympathize with their (and your) plight after my Christmas expereinces. Take care of them and yourself, ok? Hugs!

jennxaz said...

whats that I smell..sniff sniff...Eau da Motherhood!

Fat in Suburbia said...

OMG I am the same way-I gag and puke myself when one of the kids pukes. Hope they feel better soon!

Lucy said...

Little Banana sounds heart breakingly cute! (I know that isn't a word. Don't laugh at Rambo too much you might just jinx yourself.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

I'm so sorry they are sick. I'm knocking on wood that none of us get the flu around here. I just can't handle it at all. I hope your babies get well soon and that you and Rambo avoid catching it. There is nothing fun about the flu.

MandaPanda said...

You're such a good mama! I don't do well with the puking either but it's just one of the many joys of parenthood I guess. I hope they feel better soon!

Caron said...

Poor darlings. The flu is the worst! Hang in there. Hope you avoid sharing in their sickness. :)

justjenn said...

OMG, "Do I still have kidney?" This is funny. Sounds like a horrible few days, though.

Tori said...

Poor babies :( I hope they get better soon!

Sarah from Onmyweightohappiness said...

LMAO @ horked them up, totally gonna use that word today!

Cat said...

Awww, poor little darlings. As an adult now, even sans children I can now look back at my childhood illness when my mom was supposed to do all the comforty things you have done and I am amazed that she was able to do those things. I don't think I could, of course I'm sure it's different when it's your own kid you are comforting through illness. You are truly a warrior darling. I mean that. I cannot handle puke in any kind of way, myself or others. What a fantastic mom you are. *hugs*

Sheila said...

Awww, hope they feel better soon!

Robyn's Nest said...

I am so sorry they are sick. You are a good momma bear.

Sam said...

Hope your girls feel better soon and there are no more encounters like that for you to deal with :p

Jessica said...

Hope your girls feel better!

Maren said...

Ick! I hope your girls get better fast! :D

Leigh C. said...

OMG! So sorry! I really hope that you and Rambo don't fall ill too. Really hoping your girls feel better soon:)

trisha said...

ohhh poor babies I hope they feel better!!

that's one reason why i am not sure i will have biological children... I can't even clean up dog shit cause I will vomit!! How the hell am I supposed to deal with a shitting puking child?! LOL