Wednesday, January 25, 2012

You just might unfollow me after this.

Mmmkkaayyy. I have decided to confess some things and some of them are gonna make some of you want to poke forks in my eyes. With jalepenos on them. For realz.


I’m willing to take the risk because I just have to get some of this off my chest.

OMG – I feel like I’m going to be burned at the stake or someone is going to knit me a big A for my chest.

Okay – here it is.

I hate Pinterest.

Holy shit, right? Are you still reading? Okay wait – before you unfollow me – hear me out.

I don’t actually hate Pinterest. I hate that there is a Pinterest. Meaning I hate that there is ANOTHER thing on the web that I’m supposed to want to make love to and name my first born after.

People – I can’t keep up! God help me – but I just can’t. I signed up – threw some tattoo pictures on there and followed a bunch of people…and haven’t look at it since. Why did I bother you ask?

BECAUSE. (Yup, that's the best reason I got.  Just because.)

If someone asks me if I’m on Pinterest or the famous, “Oh my good golly, don’t you just looooooooove Pinterest?” or “Are you as addicted to your Pinterest as you are to your shoe collection?”…I can now say, “Yup, I’m on there. It’s great.”

Because before? Jesus, Mary and grasshopper dicks – if I said, “Nope – not on Pinterest!” – sometimes women would run away screaming or they’d slap me and look at me like I slept with their husband or something. It was just easier to make myself an account. Trust me.

And forgive me – but I just don’t get it. I “pin” things I like to my board. Um…in my head I know I like these things. Why do I need to put them on a virtual board? Why do I care if others see that? Why do I care what other people’s boards have on them? I’m confused. Help me.

You want another confession? Fine. I’ll give you one. I’m not into Twitter. Don’t know how it works. Don’t care to find out. Don’t want to. If one more person asks me or reprimands me for not being on Twitter I’m going to kick them in their twat. Honest to f*cking Pete. Who has time for all this shit? And what is Twitter anyway – instant statuses or something? Isn’t Facebook enough? I have cousins who literally update their status when they decide to go pee. Or blink. Or take a breath. Do I need to see this on Twitter too?

Speaking of Facebook. Here’s a little tip for you. CLARIFY yourself or I will hunt you down and kill you with a tire iron. A person I know in town with kids wrote this last night on Facebook:

“Found out today that Aspen has stomach and bladder cancer. What an awful day. Going to bed so we can get some sleep and decide what to do for her tomorrow.”

Are you sad? Are you freaking out that a little girl named Aspen is dealing with cancer and so are her parents? Is your heart breaking for them like mine did?

UNTIL YOU FIND OUT ASPEN IS THEIR FREAKING DOG!

I mean – yes – it is still sad BUT my God – I was about to start organizing a benefit and fundraiser. Jesus. Reedonkulous. How the hell do I know your DOG’S name is Aspen and it’s not your little girl????????????? CLARIFY.

I suppose if I want to admit it – I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed in life. I haven’t seen the top of my kitchen table in weeks. I don’t remember what my bathroom floor looks like without clothes spread all over it. Even the dust bunnies are pissed about how many of themselves there are. Yes, yes – I know. I’m not allowed to bitch and whine when I willfully took on numerous jobs and such but whatever. I’m going to bitch anyway.

I write a blog every day and follow almost 300 and try to comment on a lot of them. I have a Facebook page which gets used about 10 minutes per day. I have Pinterest. I cannot fathom twittering about Explosive Man or Asian massage therapists who freak out when I wear NUSSING. Honestly – it’s just not that interesting.

And my God – I don’t have the time. Between 2 kids, 1 house, budgets, 3 jobs, cooking, planning, cleaning, blogging, maintaining friendships and extended family relationships, dealing with my 16 personalities, watching my favorite shows and not working out – I just can’t give a damn about boards or twits.

How in the world do you guys all do it? Where do you draw the line? Do you love it all or hate it all?

And most importantly – do you still love me after I've beared my soul?


Obviously - if you love Pinterest and Twitter - I say more power to you.  I'm actually just jealous that you can do it all.  The only way I know how to say that is by making fun of it. 

I have issues.  Clearly.

45 comments:

Leigh C. said...

I don't even know what Pinterest is. As for twitter? I wish most of my FB friends would just go on over and tweet their hourly updates instead of putting them as their statuses. I don't care what they are doing every minute of the day. Drives me insane!!!!!!!!!!

jennxaz said...

didn't make me mad...I totally relate....not into twitter or pinterest....I am a FB whore but hey some guilty pleasures are needed.

Sarah said...

Ha Ha I'm with Leigh. I've only heard pinterest referred to on blogs and totally didn't get it.

I don't see the point of all these things. They are clearly designed with people who have waaaaaay too much time on their hands in mind and then people who don't have too much time on their hands join because ...

Nora said...

I've had friends try to get me to do Pinterest, and I still don't know what it is. I don't do twitter either. Frankly, I am not that interesting!

Kelly said...

Umm. I love Twitter. Madly. And I don't have Pinterest.

Sarah G said...

I don't like Pinterest either. I got an account but didn't "get it" so I deleted a couple of weeks ago, now all of a sudden I'm getting emails that new people are following me. WTH!?!

I don't Twitter either, so there.

If you were trying to get me to unfollow you, you just failed. hahaha

Jessica said...

I dont like twitter and I am not on pinterest either.

I am however addicted to Facebook like a crack whore!

Cat said...

I still love you just the same as I did yesterday. No worries about that. : )

As for Pinterest. Honestly it's helping me find my style. I have posted a bit of what I like, but that's actually sorta boring to me if I'm being honest. As you said, I know what I like and who gives a crap what other people think about what I like. However, it does give me a reference point when I think..."Didn't I repin an outfit that Stephanie J had pinned? There were shoes in there that I loved and would go with this outfit, let me look again and see if I'm right, if so perhaps I'll buy them." It's more a way for me to organize looks that I like and refer to later. What I really love pinterest for is all the different styles and collections and trends etc. This new body of mine needs clothing and Pinterest is helping me figure out what I like. : ) The fact that you like or do not like Pinterest doesn't make me like/online love you any less! *hugs*

As for Twitter, I use it to follow celebs mostly. I look at it a few times a month maybe and have never tweeted (twittered??) anything. : )

As for FB, I don't follow a lot of my band blog buddies because I don't want other work/family/real life friends knowing about my band. Yep, still in the closet with more than 95% of the people I know.

Lyla said...

I find Twitter utterly ridiculous, and a little narcissistic, but my husband loves it so maybe I just don't get it. I'm ok with that.

Blog-land is about all I can muster interest in at the moment. There are just other things I'd rather be doing with my time (like living my life offline).

RockBand Barbie said...

I am not on Pinterest and I have never tweeted a twit inu life....wouldn't even know how. I do fb but rarely even post a status update any more...it just fills my need for a little gossip every now and then. I am a little "stalkerish" when it comes to looking through people's pictures on fb...what can I say, I'm nosey like that.

o.c. bandster said...

I am with you 100%. I don't go on Pinterest (my neighbor just showed it to me Sunday for the first time), I go on FB maybe once a YEAR b/c I don't really get what you are supposed to do on FB, as for twitter....don't have any real interest to hear up to the minute details of what someone is doing.

I think I am just too busy to care! I do LOVE reading my blogs though....u always make me laugh Draz.

Sandy Lee said...

I could never unfollow you--ever. And me too-- I'm Twit-less too. Can't understand it and Pinterest is ok but only to get ideas for the wedding. Sooooo...... We're kindred spirits avoiding all this new stuff. It's enough that I have a sore neck from using my iPad so much. Smooches.

Gilly said...

It's so over.

(don't tell, but I have no idea even how to use Pinterest, although I'm on it and desperately want to know)

Robyn's Nest said...

I bet I would like Pinterest, if I had time to be on it. I don't. I do NOT need one more thing to do online. So I refuse to even look at it.
I post and read weight loss blogs abd that takes more time then I actually have.
I do have a FB account. I like to see what my kids are up to. With them all grown and out of the house, it helps keep me in touch. And some old boyfriends have found me, so that is cool, I guess. But I never post anything- I have a few pictures out there. Oh, I used it to see what my ex-hubby's new wife looked like.... and I used it to see some photos of my son's girlfriend before I meet her to try and see what kind of person she was (love her, BTW)
I could never unfollow you- you have the most entertaining blog of all. I strive to be more like you.

Ms. M said...

Um yeah... I begged for a Pinterest invite & then haven't been back on it once! I don't have the time & considering how "addicted" some of my friends seem to be its probably good that I just stay away from it altogether right now. Lol

Lynda said...

I tried Pinterest, but it just didn't grab me. I'll probably delete my account sometime soon. I've never gotten into Twitter, either.

vickyd said...

I don't hate you, honey, this just makes me love you more!!!

I've never been on Pinterest or Twitter and really don't give a flying you-know-what about either of them!! I have enough time-suckers in my life, thank you very much, and even if I did have the time, I really don't care about who's doing what every second of every day (I barely tolerate my FB account but feel like I have to at least have this to keep up to date about things).

Miss April said...

I signed up for both, but haven't used either because I really don't know how to or understand the point. Some people LOVE them. I steal pics off Pinterest sometimes, but I don't know how to credit them or do whatever the heck I'm supposed to for proper Pinterest etiquette. I like Facebook. I don't think I'm cool enough to use Twitter, or I might like it more. Pinterest - I just can't figure out all the pinning and boards and crediting it to the source and bla bla bla.

I don't hate you, I still kinda think you are the shiznit!

Darlin1 said...

These LB blogs are enough for me.....they give me everything I need ;-) I don't want anymore of my precious time spent on the computer. I chose real life!

XO

Miesha Roshawn said...

LMAO! I almost just almost clicked unfollow! LOL! I am currently on a FB and Twitter hiatus SO Pinterest it is! I love looking at beautiful things and getting inspired! Go figure I've gotten so much accomplished since my hiatus started on 1/16!

Fat in Suburbia said...

I'm not on Twitter and don't get the appeal of it. As for Pinterest I'm on it, play around with it from time to time but am not gaga about it. It would take way worse than this for me to unfollow you!

Amy @ Findingfitme said...

I don't touch twitter with a 100 foot pole. I do love FB, it's the Mrs. Kravitz it me. I also hate FB too, everyones lives are fluffy and happy, get real people.

I was invited to Pinterest. Tried it for 10 min. Wan't happy about the fact I have to chnage my FB wall to a timeline so I quit. Don't know if I did something wrong.

I barely have time to blog so why add another thing to my list.

Jazzing up Jackie said...

I tried to do the twitter thing, but then I realized I had no idea how the hell it worked and really, I don't need more people stalking me anyway. Facebook's good enough for that. I went on Pinterest one time because my friend said it's awesome or whatever, but I didn't understand what to do with it. So, you're definitely not alone.

Justawallflower said...

I had a twitter for a couple years. I never learned how to work it. Think I updated my status when I opened the account. I finally closed it a few weeks ago.

As for pinterest, I love it! I love it cause there are so many awesome recipes on it that I can try. I am not nearly creative enough to come up with stuff on my own and the few I have tried that I found there I have really really liked. Oh, and I don't have a life!

Caron said...

I tried Twitter briefly. When some strange, foreign guys started sending me "tweets" I closed it down. It wasn't something I even liked so no loss there.

BeesKnees said...

I hate pinterest but only because A)I feel like this can already be done with other sites and this is yet ANOTHER place to have to keep up with and B)They require a FB or Twitter account which I have NEITHER of and don't plan on having anytime soon. SO FU Pinterest, Ha!

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

I just stay away from those things. I don't watch the news either, things that make me feel bad are not good, period!

FitBy40 said...

I'm not on either, and get this. Are you ready? I don't text. Nope, not at all. I actually have it disabled on my phone so I can't even receive texts. I'm happy in the dark ages. If someone needs me, they will just have to CALL me, the old fashioned way!

Amanda said...

I have yet to discover the joys of Pinterest. As for Twitter, I have an account and will sometimes read there if I've run out of things to do (including flea-combing the dog), but I'm not tied to it, and I lose more followers than I gain.

So... yeah, you're fine. Heh.

Sam said...

I agree 100% :o)

I'm not into either of those things, I have a hard enough time keeping up with the 225 or so blogs I'm following, and I baring check Facebook! So looks like you'd still stuck with me as a follower :p

Joanna said...

I love Pinterest just because it has so many great recipes and ideas for me to use in my classroom. I'm not an addict, though. I have several boards, and when I'm bored - I mosey on over there and pin a few things. Hubby and I have tried many of the new recipes we've found..and they've been a big success.

As far as Twitter goes.. I just can't get in to it. I've tried. I have an account. But just as I've lost the need to post my life in quick status updates on Facebook, I sure as heck don't have the time to tell anyone that's interested in what I'm doing in 140 characters or less.

Right now, the most I do is Blogger and stalk people on Facebook and stalk people on their blogs. That's satisfying enough for me.

Katy said...

I just joined Pinterest and am baffled by it. I think it's weird that people wan to follow me. Do they really care what I pin in an interest to make dinners more interesting at my house? Because that's all I'm pinning...

Also, Twitter? I think is a complete waste of time. I would basically tweet the same things every day. And they would be boring.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with these thoughts about Pinterest and Twitter!

Fab Kate said...

I'm hopelessly lost in all this. Pinterest seems to me to be Tumblr for people who want to put up a whole lot of stuff in less time. I just don't get it. I mean, I FB, I blog, heaven help me, I even Tweet, but I just don't understand why I need another place to put up things I care about, want to share, or just make me LOL. How much redundancy do we NEED on the web? Do I really NEED to make the whole world wide web The Fab Kate show?

I just don't get Pinterest. I don't have Klout, and I have 5 people in my Google + circles. I have over 1000 followers on my FB,and I don't really KNOW most of them. WHY WHY WHY do I NEED more exposure unless I'm Angelina Jolie?

Sheila said...

***LOVE*** this post! I signed up for Pintrest but have never looked at it since...I don't twitter, and FB is only for me to keep up with others, I don't put MYSELF out there very much. You won't have me UNFOLLOWING YOU anytime soon!

Impulsive Addict said...

You, my friend, are FUNNY! I have all of it and I don't have time for any. I twat, I fb, I pin, I blog, I try to comment, and why? Because its what everyone else does and heaven forbid I not cave to social networking peer pressure! I should close it all down and start a new trend.

I need to think about this first.

Maren said...

This made me giggle :D

mommykinz said...

I just LOVE pintrest. So many great ideas on there. But twitter - TMI.
Now fb is my addiction and not always in a good way.

Rachel said...

I love pinterest because it helps me organize my wedding planning (and because I am a compulsive planner)... but I totally agree with you about Facebook and Twitter - I learned the my grandma passed away on facebook... and that was three years ago before twitter!! RIDIC. What has the world come to?

tz said...

so guilty of being addicted to pnterest...might even need an intervention and have been known to stalk on FB....BUT have drawn the line at twitter, that's just way too much info bombarding me at once.

but blogging has been my first and one true love :D

you are too funny.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

I have barely hear of Pinterest and know nothing about it other than what you posted here. I do have twitter but haven't tweeted in many months. It just seems pointless.

Ronnie said...

No unfollowing, cuz I agree. While I do have my moments where I want to pin shit to boards for entertainment... for the most part I only go on pinterest to look at food porn.

And don't even get me started on twitter. Ugh.

kristi said...

I only do pinterest on Saturday at work when it's slow. I always find great recipes though! Not a fan of twitter, created an account, never used it. And facebook is okay but I am not married to it.

Desert Singer said...

I love it. Truly. Hang in. Let Go. Turn off the tech for as much time as you can fathom (*LOL*).
Sing. It helps everything. Really.
Yes. You said how I feel. And I have no children. I'm on Pininterest... but don't go there very often. I have trouble remembering what I'm supposed to be doing when I sit down at the computer in the first place...

Laura Belle said...

I just want to say I love you. Like more than chocolate covered red leather zebra print strappy Hooker high heels!

Metch said...

Ha! Just found your blog and already I am in love with it. Please tell it like it is... Who needs another virtual anything to keep up with?

...As I go update my tumblr...