Monday, February 20, 2012

There's no way to title this.

First of all – I have to say this. I just opened a container of yogurt called Black Forest Cake. On the container is a picture of said BLACK forest cake. However, the yogurt is pink. What the what? Good ol’ processed food at its finest I guess.

By the way – this post is going to be all sorts of scatterbrained and non-flowy. Just go with it. It’s Monday. That’s my excuse.

Okay – moving on. I have officially scheduled THERAPY. Yah, like by a licensed psychologist. I told him I wanted to see him to learn biofeedback techniques for my migraines. I didn’t think he’d agree to see me if I told him I was batshit crazy and my head spins around in a full circle sometimes. I am skerred to death.

The only certain thing I know about my first appointment is that I will be covered in hives. And I am 99.9% positive that as I walk in I’ll see someone from town that I know and I’ll find it necessary to explain to them that I’m not here because I’m crazy. Ugh.

Oh and regarding migraines…..I only had ONE last week. One people. Did you hear me? ONE. I usually have 4 at least. I’m thinking my new preventive meds are working finally. And while that’s fantastic – of course I wonder how long it will last. I wonder if the oils I was using helped at all? I wonder if I just tried the natural supplement of feverfew if that would help as much as the script? It makes my little non-migraine-filled head spin.

I walked three miles with Rambo yesterday. I just thought you should know that in spite of Tabata – after three days of recovery – I could finally move my legs without screaming in pain.

Did you know that you can rub solid castor oil on your head to make your hair grow? It is not just for P word issues.  Just a little tidbit I learned watching youtube videos yesterday.

I also learned that I’m a sucker. A follower instead of a leader. Because I bought about 6 products just because people on youtube said I should. And OMG – I got my Brooks shoes. Just you wait until they come. I will do a foot fashion show.

I got my “Carrie” name necklace too…but in my name. It is so super cute. And Rambo bought me the cutest pink and blue Adidas shirt with thumbholes in it to match my new Brooks shoes. Maybe I’ll do a foot and shirt fashion show.

And lastly – because I’m sure your life will be less fun if you never know this - Rambo is taking an inmate to the hospital today so they can treat the inmate’s cyst that is 6 inches wide/long/deep. In his anal canal. Yup. You read that right. It has to be lanced and Rambo has to be in the room. I think I just threw up my lunch.

You just couldn’t pay me enough I tell you. You just couldn’t.

18 comments:

Ms. M said...

Ewww! I think I just threw up my lunch too! Poor Rambo.

Laura Belle said...

Yes, fashion show!!!

I'm still waiting on that email from my biofeedback dude. I shall have to email him again. and again. and again. like a stalker. it's fine.

There are no words for the bottom part of this post. I won't even go there.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Yikes! No way I'm accompanying ANYONE to have an anal cyst lanced. My lunch has stayed down because it has been a while but I might skip dinner. Eww.

FitBy40 said...

I think I would like to be there when they lance that sucker open!
I hope they give Rambo a mask so he doesn't have to breathe in leaky ass smell!

Sandy Lee said...

I'll just skip over the inmate but have to question the Castor Oil thingy for hair. WTF? Do you really believe everything on YouTube? Maybe I should try it on DH's bald head and see if it works. Although he'd get it everywhere. You made me laugh. Thanks.

Maren said...

Good grief. I am SO not jealous of your husband's job! :D

Cat said...

Cannot wait for the shoe fashion show. Now please!!

Michelle said...

So funny- I went to therapy for a year and my biggest fear was seeing someone I knew in the waiting room. Luckily I made it through without any sort of recognition. And I'm pretty sure if anyone were to have a 6 inch anal cyst, it should be an inmate. Wish Rambo luck for us.

Angie said...

Just remember that most likely the people you know are probably also seeing a therapist. I was lucky enough to be part of a group that compare psych prescriptions so see who got the good stuff.

Life Love & High Heels said...

Don't worry about therapy. I think it's a good thing. But if you're freaked out, wear a silk scarf & big sunglasses when you walk n ;)

affectionforfitness said...

Sorry to hear of your migraines!!

I'm gullible, but I really expect some cherries and a little bit of chocolate frosting when I open a yogurt that claims it is "black forest cake" flavored. Same problem with "cheesecake" yogurt. I opt for the plain sounding flavors so that I'm not so disappointed.

:-) Marion

jennxaz said...

wow rambo should get hazard pay...same room...something might hit him in the head from the lance....ewwwwwwwwww

Andrea said...

Glad the migraines are better! Hope they continue to get better!

I love Brooks shoes because that's my last name, haha!

Sam said...

I sometime wonder if you are real, cause some of the things you come up with, sounds like a soap show where they have twelve writers :o)

Try not to think about the boils....or the therapist ...or the inmates bottom.... Okay just stop thinking :o)

Joanna said...

One thing I always tell myself when I visit the therapist office with Butter is that if I see people there I know, they are probably there for the same reason. I think it's great you made the appointment...not that I think you need one, that you took the step. ;)

I love Butter's therapist. I totally steal him for my own personal use sometimes...and I always feel so much better after.

YAY for new shoes and gear!!

Oh, and you could have spared us the last part. EWWW!!!

MizFit said...

OMG.
poor rambo.

(must shed mental image STAT)

mommykinz said...

I have a migraine today too. Makes me so emotional, the meds are only dulling the pain. I HATE migraines so much. I've been thinking about going to the psych doctor too to learn meditation or something. I don't know how you managed when you were getting soo many more with all your jobs, kids and a hubby too. You are fabulous!
Rambo needs a new job!!!

Sarah from Onmyweightohappiness said...

No comment on the last part of the blog I am pretending I never read that.
You know if you take Biotin 5000 mg a day it will make your hair and nails grow like weeds too! I have taken it daily for like 16 months now and it works amazing. If you want your hair to grow and thicken up buy a shampoo called Folicure from Sally's Beauty Store, that stuff works miracles too!