Monday, February 6, 2012

Whose bed is the "sex bed"?

I had one of those "OMG - let me crawl into a hole and die right now" kind of moments this weekend - and it involved my mother-in-law.  And sex.

Well sort of.  In a roundabout way.

She was talking about a recent purchase they made.  One she was very excited about.  One she needed help with.  It was a mattress.

She kept saying, "I need help putting it in MY room."  Or "I can't wait to get it in MY room and sleep on it."

After she said that about 6 times, I said, "Isn't it his mattress too cuz you share the bedroom?" 
I said it jokingly to kind of call her out on her mistake.

Only I was the one who made the mistake.

Shit a brick and color it pink.  The minute it was out of my mouth and my mother-in-law looked at me I knew - they no longer sleep in the same bed.

F*ck a duck and call it Larry.  He can have the pink brick I shit earlier. 

Good God.  She started to talk about snoring and other things and reasons they didn't sleep together anymore and I just wanted the whole thing to end.

And then all the way home I wondered....will I ever not sleep in the same bed as Rambo much less the same room?  I wonder how many people do and the reasons.

I actually read this on the internet:

People are on different sleep schedules, so separate beds will accommodate this.
The separation will lead to more sex.
Getting a good night's rest can improve the quality of your relationship.
 
And I wondered is this true?  Who said a married couple should sleep together?  When did that become normal instead of separate beds?  Heck - sleeping in separate beds dates all the way back to Fred and Wilma Flintstone. 
 

I mean I get some of it because.... 



Which is why I own a pair of ear plugs.

Rambo and I were on different shifts for at least 10 years.  Before that he was gone for months on the road.  I remember the only thing I ever wanted each night - was him next to me.

It was like a dream we knew we'd reach some day. 
We always said to each other, "Some day baby - we'll sleep in bed together every night."

But would it matter if he was in his own bed - right next to me in the same room?

What's your opinion on the same bed, different bed dealio?  I wonder who approaches the subject first?  And how do you decide whose bed is the "sex bed"?  Or is there no sex if there are separate beds AND separate rooms?

Chime in.  I wanna know your thoughts.


25 comments:

LoriBang said...

I love having my husband in bed next to me. I can't imagine him not being there ever. He use to snore then he got a CPAP machine, now I listen to the slight hum it makes. Our bed is the "sex" bed and since I'm losing weight, its even more so! I have to admit thats one of the perks to losing weight!

Jenny said...

I wouldnt put up with his snoring if I wasnt using him as a furnace. I cant imagine not sharing a bed. Sometimes, its what I look forward to most. Great laugh for a Monday. THANKS!!!

FitBy40 said...

My husband is a big time snorer and I lose a lot of sleep because of it. Even with that, I can't imagine having separate bedrooms. There have been times that I've gone to the couch to get some sleep for a few hours, but separate rooms seems a little drastic to me. I think I'd be lonely!

Cat said...

G was in the hospital in 2010 between Christmas and New Year. It was the loneliest sleeping of my life. I missed him terribly and cannot imagine sleeping near him.

jennxaz said...

my hubby snores like a freight train..luckily I sleep pretty heavy. I have thought about it but I would miss having him there!

Tori said...

My husband works 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. so we rarely ever sleep in the bed together. He's sleeping right now. When he's off, we do, of course.

Miss S. said...

My grandparents were in separate beds for years & apparently continued to "lalalalalala" well into their 70's!

MandaPanda said...

Different strokes for different folks. My parents have slept in separate rooms (due to snoring) for the last 14 years. My grandparents slept in different rooms for a long time b/c my grandma preferred a water bed but she'd comment that grandpa still "paid her visits" regularly. Eeewwww. Given my night terrors, Hubby has considered getting his own room so he can get a decent night's sleep but he hasn't done it yet. I could see us eventually having our own rooms but I don't like the idea.

Life Love & High Heels said...

Since i moved out of my parents house after college, my mom took over my room and it's essentially now hers. It really IS because of the snoring and different sleep schedules for them though. Well and my dad smokes and who wants to sleep with an ashtray? Guys I've dated and subsequently shared a bed with- some are not good bedmates in terms of sleeping. So if it was a real issue, I wouldn't mind separate beds. BUT I would still have "our" bedroom, but just have a spare room when I maybe needed more sleep.

Jessica said...

I need my man cuddled up next to me... in the same bed.

Ducky said...

Its probably one of those things that "whatever works best for you"

BUT...six months into my first marriage (notice that FIRST) the other started sleeping in another room. That was a huge red flag and life went down hill from there and we are no longer.

With Irishman...can't imagine NOT sleeping next to him. In fact, I can't sleep when I'm not in the same bed with him. So....same bed. Just get a king...then if you NEED room, you've got it.

Rachellabelle said...

Despite the snoring, blanket hogging, or pillow stealing, I'd still rather have my man in the same bed so we can cuddle.

We slept in separate beds on our recent trip in Cuba (we got two singles instead of a king) and it felt weird. (We tried to push the beds together, but they were different heights. haha)

Laura Belle said...

Even tho 'my giant' steals the covers, elbows me in the ear, bends his super long legs so that it makes a 'tent' with the covers and then I get cold and curse Satan....I'd still prefer to sleep with him. Every night. For the rest of our lives.
The end.

LauraLynne said...

I heard an interview once about a famous couple (can't remember which one) who slept in seperate beds/same room. Someone delicately asked about sex and she replied "every night he throws his hat to me. Some nights I throw it back and some nights I bring it back"
My husband and I agreed that if we're under the same roof, we're in the same bed. It applied more to arguing and hard feelings and setting the rules for that but applied globally. I sleep through his snoring and he sleeps through - well, everything.

Ronnie said...

I would want separate beds. I'm a horrible person. I'm just so USED to sleeping alone. I tried to sleep with my guy this weekend and it was a no-go.

I think if you CAN sleep in the same bed together, that's just fantastic. :)

MrsFatass said...

My folks only slept in the same bed on the nights they did it. And? Eww that I had to know that. TH and I fall asleep in different places a lot. He says I snore. I don't like sleeping in his bear hug all night. I don't know. We'll see what happens.

Miss April said...

I couldn't imagine not being in the bed every night with James. If we were to ever lose our minds and get separate rooms - I think both beds and rooms would be the sex beds. I can't even go to bed at a different time than him, I hate not being in the bed with him. I actually am terribly disturbed by couples who go to bed at different times. Say, the hubby stays up to play a video game or something. What?! It's strange to me.

Joanna said...

Being that Hubby works nights, I get our bed all to myself during the week. I look forward to having him in bed with me on the weekends, though.

The weird thing is, we have a Cali King. He sleeps on his side, I sleep on mine. We meet in the middle for sex - but that's about it. So, I guess it's kind of like having separate beds. He's not much of a snuggler - which I am, but it doesn't really bother me.

Stephanie said...

Jason and I were given a brand new bedroom set and mattress by my mom and stepdad when we first bought our house in 2003. The mattress was way too firm for me and when I was pregnant, I was miserable, so Istarted sleeping in the guest bedroom on the old comfy matteress. Then my restless leg was starting to get really bad and Jason's snoring got worse, so I stayed there because I hated, freakin hated our mattress. I would always start out in our bedroom and then move to the other bedroom around 1 am. In 2008 we bought a new bed and I love it, but for 4 years I wound up sleeping in the guest bedroom.

Robyn's Nest said...

Okay, I guess that I am odd man out here. When I had my knee surgery and then broken ankle last winter, I started sleeping in the spare room. I could get the wheel chair into the bed, the bed was higher and therefore easier for me to get in and out of. I never moved back into the master bedroom. I sleep better alone. He always whined about my dog in the bed, I go to bed and get up early, he is a night owl..... BUT, we have an awesome sex life. Both beds. I also like having my own room and my own stuff around me. I guess part of that is that I moved into his house with all his stuff. Now I have my own space. IDK, it works for us.

Amy said...

sex? what's that? I've completely forgotten!!

Kelly said...

I'm not married/involved/sleeping with someone for fun so I have nothing useful to add to this. Except to say - awkward. :-)

Jamie said...

Our bed is so big (Cal King) it feels like seperate beds anyways!

Sandy Lee said...

No separate room for this old lady. I just punch DH when he snores. He does the same to me so I guess we're even. I do know with a King size bed you sometimes need to make a date in order to be near each other. Or when it is really cold, the body heat is needed. So stick together. I can't imagine anything different unless you want a divorce.

Justawallflower said...

My husband and I have actually talked about this because one of our friends has different rooms. We will never sleep in different rooms. He can't sleep when I'm not there, and I have no desire to sleep without him. I just roll him over when he starts to snore!