Old people suck.
Now wait – don’t go clicking the “unfollow” button yet. I should clarify and say that I think SOME old people suck. Let me tell you why.
I went to the doctor yesterday to discuss more migraine preventive meds. I sat in the waiting room with an older man. There was a chair in between us. An older woman came in and sat in that chair. (Why do people do that? I don’t know you – don’t sit by me – get out of my space!)
Turns out she knew the older guy and then they played the “let’s see which of us can find more things to complain about” game. Here’s how their conversation went:
Man: What are you here for? Does your ear hurt? (who the hell just asks that?)
Woman: Well, last night I was fine but during the night I woke up and my neck started to hurt and I’m so achey. And I have a fever.
Man: What about your ear?
W: My ear? Oh my ear is fine. Why do you ask?
M: Well, because my ear hurts bad.
W: I forgot how debilitating a sore neck could be. I thought I better come in here before I get encephalitis or something. (Jesus – ever heard of the flu lady?)
M: Did you call and make an appt before you came in? (Yes numbnuts – that’s how the system works!)
M: I tried to get through to make an appointment and I was on hold for NINE minutes so I just hung up and came in. I only need five minutes with a doctor so I figure they can get me in.
W: NINE minutes? Oh my. Ouch – my neck hurts so badly.
M: But your ear doesn’t hurt?
ME: NO – dickwad – her f*cking ear does NOT hurt. OH MY GOD.
About this time a nurse comes out and sits down next to the man and says that all the doctors are booked. He can sit and wait but it’s going to be quite a while or he can try to come back in the morning.
So of course, this grump ass says, “I think you can find one doctor to see me for only 5 minutes. It’s getting worse. I can go home and be miserable or sit here and be miserable.”
The nurse says, “Yes, you can wait but it’ll be a while.”
What the hell? Why on Earth does this guy think he can slink in because he walked in after waiting NINE minutes on the phone? I called at 8am sharp to get an appt. That’s why we call them appointments.
Ever heard of urgent care or the ER? Try that dude.
So it just keeps getting better. There’s a TV in the waiting area and on the TV comes the Ellen Degeneres show.
The next thing I hear is a gasp and “Oh my God – she’s awful thick in the middle isn’t she?”
The woman says, “Wow – she’s gained a lot of weight! What has she been eating?”
I wanted to say, “Hmm. Not sure. Let me call her and ask her.”
Then the woman looks at me and says, “Hasn’t she gained a lot of weight? Maybe it’s her jeans. Maybe they are padded.”
Padded? Like intentionally making yourself look fatter? Cuz yes – people ALWAYS do that.
The grumpy old man then says, “Well, I doubt she’s pregnant.”
And they went on and on about her weight.
I have no feelings one way or the other about Ellen but I found myself wanting to stand up and defend her. Like how the hell do they know if she’s been under stress or what she deals with or if she’s on meds for something or what-the-hell-ever?
Leave her the f*ck alone.
My God – why do people have to be so negative and harsh? Why couldn’t they say, “I love Ellen. She’s so pretty. She has a great show.”
Or how about nothing? Because let me tell you that Mr. Grumpass and Mrs. I can’t move my neck were no prizes themselves. I mean WOW. Just wow.
What gives people the right to criticize people they don’t even know? How is that fair?
If we could spew as much positivity about others as we do negativity – can you imagine how much better a world this would be?
I know – I know. Not everything and every day and everybody can live in Care Bear Land and fart gumdrops and sleep on fluffy white clouds and ride Unicorns to work….BUT….really?
I sat there wondering if one day I’d turn into a crotchety old lady – pissed about the world. So hard up for conversation that I told an acquaintance about my entire night, what I ate and what time my neck started to hurt.
And has our world become so instant gratification-y that after NINE minutes we give up and decide to force our way into something we want regardless of those ahead of us who were willing to wait and be patient?
When did that become okay?
I just don’t know.
All I DO know is that sometimes SOME old people suck.
And aching necks are debilitating. And appointments aren’t necessary for some people.
And I love Ellen – because she’s thick in the middle – and so am I.