Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I'm a whore. With cylinder nipples.

A certain kind of whore if you must know.  A "I like to shop online for hours every day" kind of whore. 

Feast your eyes on the below.  Tell me....is there anyone in this world who doesn't want these shoes? 

My God in heaven.  They are shoegasms in a box.


OMG - and how about these?  Freaking superSTAR shoes!



And all of a sudden, I have decided I want a long white skirt. 

Like this:


With a denim jacket like this:


AND?  Cowboy boots like this:


So for one day I can pretend to be a cowgirl.

I'll have you know - that as I was preparing this post....my 11 year old walked in squeezing her boobs saying, "Mama...they hurt so much!"  I said, "Yup - that's because they are growing."  To which she replied, "OMG - you should see Rose.  Hers are getting so big she's starting to get a nipple.  Like a cylinder.  That sticks out.  Like yours do."

Part of me wanted to say - "Um - when and why were you examining your friend's boobs so closely" but I refrained and just said, "You know what a cylinder is?"

See?  Mindlessly shopping for clothes all day is soooooo much easier and less embarrassing to talk about.

19 comments:

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

She was oggling your's too! And I don't do heels *GASP!!!*

mommykinz said...

LOVE the shoes!?, I can't do heels like that unless I never want to walk again but I could do those boots they are awesome!
I think I would get back to the ogling, it's worth checking out for peace of mind.

Miesha Roshawn said...

Those shoes...ABSOLUTELY!!! I'll take them all thanks...size 10 lol!

RockBand Barbie said...

I would break my neck in all of those shoe...except for the boots :)

Dawnya said...

Again....I love your kids!!!

FitBy40 said...

Hey, I was in our new town in Wisconsin last week and I was thinking of you because I now know what you mean by being stuck where nobody has a clue about style or fashion...I never saw so much 80's hair and mom jeans! Well, except for when it actually was the 80's!
It's not exactly 'po-dunk' and I'm not a fashionista AT ALL but man, even I know that big, feathered hair went out with Farrah Faucet!

Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

LMAO! and shoes I can't imagine wearing...will it actually be possible???

Karen Butler Ogle said...

As a mother of two daughters and a son I should like to advise you to expect more observations like this. Puberty is a strange animal and there will be many more embarrassing conversations about these things.

The shoes are gorgeous but I can't do heels that high. I would break my freakin neck.

Cat said...

Haha, nipples like a cylinder.

Do they have heels with cylinder's on them? That would rock. /nod

Oh, and the ice cream cone shoes. Yeah, may or may not have had a shoegasm over those.

Barbara said...

Ok Draz. Spill it. Where can you buy those boots from. Hugs

MandaPanda said...

OK...they're all too racy for me but I'm blown away by the variety!

Your daughter cracks me up!

Jessica said...

I love your kids and your taste in shoes... however if i tried to wear them I would break my neck!

Stacey said...

I need those shoes. And the ability to walk in them. I do well to not maim myself while barefoot.

At least you don't get that tingly sensation when you step on your boobs like some women. Not sayin I know about that, just sayin in general! :)

Gilly said...

All I can see is how ouchie my feet would feel in those! And how embarrassed I'd feel when I keeled over in them...and how loud the sirens would be when the ambulance came...and how itchy the cast would be...and how my broken ankles would ache when it rained...

Kelly said...

I'm sorry, I just can't get past the cylinder nipples. Like the cone bra Madonna wore in the 90s? :-)

LoriBang said...

I LOVE your posts! I like the shoes, but I would kill myself in them, but the boots? AHHH, love the boots! As far as the nipple thing.......embrace them! I have cylinder nipples too. I use to say that I had such big nipples that I could hang a coat hanger on them...........a plastic one, not a wire one! Now? they point at the ground! LOL

Joanna said...

What I would give to be able to wear shoes like that. They are stunning.

And I LOVE the new outfit - very cute!!!!

Camille said...

I rarely comment lately so that's how you know how much I love the cowgirl outfit!!

Beth Ann said...

I really, really want a pair of cowboy boots. But I made Debi go try some on with me and I couldn't find any that I liked that were comfortable. Waaaahhhhh!!!