Thursday, Thursday….it’s 10 Things Thursday – courtesy of my dear friend Miss Laura Belle! You list 10 random things and have a gumdrop fartin’ time doing it!
1. I know it’s crazy but I’m a fan of the show The Biggest Loser. It’s a trainwreck but I can’t turn away. On this week’s episode, a contestant named Kim went home at the end of the show and she was wearing a mint green and brown one shoulder ruffle dress that I would sell my soul to have. I’m been on the internet for hours trying to find it and can’t. If someone finds this for me – I swear I’ll fart a gold gumdrop and mail it to you. I will not rest until I find it.
2. I want it documented that my love for my best friend Jenny is off the charts. The proof is in the fact that I – Miss would rather have a day job sucking boogers out of baby’s noses with that blue bulb booger sucking thingy than have to call someone on the phone girl – called a complete stranger TWICE. To order orgasm-ic potato salad for her. If that’s not off the charts love – then I don’t know what is.
3. A 305 pound 6ft 10in inmate shanked a few guards this week in prison. If you hurt a guard, you’re considered a huge danger in ANY prison so you get shipped to Rambo’s prison. His prison gets the worst of the worst….the men that no other prison can house. Soooo Mr. 305lb-er who has an insatiable need to hurt guards will soon be Rambo’s responsibility. And people wonder why I don’t sleep.
4. For three days this week Rambo has been hauling liquid nitrogen and fertilizer and filling the tanker himself. Another dangerous job. Seriously – what is wrong with this man? Why can’t he get a job as a kleenex tester or a massage tester outer? Cripes.
5. I ate nearly an entire bag of almond M&Ms yesterday. Not a small single serving size….I mean a LARGE 15 serving bag. I pretend they are sort of healthy due to the almonds being wrapped inside the goodness of an M&M. They were the only thing I had for supper and I may have used all my extra WW weekly points on them but my God in heaven – they were worth it.
6. I’m going shopping all day tomorrow – alone. I hate shopping alone. Did I ever tell you why? Well, it’s because one time I was almost abducted by a creepy guy. No lie. He had sunglasses on and stood at the front of the store watching people enter to see if people were alone. He followed me through the store. He followed me outside and then I began running to my car. He started running after me. I got in my car and screeched away and when I looked back – he ducked so I wouldn’t get a good look at his face. I was so scared I didn’t even remember to call the police. I regret that to this day.
7. Tonight is a run night and I’m dreading it because my legs are still sore from running outside a night ago. What the twat is up with that?
8. I am obssessed with Amazon. Some weeks I order something from there every day. I cannot help it. Sue me.
9. I have a feeling I may go a tish overboard on buying OPI nail polishes tomorrow. Again, I cannot help it. I blame genetics. Or the planets or something.
10. I haven’t had a Mountain Dew for breakfast in OVER a week. Doesn’t that blow your mind and make your week? For realz. Your life is totally better knowing that right? I thought so.
11. I have to say this – so get over the fact that I have 11 things listed. A blogger friend texted me about bikini waxes this week and the funny thing is….it was just like a normal text to me. No gasp of horror or blushing or how dare she ask such a private thing response. Nope. All in a day’s texting with a friend. Waxing the vajingle. Totally normal. I love it.
Okay now I’m done – I swear! Can’t wait to read your 10TT posts!