Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A little bit drowning. Sort of.

I am drowning. But only a little drowning. Is that possible? Or is that like being a little pregnant…meaning you can’t just be a little pregnant? You either are or you aren’t, right?

Well – not me. I’ve always been a little insane. I mean I live in Care Bear Land people. I fart gumdrops and shit rainbows. I ride a unicorn to work and Mountain Dew comes out of every faucet in my world.

So anywho – I am drowning – a little. It’s possible in Drazzie world.

Let me start by saying that I had a helluva weekend. Like good helluva weekend. Monumental in fact. I went to my best friend’s house. Which is 1.5 hours away.

I drove there. In a car. By myself. And I drove back home. In the rain.

While I was there, I attended a baby shower with multitudes of strangers. I never got hives once. I didn’t get a migraine. I didn’t poop my pants. My head didn’t spin around.


I even went to the coolest store on Earth for the first time courtesy of my bestie. (blog to come later on that)

I skyped with some of the coolest women in my life for an hour and laughed so hard I nearly peed in Jenny’s bed.

I ate Mexican and ice cream and even had a little cake (and maybe some more of those orgasms in a bag called almond M&Ms) BUT I didn’t go overboard. I mean yes – I had Mexican and ice cream but before that meal all I had was FRUIT. I managed to come home weighing the same thing I did when I left.

And today on weigh-in day? I lost another pound. I’m down 7.5 since beginning Weight Watchers. I worked out 12 days in April and went nearly 40 miles. While that doesn’t sound like much to many of you – let’s all recall that the month before I had done ZILCH.

Sooo yah…the weekend was fabulous. I came home to Rambo and my girls who ran to my car before I could even open the door telling me how much they missed me and how I was never allowed to leave without them again. LOL

I say that I’m drowning a little because after the adrenaline and laughter filled weekend, the exhaustion is hitting me now. Yesterday at work I came pretty close to shanking my co-worker just because she was breathing. It took everything in me not to start doing the ugly sob at my desk.

I spent the night in Rambo’s arms….as he sat at his computer playing old love songs and our wedding songs for me and the girls. I barely moved.

I’m also drowning in my other two jobs because other people are so incompetent. Sometimes I can’t do it all. I just can’t. Other women I work at the part time jobs with ONLY work part time yet I’m the one who is supposed to work full time and 2 part time jobs AND do their jobs too because they suck donkey farts. Um what??? I cannot deal with ignorant people!!!!!!!!

The problem is that it’s going to get worse. I’m fairly certain that Rambo is going to be elected the Mayor soon. We aren’t going to get less busy. Million dollar street projects are going to be his and my responsibility regardless of the fact that we have full time jobs elsewhere.

We took this on. Willingly. We enjoy it. We like to give back. I did this to myself. I get that.

But sometimes I get to bitch about it and that sometime is right now. Mother heifer – what was I thinking? Obviously – I wasn’t. I could seriously handle all this if everyone else would do their parts and not hand everything off to Rambo and I – simply because they know we are capable and competent.

Ugh. Enough of that. Donezo. I will survive. I am woman – hear me roar and all that good bullshit.

I’m going to go drown myself in a Lean Cuisine that will only be enough to feed a small Ethiopian child.

F*ck a duck and call it Larry. I can’t wait until WTF Wednesday. You can’t even imagine the shit I’m going to spew out tomorrow. Here’s a hint. It involves maxi pads stuck to walls and backed up bowels that aren’t mine. Cripes.

I bet you can’t wait, right?


Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

If I ever pass through a little town with streets named "Gumdrop Alley" or "Skittle Street", I'll know I'm in your neck of the words! Christ Jesus...I'll eat the road signs!

Looking forward to tomorrow!


Kelly said...

Yay for the weight loss! Can't wait to read your post tomorrow. :-)

Steph said...

I'm drowning a bit too, but in the back of my mind, it was all worth it. I haven't laughed so much as I did this weekend on Facetime in a long time. You are awesome...that is all. :)

MandaPanda said...

First...seriously? Mayor? That's awesome. Second, we all drown a little sometimes...and people usually throw out a life line or we float for awhile before finding the strength to swim back to shore. Hang in there sweetie!

Cat said...

I'd wondered where you were!! I'm so thrilled you have had fun. Sorry about all the stress love bug. You are strong. You can do this.

mommykinz said...

Glad you had such a great weekend. No migraines or meltdowns - HOORAY!!!

becca said...

i want to come live in your world

Robyn's Nest said...

Mayor? How did I miss that? I need to do some catching up on my reading.
I hear you roar- you really can do it. Go visit jenny when you need a time out.

MrsFatass said...

I totally can't wait.

Ducky said...

I think we should set stupid people on fire.

Just a thought

Dawnya said...

Your going to be the first lady of Podunk? Holy Crap!!! I love this. I'm moving to Podunk. I can run naked...and get out of jail friend because they Mayor is the hubby of my friend. LOL

affectionforfitness said...

I'm glad you had a fun time despite everything else. I too eat a tiny-calorie meal before or after a splurge. It balances out. Love that you had a weight loss!

:-) Marion

Joanna said...

I know these feelings oh so well - yet, I could never be as strong as you are.

Sounds like you had a fantastic weekend - and each time you feel like shanking someone...just remember the weekend fun. Try to think happy thoughts and all that.

Oh, and Mayor? Did I miss something? That's freakin' awesome!! You'll officially be Mrs. Mayor of Care Bare Land!!