A certain person in my life suggested I try Kama Sutra (sp?) sex. Or is it Karma Sutra? I don’t know.
Side note – yes – I could be spelling kama sutra wrong but I refuse to google it at work. I think you can guess why. Just deal with the misspelling, alright?
Anywhoozle, words that she used to describe her experience with kama sutra sex were: hot, exciting, romantic, different, bonding, hot, and hot. When I asked her what I would have to do she described something that isn’t sex at all. Well, it’s like mind sex. Almost sex. Sex…ish.
You sit anywhere, cross-legged (never mind that only 5 year olds can do this comfortably for any length of time) with your partner and you stare into each other’s eyes for as long as you can. That’s it. No lie. It can be 30 seconds or 10 minutes. The longer the better.
You can laugh. In fact, you will absolutely giggle and laugh and that’s okay. You do that and move on and stay in eye contact. After a while you begin to touch your partner everywhere – mainly non-sexual areas. Arms, head, face, legs…etc. Places we often ignore.
Then you can begin to kiss. And I’m not going to tell you what happens next.
To quote a certain person in my life, “After that – it’s on like Donkey Kong!”
I asked, “Can’t I just wear a thong? It produces the same result without all the nasty eye contact stuff?”
She said no. I have to do the eye thingy.
Seriously? The thought of doing that with Rambo makes my stomach hurt. I mean I’m a “keep my eyes closed during sex” kind of girl.
It’s too intense for me. Too vulnerable.
Sometimes I tell myself – keep your eyes open – look at him…but that requires too much focus and I’d rather focus on ahem…other things.
And the fact just is that this anxiety-ridden, slightly insecure girl doesn’t make or keep eye contact with anyone in my life.
I told this certain someone that doing this – allowing someone to look into my eyes for a long time scares the hell out of me.
Because then Rambo could see into my soul. And I’m not sure my soul is open for viewing. I’m not sure my soul is worthy of being viewed. I’m not sure I can be that vulnerable and trust that much.
Ridiculous but true.
So then the other night Rambo said out of the blue as we were both working on our computers….
Hey. We should pick a month and have sex every day of that month. Like start on the 1st.
I said, “Why do we have to wait until the 1st? Today is the 15th. Can’t we go from May 15th to June 15th? Then we can start today.”
No. We have to start on the 1st. It just makes more sense.
Now – at that moment – I couldn’t tell if I was more proud that for once – my husband said something as OCD as I would have in that logically it just makes better overall organizational sense to begin such a project on the 1st day of a month.
Or more proud that he wants to have sex with me every day for 30 days.
I’m a little worried about 30 days straight – I must admit. I mean in all honesty – vaginas are a lot like purses. Even if you buy a good, quality one – if you use it every day – it’ll eventually wear out. It won’t function the same over time. It’ll be tired and have to walk bow-legged. Wait. That’s not right.
What I’m getting at is – if we partake in this little endeavor….there will be plenty of opportunities to try this Kama Sutra crap. Which I promised my certain someone that I would do.
I think I’d rather die and come back in my second life as the lint in Satan’s belly button.
But I’ll try it.
So how about you? What do you think of this Kama Sutra eye thingy? Ever tried it? Wanna try it and let me know how it goes so I can perfect the method before I do it? Wanna tell me to shut up and stop asking you such personal questions? Want me to stop telling you every detail of my life? Yes?
Well not really. I'll be back soon to tell you how our "eye sex" goes.
I bet you're on pins and needles, huh?