Wednesday, May 16, 2012

WTF Wednesday!

It’s time for WTF Wednesday here. I write a post of about all the things that make me want to scream WhatTF or WhyTF – either in a good way or a bad way. Try it! It’s kinda fun!


WhyTF does my child have to go through puberty? Can’t she be the ONE child on this Earth that just skips it? Case in point – last night she said to me:

Mom – you know how the nurse at school said that when we get our periods – our moods will change and we’ll get crabby? Does that really happen? Will my mood change?

Um – maybe. Every girl is different. Sometimes you don’t even notice a difference. Like me – I can’t really tell. Do you ever notice that I’m crabby once a month?

Yes.

WTF? I am not. What do you know – you’re only 11 anyway!


Whatever Mom. Oh and also – I played football with the boys at recess. I threw a spiral and got a touchdown. I figure that’ll earn me some points with the boys. You know – so they don’t think that I’m all girly girl – even though I totally am.

GOD HELP ME!


WTF makes some people so nice? Take Laura Belle over at Beer and Dogs. Do you know that girl sent me MINT GREEN nail polish (um – it’s my fave color) AND shitloads of new pastel Sharpie pens? I mean getting that package was like unwrapping an orgasm in an envelope! And then the blogger – Miss Katie J – sent me TWO adorb patches for my Harley vest!! Which by the way – is officially done. Blogger Leanne sent me the coolest hat she knitted using my fave colors too! Y’all are soooo sweet!

• I landscaped for nearly 6 hours on Sunday and the level of soreness I still feel today is asstastic. When I sit down to go pee, I have to use the rail on the wall to lower myself slowly and tears of pain form in my eyes. Each time I move in any way I have to stop myself from screaming out in pain. It freaking hurts to blink – I swear. And as a lovely byproduct of this soreness – my scale went up 5 pounds in one day – even though I didn’t eat much because I was working outside! It’s almost laughable. And it sucks pink plaid donkey balls. WTF!

• I watched the new Bachelorette with Emily Maynard this week. I don’t know why. The whole time I yelled at the TV, “This show is so ridiculous!! OMG – I hate him!! Jesus, Joseph and Larry – I want to shank that guy!!” The whole thing was as much fun as cutting my own left leg off. WTF!!! (Yes, I will watch it again next week. Sue me.)

• I bought two Coach purses a few days ago online. I’m nearly dying in anticipation of their arrival. WhyTF does it take so long to ship things?

• While I was landscaping this weekend – I had on a sports bra and a tank top. At one point in the day, I felt like my nipples were naked. I kept working. I ignored it. Finally it bugged me too much and I looked down and my entire sports bra was UNDER my booblets. Both boobs – completely hanging out – flapping in the wind. I can’t even tell you how many more times that happened in the day. Apparently bending over is not condusive to booblets staying in the confines of a sports bra. WTF! (My neighbors are thanking God I chose to put on a tank top that day.)

• I want to pierce my nose with the teeniest tiniest little diamond stud. Is that wrong? Is it unprofessional? WhyTF do I even care? My God – my mother will full out disown me if I really do it. Hmmm…if I can’t figure out my tattoo issue – I might as well pierce something, right? No?

Okay – that’s enough for today….now it’s your turn! Go!

17 comments:

Kelly said...

I got my tongue pierced in college. 10 years ago. My Dad still doesn't know about it, but my Mom saw it. Every once in a while I rock the tongue ring, and I don't care if its unprofessional or not.

angel shrout said...

That right there with your daughter.. is one reason I am glad I had sons. I don't want to go to jail for murdering some lecherous teenage boy. I had enough sense to train mine to keep their letchery under control and use words like Yes maam and Yes sir. I hate sports bras. I am so big chested they hold them so close together like they are hugging on another. Although they are cooler then my typical bra that closeness makes me feel all icky...

Ronnie said...

I love watching the Bachelorette. I have no idea why. It's so trashy, but so much fun. :)

Jenny said...

tee hee... The lbs on the scale all are from the lead muscles.
I call the sports bra result, THE LOAF and instead of out the top, its out the bottom. FML.
Thanks for the funny post! I got my nose done with my mom when I was 12. I had a teeny little diamond. Mostly no one noticed. When I turned 18, I stuck in a hoop and have had it ever since. No one who cares what you do to your nose is worthwhile giving a turd about anyway. Thanks for this chuckle this morning.

Brenda said...

OMG....shank someone...that is funny stuff right there Draz. F-U-N-N-Y!!!!

jennxaz said...

what no pics of the purses.....darn it!

Katie J ♥ said...

Ya where are the pictures of your loot!

I love ya doll and that is why I am nice :)

Jen said...

I watched the Bachelorette with the same comments.. I finally turned it off but you can bet that I'll have it on again next week.. why do we put ourselves through the misery?? WTF indeed!

LDswims said...

You don't want a piercing you want a tattoo. One won't replace the other. Get the nose pierced because you want to get the nose pierced.

And all I'ma say is give us pictures!

Barbara said...

I just love reading your posts.. you make me laugh!!

becca said...

i'm to much of a wimp to get anything other then my ears pierced as for tattoos i want one but can't have one

o.c. bandster said...

I always look forward to Wednesday to see WTF you will find to write about & make us all laugh

Joanna said...

OK, I stopped reading in the morning because I was tired of spitting coffee all over my keyboard... totally forgot about that this evening and did the same thing. UGH!!

I love your WTF posts!!

trishajo said...

Beyotch you betta post pics of those purses when you get them!! And if one of them is the same one Vicky got I am going to shank you both!!!!! LOL

LuckyEight16 said...

I pierced my tongue when I was 18, my parents totally freaked out. It's funny because I used to say "Well, at least it's not a tattoo, I can always take it out." Then I got a tat, which I refuse to tell my dad about, lol.

Laura Belle said...

That polish...it's called Gumdrop, and it's that kinda turqoise green color, that I'd know you love, so I just had to give it to you. it was like the Fate Gods were shining down upon thee.....in Sally Beauty Supply. It's like a beam from heaven flowed down right on the bottle. no shit.

You're welcome Sunflower. You've been a great friend. My best friend. Love you!

MandaPanda said...

Your daughter cracks me up...and scares me at the same time. I've got two girls and I'm not looking forward to this!