It’s time for WTF Wednesday here. I write a post of about all the things that make me want to scream WhatTF or WhyTF – either in a good way or a bad way. Try it! It’s kinda fun!
• WhyTF does my child have to go through puberty? Can’t she be the ONE child on this Earth that just skips it? Case in point – last night she said to me:
Mom – you know how the nurse at school said that when we get our periods – our moods will change and we’ll get crabby? Does that really happen? Will my mood change?
Um – maybe. Every girl is different. Sometimes you don’t even notice a difference. Like me – I can’t really tell. Do you ever notice that I’m crabby once a month?
WTF? I am not. What do you know – you’re only 11 anyway!
Whatever Mom. Oh and also – I played football with the boys at recess. I threw a spiral and got a touchdown. I figure that’ll earn me some points with the boys. You know – so they don’t think that I’m all girly girl – even though I totally am.
GOD HELP ME!
• WTF makes some people so nice? Take Laura Belle over at Beer and Dogs. Do you know that girl sent me MINT GREEN nail polish (um – it’s my fave color) AND shitloads of new pastel Sharpie pens? I mean getting that package was like unwrapping an orgasm in an envelope! And then the blogger – Miss Katie J – sent me TWO adorb patches for my Harley vest!! Which by the way – is officially done. Blogger Leanne sent me the coolest hat she knitted using my fave colors too! Y’all are soooo sweet!
• I landscaped for nearly 6 hours on Sunday and the level of soreness I still feel today is asstastic. When I sit down to go pee, I have to use the rail on the wall to lower myself slowly and tears of pain form in my eyes. Each time I move in any way I have to stop myself from screaming out in pain. It freaking hurts to blink – I swear. And as a lovely byproduct of this soreness – my scale went up 5 pounds in one day – even though I didn’t eat much because I was working outside! It’s almost laughable. And it sucks pink plaid donkey balls. WTF!
• I watched the new Bachelorette with Emily Maynard this week. I don’t know why. The whole time I yelled at the TV, “This show is so ridiculous!! OMG – I hate him!! Jesus, Joseph and Larry – I want to shank that guy!!” The whole thing was as much fun as cutting my own left leg off. WTF!!! (Yes, I will watch it again next week. Sue me.)
• I bought two Coach purses a few days ago online. I’m nearly dying in anticipation of their arrival. WhyTF does it take so long to ship things?
• While I was landscaping this weekend – I had on a sports bra and a tank top. At one point in the day, I felt like my nipples were naked. I kept working. I ignored it. Finally it bugged me too much and I looked down and my entire sports bra was UNDER my booblets. Both boobs – completely hanging out – flapping in the wind. I can’t even tell you how many more times that happened in the day. Apparently bending over is not condusive to booblets staying in the confines of a sports bra. WTF! (My neighbors are thanking God I chose to put on a tank top that day.)
• I want to pierce my nose with the teeniest tiniest little diamond stud. Is that wrong? Is it unprofessional? WhyTF do I even care? My God – my mother will full out disown me if I really do it. Hmmm…if I can’t figure out my tattoo issue – I might as well pierce something, right? No?
Okay – that’s enough for today….now it’s your turn! Go!