WTF is wrong with my best friend? True story – hand to God. She posted a CLOSE UP picture of a wolf spider with babies on its back. The spider is huh-uge. Like bigger than my ass huge. I refuse to talk to her today. I told her the only way I’ll forgive her is if she sends me 6 dozen white Kit Kats.
WhyTF hasn’t someone made a bright pink M&M yet? Yes – I realize they make custom colored M&Ms that you can buy special but I mean – just imagine – you rip open a bag of the chocolate drops of paradise and OMG – there’s a fuschia M&M in there. Wouldn’t you run around screaming like you’d just struck gold? I would.
My 6 year old came crying to me the other night and I asked her what was wrong. She had just put itch cream on a mosquito bite and she was acting like someone had cut her leg off. She was in that much pain. She said to me, “Mom, the medicine hasn’t devolved yet.” WTF?? I looked at her like she had 4 heads and she said, “Geez Mom, the teacher told us that owwies will hurt until the medicine devolves. Duh.” Um yes. Duh.
I may or may not have spent more money than I’ve ever spent on a purse before solely based on the INSIDE of the purse. It’s a Coach Legacy purse. It’s white. It is To. Die. For. The inside is the famous Coach striped lining. I searched for weeks for it and had Jenny investigate its worth and authenticity. I’ve now had it over a week and haven’t even taken the packing paper out of it. WTF is wrong with me? (seriously – don’t answer that)
It’s no secret that Rambo and I work on multiple community boards. He’s the President for 2 boards and I clerk for 2 boards. It takes time, effort and commitment and you make the choice to do it. While we are in no way perfect – it just pisses us both off that some people say they’ll serve and they can’t even make once a month meetings. WTF is that about? If you don’t want to do it – don’t. If you do – show the f*ck up. Mmkkaayy?
My back is out – like massively. I put it out when I pulled our Harley down on Rambo and I and we had to push it back upright with our legs pinned under it. I’m so pissed I did that because my anxiety ridden self HATES the chiropractor but the normal person that I am is screaming in back pain and yelling WhyTF don’t you just go get your back fixed you idiot!? I’m a hot mess.
Martha Stewart (co-worker across the hall) – with her matching underwear and napkins – won the weight loss competition at work. I want to shank her – hard – in her perfectly manicured small toe that also matches her underwear. WhoTF does she think she is anyway?
That’s it for my WTF Wednesday. Whew…I feel better. How about you?