Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I wanna be a fisherman...sort of.

Let me just say that I’ve never been a girl who likes to fish. I did it plenty of times as a kid but as an adult, I can openly admit that the whole putting a live worm on a hook thing just about makes me hurl. Which reminds me – as a kid - do you know that I used to hunt nightcrawlers?

Do any of you know how to do that? It’s like a sport when you live in Podunk and you’re sick of playing staring contests. You wait until dark and wait until there’s dew on the grass and you go out with your flashlights looking for huge nightcrawler worms that are out of their holes and you pounce on them and pull them out of their holes.

Then you feed them to fish at a later date.

I cannot even fathom doing such a thing now. What a terrible flashback.

Alright – anyway – holy shit – I do have a point. I’m pretty sure there’s a fishing term known as “catch and release”. If there’s not – well then I just made it up and now there is. Feel free to use it. I won’t even copyright it.

For me, I shall not catch and release. Or fish at all in fact. I shall “write and release” instead. I’m feeling slightly full of fears, angers, and anxieties today and I’m going to write them in order to try to release them. It better work because that was one helluva long explanation and I’m pretty sure half of you quit reading a while back.

Here we go:

• I am spending the entire day with my extended family tomorrow…along with Rambo and my girls. To say this is creating anxiety within me is like saying OJ Simpson is guilty. There’s no doubt about it. I’m fairly sure the migraine I got this morning is about this.

• I have my end of week 3 weigh-in tomorrow along with the other challengers. I’m not super nervous about this BUT I’m not completely confident either.

• I was on the treadmill for 60 minutes last night and if I had to guess, I’d say I ran for about 20 of those minutes here and there. I never put my speed over 3.4mph because I was afraid my legs might break if I did. I’m afraid I may never be a runner again…and I really want to be.

• I am anxious about summer being over and school starting. I love no bedtimes and no getting up times and not caring what my kids have on for clothing or sports events or drama. I just love summer. I hate it when it’s over.

• I am worried about a stupid, ignorant, fart-blasting, *&^%$# government report that I filed for my 3rd job that is incorrect! I do not want to do it over. I just don’t. I’d rather share a birthday cake with Satan. Ugh.

• I’m anxious about taking the day off tomorrow to spend the day with the extended family because I hate taking days off unless it’s a Friday. I like to stay ahead of my work and coming in to work with piles waiting makes me irritated.

• Rambo and I belong to a club that fundraises for the Muscular Dystrophy Association and our biggest event of the year is Saturday and I don’t have a sitter. I’m slightly worried about this because I may have to call the mother-in-law. God help me.

• I’m mad at myself for skipping the board meeting last night. I wasn’t prepared to go so I’ll have to go next month. I have to deal with people not paying their bills and I just don’t want to. Blah.

• I’m mad that chocolate has calories and I want to eat mounds of it and take a bath in because I’m stressed about tomorrow. Kill me now.

Whew – okay, that’s enough for this week.

How about you? Are you worried about anything? Feeling anxious about something? Irritated?

Well then, write it and release it…sort of like fisherman do.

Sort of.

Give me a break. If I didn’t call it something catchy like “Write and Release”, then this post would have to be titled something like, “Bitching by Draz. Pity Party for one.”

And c’mon. That’s just not fun at all.


Sarah said...

We had a game like that... Only you pulled the worms out of the holes and then chased your screaming siblings yelling "Tremors! Tremors will EAT you!!!!! He's got me! AAAAaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!"

Yeah. We were badass country hick kids. It's fine. ;)


LegalMommy said...

I 'borrowed' your write and release idea, but I totally gave you credit! Thanks for being so brave about sharing your life.

Sarah said...

I've heard of catch and release so think you must have retained fishing term genius-ness. Well done you.

60 minutes on the treadmill rocks. Whether you got over 3.4 or not give yourself serious credit for that one. Try building up the speed 0.1 a session/week/fortnight/month at a time. Keep you finger on the down button in case you need it but you will get there because you rock.

Hope tomorrow goes well.

Jen said...

Girl, I'm a ball of constant anxiety.. I'd take up too much of your comment space if I wrote it all down!!

Good job on the treadmill.. who cares if you only did 20 minutes, you did it!! AND you will be a runner again. Were you a runner the first time you got on the treadmill or did you have to work up to it?? I'd bet that's all you need to do again.

Good luck tomorrow on the scale. I was all confident about losing some weight and now today I'm swollen up like a stuffed sausage.. not giving me too much confidence for tomorrow!!

Shug in Boots said...

Girl, you just gotta give yourself a pat on the back (or if you are me, your hubs can give you a slap on the ass) for doin the best you can. Hubs and I are doin our own "biggest loser". Yeah ... he's lost 5 lbs and I've gained a half one. F it. I am doing AWESOME keeping my diabetes regulated, so to me, that's my "winning". Today, I have PMS. My reward? bacon/fries/burger. I ain't gonna beat myself up. You're doing awesome at life. Whoop! Whoop!

Robyn's Nest said...

Did it work??? Did it help to write it out? If so, I need to 'borrow' the idea.....
Love ya!! Sorry about the extended family stuff, that can always be tough.

RockBand Barbie said...

I thought about you today. I gave my aides a bag full of goodies (all chocolate) and a thank you card for a great first day of school. I bought a pack of the full size white chocolate kit kats and put in their bags. Can you believe that none of them had even tried them??

Kelly said...

I can't even talk about the whole hunting for nightcrawlers business right now. Or ever, for that matter. And please - I bitch & moan on my blog all the time, it's our space to do with as we choose! I can't wait to hear about WI. :-)

Joy said...

My goodness - you've got the worries!! Just face one thing at a time! Most of the time, things are not as bad as we think! Take care!!

Stay focused!

jennxaz said...

lol--the worms thing I can so relate...we just went back to ND for vacation and I had to show johnny how to catch worms and them put them on the hook all wiggling...I had forgotten how gross it was until I had to do it again!!!!!

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

I don't want school to start either because I'll have 2 in high school now and I worry about the work for them and their future!! I also now have to find a job since babysitting is over (they're both in school full-time) and i haven't worked outside the house since '96, EARLY '96!!